Team Gore Presents: ATTTWI

**tacoman** · 27th May 2007, 11:34

Google tactics: I had to use Google to find out about the opponent, and thus, Google already owns them, and can summarily execute them.

Master Hand tactics:

Lord DoomForAll may be all powerful, but does he know why kids love Cookie Crunch? No,he doesnt. Master Hand does. Its because he wills them to. All he has to do is ransom the kids to fight for him, or hell dtop them loving Cookie Crunch. Id like to see Lord DoomForAmateur do anything against that!

**inuangel2007** · 28th May 2007, 13:27

For the battle versus Google, I was just planning on asking it a series of random questions rapidly (like maybe a thousand or more) and try to make it overload and go offline. If that doesnt work.... just asking it the true value of Pi.

Porfessor Vengence, on the other hand, is not going to be so easy. Reading his profile, I can tell its going to be hard to defeat him but, Seung Mi-Na never gives up. To get through you armor all shed have tpo do is Soul Charge before slahing through it like a hot knife through butter. Not a problem for somone of her skills. Her speed is excellent so Vengence would be hard put to catch her.

Good Luck To All In Round 3!!!

**kodster** · 28th May 2007, 15:09

Actually, I want Alex Holts tactics. Id like to see how he reacts to Dans tactics.

**kodster** · 29th May 2007, 15:28

Screw them for now.

First fight of the third round!

Round 3

Full Metal Alchemist vs. Hammer Brother

House fighters are Asterix & Tira.

The Koopa with the hammer faces the Alchemist in epic sequence. The Alchemist immediately turns on the house fighters and fuses them to the ground to prevent them interfering. This gives the Hammer Brother his chance, and before the Alchemist can turn his eyes for a split-second, a hammer collides with his head. He falls forward and goes through the ground. Nobody knows what the hell happened, but its become rather apparent that the Alchemist has vanished from the battle. So the Hammer Brother has won this battle...or has he?
Suddenly, the floor starts to change. The adamantium layers turn liquidy. Asterix and Tira are expelled from the surface, covered in liquid metal, which hardens around them, making statues. Just as suddenly, the Alchemist bursts from the floor, a giant liquid adamantium monster, reeking, boiling in rage. The Hammer Brother shrieks and turns to run, but finds his feet hardened to the surface, which is beginning to turn devilishly hot. Suddenly he remembers that he brought a tankard of liquid nitrogen just in case Mario had some more fireballs to spit at him. Slowly he unzips his backpack and takes it out. Moving faster so his hands dont freeze off, he pours the nitrogen out. The Alchemist is bombarded with cold, and the heat is driven away replaced with cold steel. However nitrogen doesnt react so well with adamantium and the monster explodes in a mess of twisted metal. The Hammer Brother is blown back far but manages to just catch the edge of the arena and pull himself back up. When he does so, the smoke from the explosion disappears, and the audience are amazed. The Alchemist lies in the middle of the arena, spread-eagled, and drained of energy, but still conscious. Not for long though, as the Hammer Brother strides over to the fallen boy and slams a heavy sledgehammer across his skull. Unlike Mr. Psychos hammer this sledgehammer is completely solid, and the Alchemists skull cracks upon impact. Mr. Psycho snorts in the audience.

Hammer Brother advances to Round 4!!

More up soon.

**kodster** · 29th May 2007, 18:20

Professor Vengeance vs. Seong Mi-Na

House fighters are Ancalagon & The Sickness.

On one side of the arena is a powerful lord, exuding infinte amounts of chaos energy, and uncounted legions of minions. On the other side is a young woman of 23, wielding a staff with a blade on the end. Its Prof. Vengeance who breaks the silence; with a flash of his Uber-cane, a fully-functional adamantium suit appears on him, strengthening him tenfold. Strangely, its the same as the arena floor that got mulched by the Alchemist last time. Seong Mi-Na yells and charges her soul with a burst of blue light, but Vengeance just stands there with an inexplicable smirk on his face. Charging forward Mi-Na with all her strength thrusts Scarlet Thunder right into Vengeances gut. A burst of energy suddenly explodes around Vengeance, and the blade is repelled; not only that, but Mi-Na gets smashed into the chest by the handle of her weapon. She falls back and Vengeance once again extracts a phial of blue liquid and drains it. Such power courses through Vengeances veins that the arena is blown to shreds and the adamantium armour is scrapped. But Mi-Na isnt done yet. Her body floats in the air, and her eyes burn red before her soul begins its incredible transformation into the Phoenix. Vengeance is unfazed; a blue aura of light surrounds him as he watches intently. An qequally bright aura of orange folds around Mi-Na and they face each other, both at their prime. Mi-Nas hand clenches around Scarlet Thunder, which is engulfed in fire, whilst a strudy and extremely sharp knife-like attachment bursts out of Vengeances Uber-cane, alight with emerald and sapphire hues. For a moment, their eyes meet and narrow. Then...they strike.

