Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[inuangel2007]

Woo hoo, I won, I won, I WON!!!

-does Happy Dance-
Told you to rethink your tactics Steve.
ON OT THE NEXT ROUND!!!

[kodster]

=P

Dont count Prof. Vengeance out.

Next fights up later today.

[kodster]

Slappy Squirrel vs. Hammer Brother

House fighter is the Watcher.

Slappy Squirrel is not at the arena; rather, shes in a video game where you must jump and spit fireballs. Apparently mushrooms make you big, and some of them give you an extra life. Enemies include walking mushrooms with feet, and turtles with giant heads. Slappy begins the first level and is killed by the Goomba instantly, losing one of her three lives. She takes out an anvil when she returns and throws it at the Goomba, killing it as instantly. She jumps and hits a ? block, causing a mushroom to pop out. Unfortunately Slappy hates mushrooms so she blasts it to pieces. She makes it all the way to World 8-3, only losing one more life thanks to falling in the lava in World 4-4 after ducking away from the fire flower that fell. Suddenly shes face to face with her real opponent, the Hammer Brother from the ATTTWI. A crazy battle scene ensues, in which Slappy is utterly defeated and calls upon the Watcher, who is on top of a ? block, to help. The Watcher calls Asterix, but Asterix, once again displaying his kindness for nature, explains to the Watcher that the squirrel and erect-walking turtle are endangered species and that he wont hurt them unless they attack first. So, of course, the Hammer Bro. throws a hammer at Asterix behind his back. It does little except angering the gaul, and he demands to know who threw it. The Bro. points at Slappy, who is tackled in a mid-dive at the Hammer Brother and, after being stomped senseless and hit with random objects including a deep-frying machine, is sent to the Roadkill Cafe to be served on a platter with buffalo chips.

Hammer Brother advances to Round 3!

----

Tekkaman vs. Foxpig

House fighters are Obelix and Asterix.

Tekkaman readies his blasters, however the foxpig is randomly chasing his tail. Tekkaman wonders at this but then fires his guns and blasts the foxpig to Kingdom Come. However, many people have said that Kingdom Come actually exists. Some people dont, and use it lightly in jokes. Well this comes back to haunt them as suddenly a huge castle and grassy surroundings appears somewhere in the galaxy, protected by a biosphere, into which the foxpig is blasted. The sphere doesnt break; rather, it absorbs the hybrid into itself, and the foxpig lands on the grass. Tekkaman lifts off from the ground and blasts away after his adversary, however Kingdom Come is a magical place where anything extremely awesome and good can happen, especially for foxpigs, and so the hybrid suddenly develops super strength, speed, agility, and one heck of a bite. Tekkaman lunges forward but suddenly he gets the air knocked out of him by an incoming animal known as Super Foxpig. Tekkaman aims his blaster at the superpowered hybrid however Super Foxpig flies at it and chews it off and swallows it. Not only is Foxpig super strong, but so is his disgestive system. Tekkaman is horrified, but thats only the beginning. Super Foxpig whizzes through the air around the mech warrior, taking great big bites off of the armour. Within a few minutes all thats left of Tekkaman is his head, which Super Foxpig saves for last, and throws it into the audience, where a Piranha Plant devours it whole and dies of severe indigestion.

Foxpig advances to Round 3!

Next up: Stewie Griffin vs. Lord DoomForAll!

[alex_holt]

Yay, go Foxpig! Tactics for next round: do not be too aggressive, his plans fall apart naturally, and interfering may empower him, but still attack a bit, but not directly either as people get sorry for babies.

[kodster]

Stewie Griffin vs. Lord DoomForAll

House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.

The toddler and the supreme power of the multiverse glare at each other coldly. They are in the depths of space, and Stewie is wearing his in-expertly made space suit. And then, instantly, they act. Stewie hires some thugs to take down Lord DoomForAll; namely, these thugs are Electro, Sandman, Juggernaut, etc. but Lord DoomForAll takes control of some superheroes such as Sipder-Man, Cyclops, and Hulk, and they have a huge fight in space. Unfortunately its really cold in space and only Juggernaut survives while the others freeze to death. But of course killing off these characters causes second-rate heroes to be placed in their niche, and so Ben Reilly (Scarlet Spider) comes in wearing a cosmic guise and attacks Juggernaut fiercely, beating the crap out of him. But being a hero Ben decides to take on Stewie AND DoomForAll, and in the ensuing chaos the guise is destroyed and Ben Reilly freezes to death. Stan Lee is uncomfortable at this moment, and decides to retire from creating superheroes, and is booed all the way back to his home. Unfortunately for him, Venom appears and hugs him for not wanting to bring Spidey back, and this snaps Lees spine. Venom shrugs and walks away. Back at the real fight, Stewie fires his carbonite gun at DoomForAll, and surprisingly it works, freezing the multioverlord in a block of frozen CO3. Poor Stewie doesnt realize that carbonite is weak compared to the infinite power of the DoomForAll and it breaks apart completely, showing the Lord in all his form. BLAST! cries the Griffin and tries to get away but Lord DoomForAll teleports him to the nearby galaxy evil nursery which is like a prison only for babies. The Lord smirks unpleasantly before teleimploding himself to the other end of the universe, because that is his lair.

