Pussycat vs. Talkie Toaster

House fighters are Cortez & The Sickness.

The toaster is ready to serve the cat a fresh helping of pain, but unfortunately the cat is far quicker. The toaster then reminds Kody that pain is also French for bread, and that is what he is serving to the cat toasted. The cat recoils in disgust at the warm, steaming slices of toast in front of him and leaps at the toaster, but as the claws attach to the armour of the toaster it yowls and leaps back in anguish as the heat given off hits the cats soft pads and burns them. Hissing, the cat tries again, and again is thrown back by the heat. The cat then tries a different tack; he swipes the pieces of toast at the Toaster, which surpisingly knock it over. The Toaster is now helpless to do anything and the cat tears off the bottom and smashes up the controls inside. What a waste of beautiful machinery.

Pussycat advances to Round 4!!

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Pee-Wee Herman vs. Black Mage

House fighters are Hamlet & Big Mac.

The Black Mage immediately blasts a wave of blue energy at Pee-wee but it bounces off him almost as instantly. This is most puzzling, but it gets even worse when he takes out a tricycle and starts riding around in circles. Black Mage is also confused, but snapping out of his reverie calls down a huge flaming meteor shower on the arena. Again the attack is repelled. No one really knows whats going on, but its worse for Black Mage because he cant really figure out how to defeat Pee-wee. Which is just fine for Pee-wee as he rides right into Black Mage and...stops. Not good. Black Mage whacks Pee-wee in the head with his staff. This actually hits him and Pee-wee goes sprawling backwards. Now Black Mage realizes: hes not affected by special attacks because they dont exist in his world, but of course you can beat them up physically. He runs over to Pee-wee before he can recover, but its too late: Pee-wee gets and flees. The run-as-fast-as-you-can theme starts up, and we are treated to 15 full minutes of non-stop chasing, in which the Black Mage finally catches Pee-wee and hurls him to the ground. Pee-wee turns and, grabbing Black Mages weapon thrusts the head in his face. Suddenly there is a brilliantly colourful flash of light and when it fades, the Black Mage has disappeared. Only the writer knows where he is, but thats for another tale.

Pee-wee Herman advances to Round 4!!

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Chuck Norris vs. The Grim Reaper

House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.

Chuck Norris has won his last two fights and is feeling pretty sure of himself as the Grim Reaper walks in, his chilling presence felt by the audience. Chuck Norris leaps forward and attempts a dive-bomb in the ground, but of course he doesnt realize that the blade of Grims scythe has entered Chucks vitals and burned his body up completely. Everybody stares at the quickness of the match...but wait, its not over yet. The ashes of the body are reforming, and the form of Chuck Norris stands strong once more. Chuck Norris is a hero, and therefore he cannot be killed before his time. However Grim is really distraught by this, but he doesnt have time to think it over because Chucks left fist is inches from his skull. Grims skull explodes and Chuck Norris rises up after the strike and bows. But of course you cant kill the Grim Reaper either; its technologically impossible. Grim reforms his head and puts it back on. So unfortunately the fight continues in the same trend until Kody gets so tired of the fight that he just pounds the button that tilts the arena about 90 degrees downwards. Both fighters are thrown downwards, but it was Chuck Norris who fell first, so The Grim Reaper advances on.

The Grim Reaper advances to Round 4!!