Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[dinowarrior]

ROUND 2 TACTICS

SQUIDWARD: Play that clarinet! Possibly go into a big rant if someone calls him a squid (hes officially an octopus, surprisingly enough)

HIPPOPOTAMUS: Charge, mouth open and try to crush it.

MINI FRIDGE: Hide some rum inside, then once the pirate grabs it, HAMMER IT!!

CUSTARD: Custard has no sense of smell. Work it out from there.

HOMER: Smash the pocketwatch. Whether he does this intentionally or accidently is up to you.

[majinb]

Zinedine Zidane...

HEADBUTT!

[leorcc]

Violent Js tactics,invoke the power of the dark carnival, and wield the hatchet.

[almost_there]

Kenshiros Tactics. Hope that Squidward has pressure points, but otherwise just kick him/stamp on him a lot.

Diotoirs tactics. Set on fire, so that when Zidane headbutts Diotoir, hopefully his head will burn up.

[dogbot4000]

Hopefully the army of Cyberman will win.

[kodster]

Round 2

Talkie Toaster vs. A can of Barqs root beer

House fighters are Ancalagon & Asterix.

The toaster, which somehow grew wheels during the intermission, trundles over to the can of root beer and tips it over. Unfortunately the toaster forgot that the can was closed, so nothing really happens. All of a sudden a large meteorite crashes into the arena and obliterates both competitors. Kody is rather amused by this sight, on account of he was the one who caused it to happen. The narrator shakes his head and returns to commentating the fight. But what fight? The meteorite seems to have destroyed them both, and taken out nearly all of the arena as well. Ancalagon scoops up the space rock and hurls it across the galaxy, resulting in it colliding with the core of a nebula and imploding it, which also results in pretty colours for organisms 1 million miles away and over, and fiery death for organisms 50,000 miles away...and under. Now that the meteorite has been demolished, we can see the remains of the competitors. However, although the Talkie Toaster has been squished, the voicebox manages to send out one word Ouch. whereas the can of root beer is flattened, covered in its own contents.

Talkie Toaster advances to Round 3!

----

(we take a commercial break to repair the arena and find that Simon Cowell is dancing on it whilst returning. GET OUTTA HERE, YA MANGY GIT!!!)

Kenshiro vs. Squidward Tentacles

House fighters are Exa-Gore-Ic and Tira.

Kenshiro raises a foot and stomps like a sumo wrestler, causing the Spongebob character to lose his balance and topple onto his face. Unfortunately for Squidward he just happened to leave his clarinet on the ground in front of him, and he falls on it. This causes the clarinet to be forced down his throat, suffocating him. Kenshiro decides to show compassion towards Squidward, and performing the Heimlich Maneouver successfully manages to extricate the musical instrument from Squidwards throat. However Kenshiro forgot that he, himself, is one of the strongest men in the universe, and that using that particular move on Squidward crushed his lungs and spine. The limp form of the sea dweller collapses to the ground, passing away and being forgotten by everybody. The clarinet was supposed to be frozen in time but a random hobo threw it in a incinerator and now it is lost forever. Big deal.

Kenshiro advances to Round 3!

----

Violent The Wraith J vs. Hobbes

House fighters are Hamlet and Obelix.

Violent J leers at Hobbes, thinking that nothing can defeat him in this new form. Before the match Leo asked him if he could use the power of the dark carnival in this upcoming match. Violent J agreed to this and with a wave of his hand suddenly Final Destination becomes a horror-filled theme park. Hobbes cries out in terror before running away like a kitten with its tail between its legs. Violent J is enheartened with glee by the cowardice of the tiger and pursues him with a great big dirty hatchet. Hobbes enters a ride called Temple of Doom, which is more or less like a roller coaster with flamethrowers, truncheons, lawyers posing as salespeople, and millions of other obscenities. Violent J, rather than continuing his pursuit of his victim, simply waits at the entrance for the ride to end. Soon Hobbes is completely white and shaking, eyes bulging with fear. He goes over a loop-de-loop and falls out of his seat only to fall back in as the ride ends. Violent J readies the hatchet and as the car passes one swipe of the weapon confirms that Hobbes has really, er, lost his head, and the match.

Violent The Wraith J advances to Round 3!

[leorcc]

Woohoo! Very cool stuff.

[lex]

Im a bit upset about the toaster getting squashed! Glad it won though...
I really shouldve made The Savage Toaster more like Talkie Toaster- fairly easy flat sides. Early sketches of TST did look like that, and if Id stuck with it we might actually have got it ready for RW. Get Talkie fixed or rebuilt for the next round!

[pcbore]

Maybe, but high-ish, flat sides in a flipper filled environment is asking for trouble

[lex]

True enough, which is why Ka-Pow! is a fairly normal low wedge. Theres no real way The Savage Toaster would have won much but it wouldve been nice to see it on RW...