Yay! More fights!

Sociology vs. Beavis

House fighters are Hamlet and Asterix.

Beavis, to put it bluntly, isnt too smart. In fact, if you put a maggot beside him, the worms SAT score would double Beavis. Therefore neither of the house fighters can figure out how he can possibly defeat one of the hardest and most irritating subjects of university. Beavis gets a piece of paper and studies it for a second. Then he immediately sticks it in his mouth and eats it, wiping his face with a vegetarian pizza. Unfortunately that was Hamlets pizza and so Hamlet walks over to Beavis and belts him in the back of the head with the hilt of his rapier. Beavis is knocked out cold and hits the floor.
Just I am about to declare Sociology the winner, Beavis eyes flicker open. He gets up, brushes himself off, pulls out a book and begins reading. Within seconds he is talking to Hamlet who decides not to tell Beavis about the blow. Stunningly, the blow from the rapier has given Beavis a big jolt of intellect. Hamlet and Beavis discontinue their conversation and Hamlet disappears.
Suddenly, Hamlet reappears holding a rock. Beavis takes it from Hamlet and looks at it. Then he throws it off of the stage and declares himself the winner. The audience is extremely confused, but Hamlet lets them know what happened.
I went back in time, and changed their names. So now Rock is a subject taken at university and Sociology is a piece of earth.
In the audience, Steven McGregor scribbles out the subject name Sociology and puts beside it Rock.

Beavis advances to Round 2!

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Professor Vengeance vs. A half-eaten bacon sandwich

House fighter is The Watcher.

The Profs cape swirls menacingly as he comes into the arena, power surging through his veins. At the end of the arena he espies a lone sandwich, half-aten, with bacon sticking out. Prof. Vengeance raises an eyebrow at this rather pathetic sight, and then grabs his trusty cane to burn the sandwich to ashes.
All of a sudden, there is a cry in the audience. The Prof. turns around to see one of the house fighters bouncing into the arena. Its Big Mac, and for another sandwich, he sure looks mad. He complains to the Prof. that the sandwich right there was his long-lost sister and that he couldnt possibly destroy one of his family or hes kill him. Vengeance laughs at him and sets the cane to flamethrower mode. Big Mac speaks to The Watcher. The Watcher then lets out a deadly, shrill cry from his three heads.
Suddenly Prof. Vengeance turns to see all of the house fighters surrounding him, except Big Mac, who is guarding his apparent sister. Vengeance laughs no more, but keeps his eyes fixed upon his enemies, his cane at the ready. Cortez is the first to break the silence, lunging at the Prof. with his sabre. Vengeance parries the blow seeing Cortez is invulnerable. He blasts Taki out of the way with a zap from his cane but Tira grabs him from behind and pins him. Just as Ancalagon is about to step on him, there is a yell from Big Mac. Ancalagon flew forwards too fast and the mighty beat of his wings sent the bacon sandwich flying into space. Ancalagon is arrested by the dragon police, but breaks out a day later. The other house fighters release Prof. Venegance, who glares at them coldly and walks away, his cape swishing around him.

Professor Vengeance advances to Round 2!

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Slipknot vs. The most harmless, cute and innocent thing in the universe

House fighters are Tira and Cortez.

The most harmless, cute, and innocent thing in the universe sits there. No one knows what it is, or what it does. Corey Taylor, lead vocalist of Slipknot, motions to his band to start playing Duality, but something stops them. Apparently they cant play such a violent song in front of this thing, whatever it may be. Suddenly, the thing says I love you. in a extremely cute voice. Slipknot twitch at hearing this comment, and Corey Taylor goes to stomp it. Be my friend, says the thing, and Taylor falls backwards, breathing hard. A dark soul like his cannot endure this onslaught of friendly statements. The entire band run up to defend their leader but the cute thing replies Well be best friends. The band scream in agony, and fall backwards like Taylor, holding their heads in agony. The cute thing continues its verbal assault. Just as Slipknots ears start to bleed, Tira runs up and grabs the thing, sealing its mouth shut. There is a slight pause as everyone looks at Tira. Tira grins evilly and goes under a large cardboard box, taking the thing with her. Loud ripping and tearing sounds come from under the box, and a second later Tira gets out, and smiles at the crowd, stuffing in her mouth. It seemed that the most harmless, cute, and innocent thing in the universe was just a stuffed teddy bear.

Slipknot advance to Round 2!