+2>SMASH!!!

A huge burst of light blinds the entire universe for a split second, and then the audience stare at the fight. Its obvious who the winner is, as Seong Mi-Na goes flying into the stands with an almighty CRASH, the Phoenix spirit exorcised out of her and in front of Vengeance. Vengeance scowls, and without question absorbs the Phoenix into his Uber-cane, which glows more fiercely than ever, as Vengeance returns to normal. Seong Mi-Na groans, and is surprisingly helped to her feet by the Professor who confesses that she did indeed have enough power but not enough to beat him. He may be a supervillain, but hes still a gentleman.

Professor Vengeance advances to Round 4!!

----

Diotoir vs. A goth who wields a Tanto

House fighters are Taki & Exa-Gore-Ic.

The Irish fuzzy scoopbot looks around. The goth is nowhere to be found. Diotoir wonders at this, for nobodys been late to a match since Round 1. It must be a coincidence. Somebody enters the arena, and its not the goth. Diotoir wheels around and with a rush of loathing he recognizes his arch-rival, Firestorm V. Its suddenly turned into an episode of Robot Wars as Firestorm flies at his nemesis (hehe, Nemesis

) in a burning rage. But of course this is the ATTTWI, so anything can happen.

Right then, a ton of cows land on Firestorm and break his flipper off, not to mention burying him in beef.

Laughing can be heard and Diotoir again wheels around to see The Wootinator, who was looking for Professor Vengeance but just missed him. Suddenly The Wootinator disappears, and gets into a fight with a piece of bacon. The cows and Firestorm also vanish, and Diotoir is beginning to get flustered when the goth finally arrives on the scene with his Tanto. Apparently the London transit is murder. The fight is finally under way, and the goth swings the Tanto up and brings it down hard to Diotoirs chassis. This should have completely levelled the Irish bot but Diotoir is severely overweight due to the amount of microchips he was eating for breakfast the other day. This contributed to his chassis and armour becoming much heavier and tougher than before, and the hit from the Tanto actually causes recoil damage to the goth, who falls over with his hands shaking and his head pounding. Diotoir reacts instantaneously, plunging right into the goth. A scream of intense pain that goes on half a minute pierces the air. Of course, you would scream too if about 25kg of cold metal scoop inserted itself into...somewhere between your legs. Diotoir pushes the goth into Exa-Gore-Ics area, who fires a bright golden at the goth, frying him crispy. The goth holds up a burning white flag in surrender, but that just causes Exa-Gore-Ic to blast him even more. All thats left of the goth is his Tanto.

Diotoir advances to Round 4!!

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Kenshiro vs. Foxpig

House fighters are Obelix & Big Mac.

The foxpig still retains its superpowers from last round so Kenshiro is slightly at a disadvantage. Not that he cant get out of it, though, as the muscle man lumbers forward with the ground shaking under his feet. Foxpig is certainly taken back by the apparently gigantic berth of the man, but doesnt hestitate any longer. Man meets hybrid, and the punches they deal rock the arena. However Kenshiro, being the bigger opponent, has a greater pushback force so the foxpig is slowly being pushed towards the edge of the platform. Kenshiro isnt, though, aware of the foxpigs agility, and it swiftly ducks between a fist to the ground and lets fly a hind kick to Kenshiros, er, hindquarters. Kenshiro topples forward and falls off the edge, however he manages to catch it with his feet. Thats about the only thing he can do right now, as the foxpig chomps down on one of his feet. The superpowered jaws clamp down on Kenshiros limb and toss him off the platform and into the depths.

Foxpig advances to Round 4!!

Next up: The wrestling match - Violent J vs. XS3!

**dinowarrior** · 29th May 2007, 19:01

Im not bothering with tactics anymore. Id only be repeating myself. Just do what the three fighters normally do (which, in all three cases, appears to be Sit there and do flip-all).

**inuangel2007** · 1st June 2007, 13:20

Oh well I tried anyways.... -sighs- I just hope that Ming has better luck against Google.

