Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

[leorcc]

Wrestling fights are rigged anyway.

[kodster]

Lord DoomForAll vs. Master Hand

House fighters are Taki & Tira.

Master Hand wanders the arena and sees two women hanging around on the platform. One of them, Tira, he recognizes as the one he captured before before his opponent rescued her. He decides to use them for target practice while waiting for DoomForAll to show up, and fires a round of Bombshell Bills at them. Taki and Tira scream and run around trying to avoid the bullets but eventually they get hit and are blasted away off of Final Destination. A commanding voice bellows across the field.
HALT.
Master Hands attention is caught by a small thing in the air. It appears to be a rip in the fabric of the universe. It grows wider and wider, and a figure pops out. It is indeed the Lord DoomForAll himself, and he slowly drifts to the opposite end of the arena, suspended about 25 feet above it. Master Hand is quiet. He knows how powerful Lord DoomForAll is, but isnt going to surrender anyway. Lord DoomForAll turns his head a quarter of a degree, and then with a single motion of his hand, Taki and Tira immediately cease falling, and floating up to the platform are placed on their feet. Then the battle begins. Lord DoomForAll immediately exudes a blast from his trusty rift staff. Master Hand, amazingly, catches it and hurls it back, but DoomForAll absorbs it back into the staff. Master Hand curls himself up into a fist before the absorbtion and rockets straight towards DoomForAll, who disapparates in a cloud of ash. Master Hand scatters the ash and turns this way and that attempting to locate his quarry when something tells him he doesnt need to. Realizing what is about to happen he jets away as fast as can possibly can, just as Lord DoomForAll appears right where he was previously. Master Hand ducks down like a spaceship and fires some more Bombshell Bills at the Lord but DoomForAll moves away causing the missiles to fly away into the distance and create craters on a far-away planet. DoomForAll has had enough fooling around and holds his own hand in front of him, and Master Hand pauses. Then, quite suddenly, his fingers and thumb begin to curl inward on their own will. No, not on their own will, for DoomForAlls own hand is clenching, almost into a fist, and then, taps it with the other, and opens the first hand. Master Hand is stuck in a slightly ridiculous position, seemingly having arthritis. The audience is half-amused, half-deathly afraid, and do not know whether to laugh or scream and run. DoomForAll seems pleased, but what he wasnt intending was a bright blue beam of light emanating from Master Hands index finger, striking DoomForAll in the right hand that the rift staff is now in. DoomForAll yells and drops the rift staff, which clatters on the platform. Pain indescribable shoots through DoomForAlls right hand, and the stricken Lord falls slowly to the floor, staring in anguish and wonder at his wounded appendage. Master Hand balls up into a fist again, and charges at the fallen Lord DoomForAll, who is still occupied with the pain in his hand. He doesnt even resist, or look up to the incoming white gloved fist gaining acceleration, and reaching him...and suddenly, the house fighters desire vengeance and attack the Hand. Taki and Tira leap up and perform a perfect synchronized upward kick to the lower palm of Master Hand, who veers of course by the surprise attack and misses DoomForAll by a mile. In rage he spins around and comes down upon the house fighters, but DoomForAll has now recovered from his ugly moment of agony and, seeing the situation, calls his rift staff up again and lets fly with a giant burst of cosmic energy, which contacts Master Hand and instantly devours him in a nova-like blast. When the smoke clears...theres nothing there. Nobody knows whether Master Hand survived the blast and fled, or not. The point is that hes not there anymore, so Lord DoomForAll is declared the winner. DoomForAll, with a rather awkward smirk, thanks Taki and Tira for their interference.

Lord DoomForAll advances to Round 4!!

(Message edited by kodster on June 04, 2007)

[inuangel2007]

Im so happy Ming made it to Round 4... Im excited to see whom she will face next.

[kodster]

Pussycat vs. Talkie Toaster

House fighters are Cortez & The Sickness.

