SMASH!! Returns!!

[swimm3r]

We€™re the ones with the CRASH!!
We€™re the ones with the BASH!!
We are the ones that take out the TRASH!!
And you€™ll never escape from Robot SMASH!!

*Jonathan Pearce and Henry Rollins appear in the SMASH!! Box, suspended 10 feet above the Robotagon itself with screens behind them showing lists of robots and battles*
JP: Welcome back to Robot SMASH!!
Henry: Before the (very long) break third seeds Nidhogg Evo got rid of Heliosa Xtreme with help from Blast.
JP: And ranked #19 E Clawdius Unum pitted Leprosy Infection to advance along with Delirium Tremors.
Henry: Now we have Nidhogg Evo facing off against Delirium Tremors.
JP: And E Clawdius Unum ready to battle Blast.
Henry: Only 2 can make the heat final.
JP: Will the heat final be clash of two seeded robots?
Henry: Or will round 2 wield a double shocker?
Harry Hill: There€™s only one way to find out...
Audience: FIGHT!

*Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby appear in the pits, where Will is working on Delirium Tremors in the background*
Fearne: So it€™s round 2 again.
Holly: Nidhogg is the third seed this series, down from number two last series.
Fearne: It has always lost to the eventual champion, Wedge Devolution in series 1 and PsycloniZer last series.
Holly: Delirium Tremors is a newcomer.
Fearne: The spinning drum is powerful, but the armour is weak and the drive is very slow.
Holly: It moves, but not fast.
Fearne: E Clawdius Unum is seeded nineteenth this series.
Holly: It has lost to Killobite 5.0 twice now.
Fearne: But can it beat Blast?
Holly: We€™ll find out after this next fight!

Battleboard:
Nidhogg Evo (3) vs. Delirium Tremors
E Clawdius Unum (19) vs. Blast

*Henry appears in the middle of the Robotagon with the robots in their starting squares and the Roboteers on either side of him*
Henry: This is a Robot SMASH!! Series 3: Lock3d and Load3d round 2 match-up!
In the Red Corner, seeded number #3, Nidhogg Evo!
In the Blue Corner, Delirium Tremors!

Roboteers, standby!

Booth Red: Joey McConnell
Booth Blue: Will Harrison

House Robot: Cassius Chrome

#5...
#4...
#3...
#2...
#1...
#SMASH!!

The match begins and Nidhogg immediately moves across the arena towards Delirium Tremors, which is spinning up the drum weapon as Nidhogg moves to meet it. Delirium Tremors tries to swerve away from the front of Nidhogg, but it€™s too slow and the wedge front of the seeded machine gets under the left wheel of Matty€™s full body drum, lifting and bringing the crusher into play, but DT slips off the lifter before the crusher gets in there and turns into the side of Nidhogg, bashing it with the drum and flicking it over rapidly! Will moves in for a second attack and knocks against Nidhogg again, this time hitting it when the drum is at a slower speed and rolling Nidhogg over, trying to rush in against the base panel to rip through the aluminium, but Joey is desperate to get away and does so quickly the moment a Nidhogg wheel touches the arena floor, turning around to meet the oncoming assault from Delirium Tremors.
However the 6 drill motors inside Delirium Tremors are not powerful enough to move the robot anywhere fast and even as it trundles towards Nidhogg the seed turns away and uses its superior speed to attack the side of the newcomer, this time succeeding in lifting one side of the drive off the floor and bringing the crusher into play, but the four wheels of Delirium Tremors still off the ground spin and Delirium spins away before Nidhogg€™s crusher gets in on those bottom wheels! Joey gnashes his teeth in frustration, but Delirium Tremors is on the attack again and he is forced to focus his concentration on reversing away from the spinning machine, just escaping with a slight bump from the drum which scratches the paintwork and does a little superficial damage, but has no real effect on the match.
And so Nidhogg Evo drives back in on the attack again, dodging the drum as it did before and lifting Delirium Tremors, this time pushing forward to pin Will€™s machine against the wall as he does so, and this stops the other set of wheels giving Delirium Tremors an easy get away as the crusher finally comes into play, sinking through the rear bottom wheel on the right and giving Nidhogg Evo a good hold on DT, so Joey reverses across the arena and hits the pit release button. The chasm descends, but the impact loosens Nidhogg€™s grip on his opponent and Delirium Tremors falls to the ground, and unluckily for Nidhogg it falls forwards and so the wheels being used changes, so that the damaged wheel is in the air and the working ones are on the ground! This means Delirium Tremor€™s manouevrability is not at all weakened by Nidhogg€™s attack, and Will goes on another onslaught, driving into the side of Nidhogg Evo and throwing it over onto its side, and this time he manages to catch the aluminium baseplate and rips a gash in it before ploughing again and slamming Nidhogg Evo against the barrier, driving in just to pin Joey against the spike strip as the drum finally grounds to halt after the series of influentially damaging hits on Nidhogg.
Will reverses away to spin up again, but Nidhogg doesn€™t seem to be moving anyway! Then we see now that the base is bent and ripped so badly that Nidhogg€™s wheels aren€™t touching the ground, so the match is over!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

CEASE!

Nidhogg Evo (3) is delirious;
Delirium Tremors advances!

*Fearne walks up to Joey in the pits*
Fearne: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!
Joey: WTF?!!?!?!?
Fearne: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!
Joey: WTH!?!?!?!??!
Fearne: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!
Joey: ...
Fearne: Sorry I have to act completely out of character from time to time. OMFG! Nidhogg is out!
Joey: ... I did notice.
Fearne: Sorry I have to act completely out of character from time to time. What went wrong?
Joey: The base panel was just too weak, and Delirium Tremors has a very powerful spinning weapon that can also flip... Not a good combination.
Fearne: I see.
Joey: ...You do?
Fearne: Indeed.
Joey: Then you€™ve won pit reporter of the year... Your opponent was Carmen Electra, so don€™t get too big headed.
Fearne: What happened to Phillippa, Julia, Jayne, whoever else presented Battlebots, that blonde woman off Extreme Warriors II and the rest?
Joey: ...Liam, were you bored and completely devoid of any sensible conversation topics when writing this post match interview?
Liam: Yes, extremely.

