Norbert the rabies infected cat vs. Blaze Ya Dead Homie

House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.

The cat, namely a Siamese, has already attacked Blaze, scratching and biting like mad. Norbert touches Blaze and they engage in an RPG match. Erhem...

*cheesy RPG music*

NORBERT
HP: 25/25

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE
HP: 25/25

NORBERT USES SCRATCH.
BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE TAKES 1 DAMAGE.

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE USES STOMP.
NORBERT TAKES 5 DAMAGE.

NORBERT
HP: 20/25

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE
HP: 24/25

NORBERT USES HOWL.
NORBERTS ATTACK ROSE!

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE USES STUPID GUN ON NORBERT.
NORBERT BECOMES STUPID.

NORBERT IS STUPID.
NORBERT TRIPS OVER HIS TAIL AND CAUSES 5 DAMAGE TO HIMSELF.

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE USES SHOT GUN.
NORBERT TAKES 1,000,000,000,000 DAMAGE.

NORBERT
HP: 0/25

BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE
HP: 24/25

Blaze Ya Dead Homie advances to Round 2!

----

Rabies prawn vs. Black Mage

House fighter is The Watcher.

The prawn leaps forward like the cat did, but this time an RPG battle does not occur. Instead, its a real-time strategy battle!

Black Mage directs his forces, namely M.A.R.T.A.Ns, towards the prawn, who attacks without warning. M.A.R.T.A.Ns of course are stupid and they kill each other over a pie that was placed by Fighter nearby. Black Mage decides to play cheesy. KAMEHAMEHA! he cries and destroys the prawn with a single blast, obliterating not only the prawn but Fighter and the M.A.R.T.A.N bodies as well. However as we all know, in RTS games to kill off an opponent you must destroy the enemy stronghold too or they will regenerate. Really? Thanks, says Black Mage to the narrator. Darn it. I mean...uh...Black Mage finds the stronghold nearby: a tree. A huge tree. A tree bigger than that giant Black Mage and Fighter fought some time ago...suddenly the prawn appears, about 10x as big as it was before. Black Mage wonders why rabies-infected shrimps live in huge trees, and especially big ones, but while hes thinking this the prawn pounces on him and pins him to the ground. Its about to bite into him when Black Mage summons the power of 100 White Mages which, with a wave of their staffs, summon a gigantic blast of white fire which incinerate the tree and the prawn in one fell swoop. They forgot, hopwever, that Black Mage got caught in the fire, but since his stronghold, a majestic castle, is nearby, they dont need to worry. Black Mage re-enters the scene a second later, and pays one of the White Mages about 10 pounds for the quick appearance.

Black Mage advances to Round 2!