Oooook - I may have misunderstood this tournament, but isn't it meant to be my entries (in this case, the deliciously tasty Chicken and Bacon sub; screw the tax, I ain't paying tax on my sandwich) that do the fighting? None of my entries was me, yet I am the main offensive force for my team in that battle.
Or should I just accept that tournaments like this are so random that it's not worth bothering about? :P
Well... the tournies are supposed to be random...
Alright, say hello to the heat final...
Male Kram vs A bottle of tequila taped to a flamethrower on top of Mythras
The arena will be... An oxygen-filled void in space...
Almost immediately, the battle ends before it began, as Male uses a knife to cut the tape holding the tequila bottle and flamethrower together. The tequila spills out and freezes due to the cold temperatures, as the glass shatters due to the low pressure. Luckily, Jack is able to recover Mythras, however, the flamethrower is no more.
MALE KRAM MOVES ON TO THE SEMI-FINALS!!!
And next time...
Kryptonite vs Steve Irwin vs A cube of Hardox 450 weighing 100 kg vs Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club
Tears for Fears vs A drill motor strapped to a block of wood with a CD wheel and a picture of George Bush stapled to the back vs A bottle of the finest Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey vs An unholy satanic wizard who uses black magic to resurrect long-dead threads
Steve Irwin's tactics: Use a man-eating crocodile to eat everyone up.
Time for more fights...
Kryptonite vs Steve Irwin vs A cube of Hardox 450 weighing 100 kg vs Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club
The arena will be a swimming pool, with an empty hot tub for a pit.
Steve jumps into the pool, and is followed by the Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club. Immediately, Steve throws the Kryptonite into the hot tub/pit, knocking it out of the competition. Now, the HRAFC and Steve Irwin shove the 100kg Hardox 450 cube into the pool, where it sinks to the bottom. The cube is immobilized, so I guess the humans go through!
STEVE IRWIN AND THE HARROGATE RAILWAY ATHLETIC FOOTBALL CLUB GO THROUGH TO ROUND 2!!!
Tears for Fears vs A drill motor strapped to a block of wood with a CD wheel and a picture of George Bush stapled to the back vs A bottle of the finest Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey vs An unholy satanic wizard who uses black magic to resurrect long-dead threads
The arena will be my backyard.
Immediately, the wizard picks up the bottle of whiskey and drinks about a quarter of the bottle. Also immediately, he falls to the ground, and will remain passed out until the end of the century. The bottle hits the ground, and cracks, spilling whiskey on Tears for Fears' feet. The band slip and passes out on the floor, as the Motor attached to wood attached to a picture of George Bush turns into the real George Bush.
A CRACKED BOTTLE OF THE FINEST JACK DANIELS TENNESSEE WHISKEY AND GEORGE BUSH MOVE ON TO ROUND 2!!!
Round 2:
George Bush vs Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club
A Cracked Bottle of the Finest Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey vs Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin's tactics: Hmmm... Well, obviously drink the whiskey, and use Terrorhurtz to axe the bottle into pieces.
Good luck Jamie =)
George bush's tactics...hmmm....bring all the people at my desposal, every politician, every soldier, every american football player and then take them to the top secret lab (just outside London, if you've hit sheen you've gone to far, if you've entered Mongolia crescent....oh never mind) and take a bit of there dna using a special machine i just invented....then put all the dna in another special top secret machine and turn them all into one super soldier with jet packs and rockets and the such, then let all the original people go home and let the super soldier crush the football team, if im in a confined space then i have a less powerful machine gun, and if i cant use any weapon with gunpowder i have a cricket bat in the back. his armor is a special layer of air and other gasses which is unbreakable, but feather light, this armor is called featherum.
JD's tactics: One of the cracks in the bottle resembles a stingray's tail - guess the rest
Best of luck Sam
Sorry if these are short, but well...
George Bush vs Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club
The arena will be a nuclear missile silo.
George appears on the scene with a massive super-soldier, who immediately kills the football club. Sorry if this was a short fight, but well...
GEORGE BUSH MOVES ON TO THE HEAT FINAL!!!
A Cracked Bottle of the Finest Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey vs Steve Irwin
The arena will be on top of a nickel.
Steve drinks some of the whiskey, then passes out. However, in passing out, his hand knocks the bottle of whiskey to the floor. The whiskey bottle cracks, then shatters.
STEVE IRWIN MOVES ON TO THE HEAT FINAL!!!
Heat final:
Steve Irwin vs George Bush
Alright, the heat final: Steve Irwin from Australia, against George Bush from America.
The arena will be the White House.
George immediately telephones the Secret Service agents to arrest the Croc hunter, until his phone is eaten by the Croc. Steve immediately gets into a fight with Bush, until the Secret Service agents enter the room. The crocodile blocks their way, but is quickly shot to death. Immediately, Steve Irwin is arrested, until a large stingray falls from the sky, stings him, and kills him due to that being the way he died in real life.
GEORGE BUSH MOVES ON TO THE SEMI-FINALS!!!
Okay, our heats are done with, and since Jack also has a spot with Oh! I'm Dizzy!!!, Here are the semis:
George Bush driving Oh! I'm Dizzy!!! vs Kody's Retired Robots
Dave Mustaine vs Male Kram
Tactics, predictions, etc...
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