Battleboard:
Nidhogg Evo (3) vs. Delirium Tremors
E Clawdius Unum (19) vs. Blast

*Henry appears in the middle of the Robotagon with the robots in their starting squares and the Roboteers on either side of him*
Henry: This is a Robot SMASH!! Series 3: Lock3d and Load3d round 2 match-up!
In the Red Corner, seeded number #19, E Clawdius Unum!
In the Blue Corner, Blast!

Roboteers, standby!

Booth Red: Steven McGregor
Booth Blue: Paul Cuomo

House Robot: Mr. Psycho

#5...
#4...
#3...
#2...
#1...
#SMASH!!

The match begins, with Clawdius zooming out of the starting square to meet Blast. Both try to dodge each other€™s wedged fronts with little success, Steven trying to manoeuvre around Blast again to get the spears underneath while Paul dodges Clawdius€™ onslaught to try and get the spikes on Blast€™s scoop underneath again.
The green wedge of Clawdius spins again though, this time bumping up the side of Blas and ramming in underneath with those magmotors in the drive going at full throttle, allowing Steven to wedge Blast and pin it against the spike strip as the hydraulic crusher comes into play, depressing the titanium top armour of Blast and hooking onto it before lifting the wheels off the ground and reversing back across the arena, proudly holding Blast aloft for all to see!
Paul panics and fires the flipper of Blast, but Clawdius€™ grip is strong and Steven reverses into the pit release button, hitting it just as Paul fires Blast€™s flipper again, and the simultaneous actions allow Blast to shake loose the seeded machine€™s grip, and Paul quickly darts away from the E Clawdius Unum, who follows quickly as Paul runs away across the arena.
Blast turns to meet Clawdius again though, and this time Blast gains the advantage, sliding the flipper in underneath the front of the rank #19 robot and firing it, sending E Clawdius Unum over onto its back with a snort of co2 and a driving in quickly to capitalise on the attack, ramming the upturned emperor across the arena and into the CPZ! Mr. Psycho brings the hammer down on Clawdius, who was self-righting halfway through the attack and is knocked back down onto its wheels, reversing out of the CPZ quickly and ramming into the side of Blast, but Paul turns quickly and gets underneath the side skirt of E Clawdius Unum this time, throwing it over with another flick from the flipper, the seeded robot landing noisily on its back, perhaps taking damage just from the power of these flips!
Still the newcomer isn€™t content though and as Steven self-rights using the linear actuated side arms Blast runs in underneath again, ramming Clawdius against the spike strip and firing the flipper, and in a huge shock Clawdius lands on the rails, toppling precariously for a moment before it falls over the edge and comes crashing down onto the camera tracks, where it lies broken, beaten and defeated, in a battle with a premature end.

CEASE!

E Clawdius Unum (19) is on the camera tracks;
Blast advances!

*Holly walks up to Steven in the pits*
Holly: This round has been a seed massacre!
Steven: It seems so, yes.
Holly: What went wrong in that round?
Steven: Nothing at first, I was in control and did some damage to the top armour of Blast, but it€™s a good machine and fought back strongly.
Holly: I thought you had it at the start, but that flipper is certainly a dangerous force to be reckoned with, wouldn€™t you agree?
Steven: Indeed, it€™s a very interesting setup, as instead of a bog-standard wedge it€™s a scoop with those two front spikes that could prove very potent in getting under the other robots.
Holly: Your front spears didn€™t seem to work against it.
Steven: They did, but every impact is different because of everything, where the arena is uneven or how fast the robots are going.
Holly: Who do you think will win the heat final, Delirium Tremors or Blast?
Steven: I honestly don€™t know, they€™re both impressive machines and I think it could go either way.
Holly: Thanks for competing.

Battleboard:
Delirium Tremors vs. Blast

JP: We€™ll return for the heat final.
Henry: Right after the break.

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BTW, 1st battles of ETC09 up tommorrow, since it's Easter Sunday

[joey_picus]

I'm forgiving the fact that I lost because that interview was bloody brilliant Seriously, great fight and I'm glad I went out to such a good machine, especially compared to some others whose names I...read.

I'll go for Tremors to win in the final as well...well, I lost to it so I would :P but if the drum beat me then it'll take out Blast as well.

[samuel3764]

@ the post game interview with Fearne and Joey. =P

I'll go for (insert robot name here) to win this one. It's a unique design, and its axlebot like shape might be a pest to Blast. So...

Heat B Winner: Delirium Tremors :P

Very good fights, there, I must say.

[kodster]

Nidhogg was robbed But the interview more than made up for it, lmao

I'll go for the bot that robbed Nidhogg to win.

[andrewj]

Here are Paul's tactics for Blast vs. Delirium Tremors:

Blast's tactics are to drive STRAIGHT INTO THE DRUM! Because my front is a scoop and not a flat wedge, it'll be perfect for stopping the drum, and once on the scoop, I just have to push him to the side and flip him out, because the drum contains a lot of weight, and it should work similar to WORCK vs. SHA2 in RS!!1
If that fails, open the drum and push him from the sides down the pit.

Nice stuff as always, Liam, well done.

[kodster]

Bumping this for the sole purpose of asking Liam if he's got any motivation to write at the moment. And naught more from yours truly.