**kodster** · 1st June 2007, 13:26

Well, Chris, Gary Cairns entered the Golden Monkey in the WI2, and he didnt give tactics...and it won. You might be better off that way. *shrugs*

I want Alexs tactics for DoomForAll against Master Hand before I post that fight. I want to use it. Seriously.

**kodster** · 1st June 2007, 18:40

Well, I can do the next three matches so...sod it for now.

Violent J vs. XS3

House fighters are Cortez & Hamlet.

LOWER THE CAGE!

An immense steel cage is lowered onto the arena, enclosing the wrestlers. They grin at this, for a cgaed match is awesome. At least to them. and no house fighters allowed in the cage, so Cortez and Hamlet are on top of the cage. The house fighters decide to fight each other out of boredom and down in the cage the real match begins. Leo van Miert hits a bell and the two wrestlers circle each other like wolves. Unlike WWE this is actual real wrestling so anybody with a faint heart would be advised to leave the arena now.

*hundreds of audience members scream and run away*

Thank you. Lets get to the fight. XS3 charges Violent J and immediately clotheslines him. Violent J falls down hard but hes up already and elbows XS3 in the face. XS3 recoils with a howl of pain and that gives Violent J the opportunity to butt him head-to-head, causing XS3 to collapse. Violent J prepares for a body slam on the ground but XS3 rolls away and Violent J collides with the ground. As Violent J gets up, XS3 pulls off a hurracanrana. Violent J is pounded against the wall and falls down, but gets up again...to walk into a drop kick in the face that sends him flying back into the wall. But before he hits the wall, suddenly the cage gives way as Cortez has just jumped on it and this sends Violent J down to his doom. Cortez just makes back onto the platform whilst Hamlet drops lightly beside XS3 and raises his hand, declaring him the winner.

XS3 advances to Round 4!!

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Beavis vs. Samus Aran

House fighter is The Watcher.

Samus Aran isnt wasting any time; she launches a missile at Beavis, who from the previous Round 1 battle had acquired a superpowered brain. He constructs a shield made of pillows, and much to everyones amazement the missile is reflected the other way. Samus dives away as the missile blows by her and destroys an audience stand. The worlds greatest scientists come into the arena and inspect the pillow shield, and after about 45 minutes of grueling, teeth-chattering observance and calculating the scientists stand up and congratulate Beavis on making the universes first missile deflector made out of pillows. Beavis shakes their hands, but suddenly hes whacked in the back out of the head by something...fluffy. Its a pillow, and the ones who have tossed it are the counting sheep from the Serta commericals. They complain that they were the ones who made the first pillow shield, and theyve got the patent to prove it. Whiles the scientists and the sheep argue, Beavis slowly stumbles and gets to his feet, only to be nailed and incinerated by an incoming charge shot fired by Samus standing nearby.

Samus Aran advances to Round 4!!

----

Ming Higurashi vs. Google

House fighters are Asterix & Obelix.

The Google executives and board directors havent the slightest idea who this Ming is, and theyre never going to get anywhere with Fred Flintstone as their owner. So they give him the boot and hire back their old owners. They use their evil spy tactics and dont-ask-how methods to track down Ming, and from weeks of watching and studying her (eww =P) now they know everything about her, but they still dont own her because shes not in their captivity. Its unfortunate that they havent gotten a sense of mathematics yet. Even less fortunate is that Ming cant find out the number Pi, and so finding a computer (with high-speed internet, yay

), she sits down and searches Pi in the question area of the Google site. Back at Google HQ, the staff are having an indoor BBQ when suddenly they get a call from the head office. Apparently they have just been asked what Pi is. Here science again intervenes; as we all know the true value of Pi is never completely known, and the number of decimal points is seemingly infinite. Before it was known that Pi had about 6 decimal places but sadly it was discovered that there were more. Eventually the true number will be found but not today, which confirms that the amount of decimals places Pi has is infinite. Therefore the owners and directors and all the staff of Google are quite dumbfounded by this, and since they cant answer the question they go completely insane and run into the arena, surrounding Ming and bellowing insults and uncomprehendable words, also waving mounds and mounds of paper in her face. Faced with all the roaring in her face Ming snaps and taking out her katanas goes on a massacre, involving almost every single member of Google being chopped into pieces thinner than regular paper. Ming wouldve finished off the owners but Asterix and Obelix got there first and are mercilessly beating them to a pulp, and then toss them across the galaxy, where they somehow land on Earth and even more incredibly...on the Robot Wars arena...in the pit.

Ming Higurashi advances to Round 4!!