I hate those automated voices you get in lifts. But most of all, I hate the ones at self service checkouts. Its not just that they sound lifeless, its the way they always seem to put commas and full stops where no commas and full stops should go that gets me. The self service checkouts are like:

Please scan, your item.
Please place item, in bagging area.
*customer places item in bagging area*
Un,expected. Item, in bagging, area.
*Customer removes item and puts it back slightly differently, then presses finish*
In,sert cash. Or select, pay,ment type. Please scan. Or swipe. Your clubcard.
Please take, your change. Notes. Are dispensed, below the scanner.
Please submit, to the will. Of Tescoes. Your lords, and masters. Resis,tance. Is futile.