The toaster is ready to serve the cat a fresh helping of pain, but unfortunately the cat is far quicker. The toaster then reminds Kody that pain is also French for bread, and that is what he is serving to the cat toasted. The cat recoils in disgust at the warm, steaming slices of toast in front of him and leaps at the toaster, but as the claws attach to the armour of the toaster it yowls and leaps back in anguish as the heat given off hits the cats soft pads and burns them. Hissing, the cat tries again, and again is thrown back by the heat. The cat then tries a different tack; he swipes the pieces of toast at the Toaster, which surpisingly knock it over. The Toaster is now helpless to do anything and the cat tears off the bottom and smashes up the controls inside. What a waste of beautiful machinery.

Pussycat advances to Round 4!!

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Pee-Wee Herman vs. Black Mage

House fighters are Hamlet & Big Mac.

The Black Mage immediately blasts a wave of blue energy at Pee-wee but it bounces off him almost as instantly. This is most puzzling, but it gets even worse when he takes out a tricycle and starts riding around in circles. Black Mage is also confused, but snapping out of his reverie calls down a huge flaming meteor shower on the arena. Again the attack is repelled. No one really knows whats going on, but its worse for Black Mage because he cant really figure out how to defeat Pee-wee. Which is just fine for Pee-wee as he rides right into Black Mage and...stops. Not good. Black Mage whacks Pee-wee in the head with his staff. This actually hits him and Pee-wee goes sprawling backwards. Now Black Mage realizes: hes not affected by special attacks because they dont exist in his world, but of course you can beat them up physically. He runs over to Pee-wee before he can recover, but its too late: Pee-wee gets and flees. The run-as-fast-as-you-can theme starts up, and we are treated to 15 full minutes of non-stop chasing, in which the Black Mage finally catches Pee-wee and hurls him to the ground. Pee-wee turns and, grabbing Black Mages weapon thrusts the head in his face. Suddenly there is a brilliantly colourful flash of light and when it fades, the Black Mage has disappeared. Only the writer knows where he is, but thats for another tale.

Pee-wee Herman advances to Round 4!!

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Chuck Norris vs. The Grim Reaper

House fighters are Ancalagon and Exa-Gore-Ic.

Chuck Norris has won his last two fights and is feeling pretty sure of himself as the Grim Reaper walks in, his chilling presence felt by the audience. Chuck Norris leaps forward and attempts a dive-bomb in the ground, but of course he doesnt realize that the blade of Grims scythe has entered Chucks vitals and burned his body up completely. Everybody stares at the quickness of the match...but wait, its not over yet. The ashes of the body are reforming, and the form of Chuck Norris stands strong once more. Chuck Norris is a hero, and therefore he cannot be killed before his time. However Grim is really distraught by this, but he doesnt have time to think it over because Chucks left fist is inches from his skull. Grims skull explodes and Chuck Norris rises up after the strike and bows. But of course you cant kill the Grim Reaper either; its technologically impossible. Grim reforms his head and puts it back on. So unfortunately the fight continues in the same trend until Kody gets so tired of the fight that he just pounds the button that tilts the arena about 90 degrees downwards. Both fighters are thrown downwards, but it was Chuck Norris who fell first, so The Grim Reaper advances on.

The Grim Reaper advances to Round 4!!

[kodster]

Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. Homer Simpson

The house fighter is The Watcher.

Robotnik is in his prime: hes just defeated Gods brother, so this fat, smelly, nuclear plant inspector shouldnt be any problem. Unfortunately for Robotnik Homer handles tons of machinery almost every day so hes very experienced with this sorta thing. The match begins with Robotnik sending a swarm of SWATbots towards Homer. But Homer counters with a wrench, and before the SWATbots can do anything else, Homer takes them apart completely. Seeing his SWATbot army in tatters, Robotniks rage boils and putting on his mech suit he dives at Homer and knocks him to the other side of the arena. Homer gets up, emits a battle bellow, and tackles Robotnik in the belly. But Robotniks wide stomach is his strongest point. Suddenly Homer is bounced back by the belly. Strangely, the bounce was extra powerful, and this caused Homer to be bounced all the way to the Borg mothership. Unfortunately for them, he didnt have a brain to wash, so he outlasted them all. Robotnik smiles and takes off his extra-bouncey elastic pouch that he created.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik advances to Round 4!!

