Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[kodster]

Beavis vs. Slipknot

House fighters are Cortez & The Sickness.

The fighters immediately square off. Its unfortunate that Kody forgets he used near-invisible ink for the entire fight so it goes like this:

Beaviswinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnsthankstoarand omoccurenceinwhichSlipknotfall intoaseriesofplotholesthatspitthemoutinpiecestosma llforeventhatmouseinthatChrist masrhymeIdunnoIwasntinspiredsosueme.

Beavis advances to round 3!

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Fifi LaFume vs. A bowl of custard

House fighter is the Watcher.

The skunk grabs the bowl of custard and inserts her foul-smelling fumes into the sticky substance however this doesnt work because, of course, it cant smell. However, itdoes smell, in one word of the sense, in which the custard itself stinks, or else that the custard has a smelling sense. However The Watcher cant decide between the two and calls upon the other house fighters to see whats going on. Cortez enters the arena and squashes Fifi flat with his foot. Obelix engulfs the custard but upchucks it because thanks to the smell, its rotten. But since Fifi was squashed...

A bowl of custard advances to Round 3!

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Pee-wee Herman vs. Rusty nail

House fighters are Ancalagon and Big Mac.

The nail is back in the hood, with his bling-bling shades and pimp jacket, rich from the lawsuit that expired Michael Jackson. Pee-Wee trips on the floor and sees the nail in front of him. Hes confused. The nail just sits there. They realize that they are really popular. In fact, neither party realize that the other is the enemy. So they decide to make their own show called the Pee-Wee & Nail Late Late Show in which they discuss shows that really suck and other stuff. Unfortunately as all good things do, after a time the show goes down in ratings and Pee-Wee blames the nail for it. The nail tries to argue but without another word Pee-Wee grabs the nail and hurls it into Mario de Jonghs workshop where he is somehow able to take it apart and turn it into a mini-blender.

Pee-Wee Herman advances to Round 3!

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Mara Jade Skywalker vs. A goth who wields a tanto

House fighters are Obelix & Exa-Gore-Ic.

The two blade wielders meet in epic fashion. The Jedi Knight hurls aloft her light saber but the goth meets the swing with his tanto. Unfortunately for him tantos are no match for light sabers as they can cut through any metal except the arena floor which is invincible now to any kind of assault. The goth screams and runs away but Mara Jade is in hot pursuit. But as we all know goths dont scream unless theyre headbanging, therefore the entire last sentence was completely void. This also means that Mara Jade hasnt bothered to chase the goth, shes chatting with Exa-Gore-Ic. It seems a lot of the fighters in this tournament seem to think they can get along with the house fighters. However its not the case for Mara Jade as Exa-Gore-Ic gets tired of her flapping mouth and implodes just for the heck of it.

A goth who wields a Tanto advances to Round 3!

Will finish up the bracket later today.

[leorcc]

Turning a rusty nail into a mini blender. Interesting and not so hygenic idea.

[kodster]

Hehe.

Time for Round 2 to be finished.

Ichigo Kurosaki vs. Bun-Bun

House fighters are Tira & The Sickness.

Youd think a big sword would be able to get rid of an annoying creature like Bun-Bun, right? Well, youre right, cause that big blade looks really sharp. Bun-Bun the rabbit squeals and bolts. However Ichigo knows that hell be arrested by the RSPCA if he lays one atom of the blade on Bun-Bun. So he decides to chase Bun-Bun into a house fighter. Bun-Bun never really fought in the ATTTWI before because of Kiki impersonating her and earning her a bye into the next round, so she doesnt know what to expect. This proves to be her demise, because in this tournament, people are supposed to expect something false to happen, not be afraid of the unknown happening, which is exactly what is happening to Bun-Bun. Suddenly Mr. Stu falls out of the sky and crushes Bun-Bun randomly. Everybody is confused, and a huge argument begins, eventually degenrating into an all-out brawl, with furniture flying, in which Stu escapes unscathed. Ichigo raises an eyebrow at this pathetic sight.

Ichigo Kurosaki advances to Round 3!

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Shadehawk vs. A stingray

House fighters are Big Mac & Asterix.

Shadehawk leaps at the stingray and snares it but due to the sea creautres oily skin it slips from his grasp and lashes its tail at his feet. Shadehawk cries out in pain and stumbles, dropping right onto his face. The stingray isnt too happy though; hes supposed to be in water. It seems that the narrator was too lazy to buy a new tank filled with water. Kody smacks the narrator upside the head. Ow. Anyway Shadehawk again advances on the stingray, who is about to suffocate due to lack of air when suddenly the call of the Big Mac is heard. The stingray moves over slowly to the house fighter and devours it. It takes a long time for the stingray to eat Big Mac but thats good because youre supposed to savour every bite. Therefore this benefits the stingray and all of a sudden the stingray mutates into a cyborg shark creature with prosthetic legs and feet. Shadehawk recoils, repulsed by this horrid sight. Finally being able to survive on dry land, the cyborg shark grabs the anti-hero by the throat and beats him up and down the arena, and then throws him at Asterix. The gaul aims a solid punch right into Shadehawks forehead, resulting in his skull cracking and his eyeballs to pop out of his head. Suddenly the creature reverts back to the stingray. Guess it was only a one-time deal. The narrator, getting a threatening look from Kody (and Martijn), hurries over to the stingray and carries him off to Sea World.

