Well, I did say this would continue, didnt I?

The Elder Swear vs. Derek Del Boy Trotter

House fighters are...gone?

It is downright mute around the salesman, save the raging wind blowing infinite particles of dust and dirt into the air. There seems to be no living thing within hundreds of miles, but of course you would have that impression if you could hardly see 5 metres in front of you. The dust swarms over him in a typhoon motion as he makes his way across the blasted plain. The pits are filled with reeking mud and foul waters, and the stench is almost unbearable, and there seems to be a deadening voice amongst the wind. Quickly Derek strides now, desperate to escape this hellish desert, and suddenly, out of the gathering dust, a tall gate appears, looming over the man like a gigantic shadow. The salesman espies two towers on either side of the gate shaped like teeth, and though there still does not seem to be any form of life, the entire crevasse is filled with a deep watchfulness. Derek approaches the gate and lightly taps the gate, and withdraws his finger as if he had been burned...which he is. The tip of the finger is now charred black and lifeless as he gazes at it in agony and astonishment.
Suddenly, as though the touch was a signal of some kind, the brazen doors slowly begin to swing forth. Derek backs off to avoid being brushed aside by the doors, tripping as he does so and soaking his entire head in a pool of slime and filth. He swiftly leaps back to his feet, brushing the muck away, as a single horseman gallops towards the salesman. Derek stares; the horseman is robed in black; his horse was a black one; even his lofty helm was dark. As Derek stands there, taking in the horsemans appearance, the beast halts, and the rider addresses the salesman.
I am the Mouth of Sauron.
Derek has no idea who this Sauron is, he was only marked down to deliver a small parcel to someone named Dark Lord.
Err, excuse me, do you know where this Dark Lord is? he asks the horseman. I have something here for him.
He resides on the tower, looking for the one treasure that will allow him to cover the entire world in a second darkness, comes the reply.
A second darkness? Uh...that wouldnt be good, would it?
You...are not allied with him?
Im just a salesman, sir, here to deliver something to him.
The horseman explodes with fury.
THAT SAURON! HE NEVER TELLS ME THESE THINGS! AHHHHH - He then begins to let loose a flurry of enraged curses, which sound the same as something seen on Potter Puppet Pals. Derek stares at him for a second, then proceeds to walk past him, even while the Mouth of Sauron is still cursing. Derek decides that hell leave the parcel in the volcano so that the Dark Lord will find it.
A week later (and STILL the horseman is cursing, though steadily running out of breath) he finally gets to the volcano, and finding an entrance he makes his way into the volcano. He puts the parcel down, then smacks his head; he forgot to check his shoe for earwigs. He bends down, but loses his balance and kicks the parcel into the Crack of Doom
Oh my! Uh...I dont think anybody should know about this. He turns and runs away. Had he looked down, he would have known the ensuing destruction he had to escape on the back to the gate was caused by the parcel itself, which contained, ironically, The One Ring.
And the Mouth of Sauron realizes it. Mid-curse, he shrivels up, and fades from the world.

Derek Del Boy Trotter advances to Round 2!

(Message edited by kodster on September 29, 200