Round 3 will be finished up next time.

[tacoman]

Well, unless I missed someone, Im out.

But Ill be back! Or Ill run my own Tournament! With Blackjack and hookers!

And your drug of choice! Even the hard to find ones!

And lashings of ginger beer for all!

Oh man, this is gonna be so awesome!

[pcbore]

Did someone say ginger beer? Im THERE!

[kodster]

Dont worry, Mr. Bailey, if youre lucky, ATTTWI 2 will open up. :wink:

And for the record, I had no idea that Dan T. Man was Danny Bailey until I went through the past threads a few weeks ago. I noticed his username was Tacoman, and under that username about two years ago was, hence, Danny Bailey. And all this time I thought Daniel Stickler was entering...

Anyhoo, lets finish Round 3!

A stingray vs. St. Lucifer

House fighters are Tira and Cortez.

The stingray floats around in his tank, completely unbothered by the fact that the devil himself is standing right outside the tank. Immediately Lucifer sends a blast of hellfire at the stingray but when it touches the water it flares and fades away, however it makes a gigantic turbulence that sends the stingray into the wall. Seeing this Lucifer launches blast after blast of hellfire into the tank, and the water begins to evaporate quickly. The stingray is in a very big pickle now. Suddenly the stingray vanishes. Lucifer ceases the hellfire and stares at the tank. What madness is this? Suddenly a giant pickle the size of a large submarine lands on Lucifer and knocks him out. And guess what? The stingray is riding the pickle, and sucking the moisture from it. The audience is stunned. Again. But suddenly Lucifer gets up...and smiles. He seems to be happy about something. He grabs the pickle (with the stingray sliding off of it) and eats it. Then he lies down and goes to sleep. Nobody knows how this happened, but nobody decides to do anything about it so they let the stingray go through.

A stingray advances to Round 4!!

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Ichigo Kurosaki vs. A bowl of custard

House fighters are Ancalagon and Obelix.

Due to a lack of ideas for this fight, Kody decides to flip a coin. Both parties look annoyed, although its strange because custard doesnt have a face. Ichigo chooses heads. Kody flips the coin and it lands on tails. The bowl of custard would have been happy with this result had Ichigo not smashed the bowl off the platform with his foot. All the contents of the custard and the bowl were erased from existance so therefore Ichigo, smirking, goes through.

Ichigo Kurosaki advances to Round 4!!

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Blaze Ya Dead Homie vs. Mini-Fridge

House fighters are The Sickness & Taki.

Blaze takes out his trusty shotgun; he doesnt care about whats in the fridge because he has his own personal mini-cooler back home. Unfortunately for him he didnt know that the Mini-Fridge had an internal remote which allowed him to control all electronic appliances. Suddenly several washing machines, plasma television sets, DVD recorders, computers, other fridges, and lamps surround the Psychopathic Records rapper. Blaze starts shooting them all, since they cant really do anything to him except bump into him. The Mini-Fridge backs away, but suddenly it remembers it had that metal boxing glove set in the back. The fridge door pops open and the glove shoots out, narrowly missing Blaze. Blaze aims at the fridge and fires. A plothole hits the fridge and swallows it whole. Suddenly Frank Goacher and a tiny green fellow with a curly red beard step out of the barrel of the shotgun. They complain to Blaze not to disturb them while they were finishing off their ginger beer. Frank actually smacks Blaze in the side of the head before walking towards the audience stands.

Blaze Ya Dead Homie advances to Round 4!!

Now, we have 15 competitors. A huge 15-way fight will be up in the near future.

[razerdave]

Even Lucifer needs a kip, and you put the stingray through ?

What a load of cr@p