A stingray advances to Round 3!

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A gold pocketwatch vs. Homer Simpson

House fighters are Taki & Hamlet.

Homer drools. Hes probably thinking of food or something like that. The pocketwatch is back together, even more catching than before, but still its the most damage incapable of Melissas entries. However Homer isnt too focused on the battle either. In fact it looks like hes fallen asleep in the standing position. How appropriate. Once again we call on the house fighters to help. Taki isnt listening; shes still not finished her martini from the last battle she was patrolling. Hamlet, however, jumps into battle immediately and...stops. He looks at the pocketwatch, picks it up...and then throws it at Homers head. The impact hardly does anything rather than cause a slight pause in his snoring, but the watch itself hits the ground. But surprisingly it withstands the fall and lies harmlessly on the ground. This happens to wake Homer up though. Without thinking he stumbles forward, and steps on the watch, crushing it completely. Hamlet groans; he was testing the toughness of the watch but there wasnt any need to. Homer slips on the broken watch and thuds against the ground, hard. The watch is buried beneath his massive weight. Taki is finished her drink and tosses it off the edge where it is sucked up by the vortex, and shrugs. Hamlet, for the sake of the watch, beats the daylights out of Homer.

But Homer Simpson advances to Round 3!

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And the last fight of Round 2...

Pussycat vs. Danish cartoonist

The Watcher is the house fighter.

The cat is in a badly-drawn (with ink) comic strip; hes getting chased by some Rottweilers and, for some strange reason, Collies, who are generally very friendly with other animals, but maybe just want some action. Anyway the cat climbs up the tree but the tree is only partly drawn; the branches are missing. The cat goes flying over the tree and back onto the grass, but now there is no grass; its all bare ground. The cat races across the ground and finds a fence that is broken in some places. He flies through one of the ripped holes, in which one of the Rottweilers barrels through but instead takes out the entire fence; due to it being so flimsy it breaks apart owing to the strength of the mutt and the force that it used. The cat suddenly comes to the cliff. It turns and sees the dogs coming, and fear surges through it. Suddenly the scene pauses, for the cartoonist doesnt know how to end it. However, the cat looks around: everythings frozen in time except him. This is strange, and the cat shakes this off and spots the cartoonist sitting by a badly-drawn tree. The cat springs upon him yowling, and he cant defend himself as he is brutally torn to pieces to the claws and teeth of the cat.

Pussycat advances to Round 3!

Round 3 line-ups in a sec.

[kodster]

Round 2 winners

Talkie Toaster
Kenshiro
Violent J
The Grim Reaper
Diotoir
St. Lucifer
Google
Black Mage
XS3
Full Metal Alchemist
Dr. Ivo Robotnik
Seong Mi-Na
Chuck Norris
Master Hand
Samus Aran
Mini-Fridge
Blaze Ya Dead Homie
Ming Higurashi
Hammer Brother
Foxpig
Lord DoomForAll
Professor Vengeance
Beavis
A bowl of custard
Pee-Wee Herman
A goth who wields a Tanto
Ichigo Kurosaki
A stingray
Homer Simpson
Pussycat

Round 3

Full Metal Alchemist vs. Hammer Brother
Professor Vengeance vs. Seong Mi-Na
Diotoir vs. A goth who wields a Tanto
Kenshiro vs. Foxpig
Violent J vs. XS3
Beavis vs. Samus Aran
Ming Higurashi vs. Google
Lord DoomForAll vs. Master Hand
Pussycat vs. Talkie Toaster
Pee-Wee Herman vs. Black Mage
Chuck Norris vs. The Grim Reaper
Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. Homer Simpson
A stingray vs. St. Lucifer
Ichigo Kurosaki vs. A bowl of custard
Blaze Ya Dead Homie vs. Mini-Fridge

This time Ill need some tactics, as I use them for fillers. Please.

[leorcc]

Cool! XS3 is a wrestler right? So is Violent J. (JCW and former WWF).

[pcbore]

Pussycat doesnt eat toast or bread products of any description, which would cause the toaster to throw a massive sulk. How things go from there I dont know

Black Mage solves this problem the way he solves every other: Hadoken!

[steven_mcg]

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 3
PROFESSOR VENGEANCE VS Seung Mi-Na

Expect no sympathy towards my opponent here. The Prof is strictly a pirate man. :wink:
Fistfights have never exactly been the Profs forte, so Im thinking a random mech suit should do the job here (Maybe with a nice layer of adamantium armour. Try slashing that with your Scarlet Thunder blade.) Basically, either try to crush her or fling her into the loving arms of a House Fighter.
If the mech suit doesnt work, switch the cane to Sword Mode and take the plunge with a fencing match.