watched this the other day:

THINGS YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR AT WORK:

Now, iv heard its someones very special-11th birthday, and wev got you, a photo of a cake! hing ga hong ma va voo hing ga hong ma va voo....

THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO AIRPORT RECEPTIONISTS:

(comedian is behind the bar)

(Easy jet employees walk in)

hello mike! you be wanting a pint? thats 44p please, yes i know it sounds cheap...oh by the way its £2 for a glass....you be wanting a head on that? hey i didnt rip you off! why didnt you book your flights online then?