Lord DoomForAll (easily) advances to Round 3!

Next fight: Professor Vengeance vs. Jack the Ripper!

[steven_mcg]

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 2
Jack the Ripper VS PROFESSOR VENGEANCE

To this day, the true identity of Jack the Ripper is an enigma, so Im not even sure who Im fighting in this round. A man, a woman, a demon from another dimension - who knows? So the Prof will go on the defensive and try to lure him into a House Fighters area. Whos to say Jackies even flesh and blood after all?
Also, I think the Prof would be wise to invite some particularly insane conspiracy theories along for the ride. Not only could they spill the beans on Jack the Rippers true identity, theyd also make for great distractions and cannon fodder. :wink:

[alex_holt]

I reckon Jack the Ripper probably is an alternate universe Vengeance anyways - same Victorian dress sense and love of villainy...

[pcbore]

But less global domination.

[kodster]

Hehehe...

Professor Vengeance vs. Jack the Ripper

House fighters are Taki & Tira.

Its quite startling to find that nobody knows who Jack really is, even after he sadistically defeated Clover last round. Prof. Vengeance swirls his cape around dramatically, and thrusts out his trusty cane. The deranged surgeon just stands there smiling his evil smile. All of a sudden, the cane ignites with a green flare as thousands of chaos emeralds explode with incredible energy. However, his enemy is motionless, still with the sinister smirk on his face. Prof. Vengeance then circles Jack, like in a fencing match, with the cane outwards, pointing at Jack. Lining up his target with Tira, Vengeance suddenly lunges forward, and the cane impales Jack through the midsection and a bright ball of light explodes through it, and Jack is gauged off of the cane and lands in front of Tira. Prof. Vengeance smirks, knowing that Tira will get the better of Jack and destroy him, but it is not so, however. Tira indeed comes forward ready to send Jack to the land down under (the narrator is fried by Aaron Knight whom Kody throws a chair at while he runs away sniggering), but Jack suddenly reveals his true form; its a giant flag of Holland! Even though Tira is a maniacal killer who attacks first and asks questions later, she was born in Holland and therefore must stand up for her nationality. Martijn is appalled that such a fiend could be born there, but he runs away knowing that the scene here is going to be very violent. Tira turns viciously upon Vengeance and before the Professor can raise his cane a tenth of an inch swats it away with her ring blade, and it skids off the platform and out of sight below. Prof. Vengeance retracts his hand in pain but Tira isnt letting up, bodyslamming him to the ground. Vengeance knows what he must do. He produces a phial of blue liquid and drains it. Instantly, superhuman power courses through his veins, and the Professor rises up, glaring at the girl. Tira charges, and Vengeance meets it with a boot to the face. Taki watches with interest from her folded chair, and after a moments pause grabs her martini and slurps it. Jack the Holland flag levitates above the floor and glides over to Vengeance who is laying the hurt on Tira badly. Vengeance looks around too late, and Jack smothers him, wrapping around him and choking him. Tira, panting, stumbles trying to get up and falls back over, KOD. Jack almost has Vengeance when the Professor finally is able to contact his minions. A few androids fly into the arena. All of them have flamethrowers, and they burn the flag completely, Vengeance tearing it off mid-way through the process. Now all thats left of it is ashes. Professor Vengeance is relieved, and he goes into the audience and waits for the next fight. Martijn, for some strange reason, goes back into the arena and exits, scooping Tira up as he does so. Taki takes another generous sip of martini idly.

Professor Vengeance advances to Round 3!

[steven_mcg]

Huzzah and hoorah! As the saying goes, Vengeance is mine!

A.T.T.T.W.I.
ROUND 2
A bowl of custard VS FIFI LAFUME

Boiling, self-replicating custard. How do we come up with this stuff?
Anyways, providing this yellow peril can actually smell, Fifi will once again go on the offence with the tail and skunk-juice the custard beast to high heaven. If that doesnt work (which it almost certainly wont), Fifi will call upon one of her good friends at Acme Looniversity to help out - Mr Dizzy Devil. If he can eat furnature without a single cramp, he can eat my custardy challenger here with little problems.
And if that dont work, she can always just roll around in the custard and try to attract a mate. Shell want to get something out of this tournament.