Agh, really sorry, I have kind of an imagination block ATM. Dont worry, itll pass soon, and Ill have more fights up!
quote:
Take your time with them. We cant wait to see them.
Why would I take my time if you cant wait? Aint that a little contradictive?
Okay, one fight up for now!
Rocky Raccoon vs. Fifi LaFume
House fighters are Big Mac & Asterix.
A cartoony-style racing music ensues as the raccoon and skunk begin to speed around the arena, the raccoon desperately trying to evade the reach of the happy, purple skunk. The audience watches them running around with slight amusement, but after a little while they start to get nauseous and run off to throw up into a hallway which a sign displaying restroom had pointed to, and all of them fall out of a conveniently placed air lock hidden under the floor into the depths of space and freeze to death. Meanwhile, Rocky and Fifi are still in a rumble. Rocky decides to go on the offensive now and halts suddenly. He leaps backwards into Fifi and headbutts her into the ground. Fifi automatically releases her trademark...smell into the arena; fortunately, Asterix is wearing his nose plugs, Big Mac cant smell, and the audience is completely gone. Rocky however is desperately trying to hold his snout closed so that the odour cant penetrate into his brain; however his face is steadily getting redder and redder. Fifi takes the opportunity and tackle-hugs Rocky over, squeezing him extremely tightly. Rocky would be screaming in agony had he not been constricting his nasal passage and windpipe. Suddenly the head of Rocky pops off to reveal a plastic dummy of Rocky Raccoon, and Fifi raises an eyebrow confusedly. The real Rocky Raccoon was snickering behind a tree in the Boreal Plains forest when suddenly a large grizzly bear lands on him, squashing him flat. The grizzly bear wonders what he did to deserve being dropped from the sky.
Fifi LaFume advances to Round 2!
Who are still in the competition? There are so many i lost track.
Okay, for Leos sake, Ill update the list:
Completed matches (the winner is in green and the loser is in red)
The Mad Hatter vs. Mike Tyson
Riff vs. Foxpig
Seong Mi-Na vs. Trogdor the Burninator
A bowl of custard vs. Evil Mighty Morphin Green Ranger
Zinedine Zidane vs. Mugen
XS3 vs. Bender
Chastity Dingle vs. Google
Monoxide vs. Dethklok
Ichigo Kurosaki vs. A giant radioactive harpischord
Pussycat vs. Red Dino Thunder Ranger
A box filled with miniture Steve Irwin and Evel Knievel clones vs. A goth who wields a tanto
A ninja vs. Myzery
Diotoir vs. Santa Claus
Ming Higurashi vs. A bat out of hell
Sociology vs. Beavis
Professor Vengeance vs. A half-eaten bacon sandwich
Slipknot vs. The most harmless, cute and innocent thing in the universe
A gold pocketwatch vs. The City Wok Owner
Rapier vs. Mini Fridge
Al Gore vs. Hammer Bro.
Tekkaman vs. Barney
Fighter vs. Danish cartoonist
Violent The Wraith J vs. Wild horses
A can of Barqs root beer vs. A jar of crab paste
Jamie Madrox vs. Talkie Toaster
Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. PC
Barry the mutant cuckoo clock vs. Stewie Griffin
Full Metal Alchemist vs. Lordi
Los Angeles cheerleader vs. Cheese monster
Rusty nail vs. Michael Jackson
Lord Doomforall vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
ABK vs. Arael
Bun-Bun vs. A squinting teacher
Solaria Crystalwing & Nightwing vs. Ozzy Osbourne
Dark Magician vs. A Wiimote
Kenshiro vs. Jeffrey Nothing
A bobsleigh vs. Homer Simpson
Samus Aran vs. Sonic & Tails
13 vs. Hobbes
Evangelion Unit 1 vs. The Grim Reaper
Rose/Tardis Deity vs. Slappy Squirrel
Link vs. A giant ball of enraged leopards
A hippopotamus vs. Diamond Sparkle Super Pretzel
Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Kiki
9,000,000 Bicycles vs. Master Hand
Rocky Raccoon vs. Fifi LaFume
Still to come
Chuck Norris vs. Kurt Cobain
Frosty the Snowman vs. Blod
Jack the Ripper vs. Leliel
Shadehawk vs. Jumpsteady
St. Lucifer vs. Jushi Sentai France Five
Santa Claws vs. Major Tom
Squidward Tentacles vs. Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond
Norbert the rabies infected cat vs. Blaze Ya Dead Homie
Rabies prawn vs. Black Mage
Daniel the Chaos Mole vs. A stingray
Raymundo vs. Mara Jade Skywalker
Cyberman Army vs. The fat guy from Boogie Nights
Pee Wee Herman vs. Crazy Frog
A pirate vs. Anti-Matter
Next fights up shortly.
So...the Hippopotamus vs Pretzel one had two winners?
Oops, made an error...
A hippopotamus vs. Diamond Sparkle Super Pretzel
Just to let you know, Im still alive. =P I just havent been on MSN cause my house burned down on the 24th and this dial-up here at the place Im staying is kind of a tool even though its the only chance of getting online Ive got. _
Yowch, sorry to hear about that Mark. Hope everything works out.
Dude, that really sucks... I give my condolences. U_U
Maybe this will cheer you up...
Chuck Norris vs. Kurt Cobain
House fighters are Cortez & Exa-Gore-Ic.
Its Chuck Norris, the master of all that is martial arts, versus the drugged up, ready-to-scream-the-lyrics-to-Smells-Like-Teen-Spirit-in-your-face Kurt Cobain. The match begins with Cobain spitting in Norris face. Norris responds with a Mezentius Style karate chop to Cobains jaw. The audience is astounded: no one knew that Chuck Norris knew the ways of the Mezentius. Apparently, some other creatures who DID know the ways of the Mezentius didnt know that Chuck Norris was learnt in that style either, for suddenly hundreds of Lizardmen swarm Final Destination and lunge violently at Chuck Norris. Norris however beats the crap out of them without breaking a sweat, but they recover instantly and continue their assault. All of a sudden, Kurt Cobain gets an idea and starts to write lyrics to a song. A ten-ton weight falls on a random Klingon in the audience for no reason. Kody shoots the narrator for inputting that ridiculous filler scene -
===============SCENE CUT================
We return to the match, and a new narrator is narrating the match as Chuck Norris is still in fighting stance and the hundreds of Lizardmen are sprawled on the floor. Whats this?! The band members of Static-X have come up onto the arena platform and are beating Kurt Cobain senseless! Norris scratches his head as Static-X leave the arena and leave Kurt Cobain in a broken heap. Ah, this just in...all of you who wondered what the hell happened, Kurt Cobain began his solo which resulted in the Lizardmen keeling over for some reason, and then he named his solo Reptile...ah, that explains why Static-X came, because Kurt Cobain ripped off a song from their latest album. Anyway a great big hand comes up from above and snatches the pile of Kurt Cobain parts and brings it to the heavens...Anthony Politzi also scratches his head and wonders why Cobain wasnt sent to hell instead.
Chuck Norris advances to Round 2!
----
Frosty the Snowman vs. Blod
House fighters are Taki & The Sickness.
Frosty the Snowman assaults the superpower immediately, by launching a rather cold and fluffy white projectile at the face of the brother of God. The snowball however does little except anger Blod, who rains down thousands of thunderbolts onto the poor fairy-tale snowy creature. The lightnings join into one superbolt which strikes the hat of the snowman, but unbelieveably, the hat becomes a lightning rod, which swallows the lightning and protects Frosty from the intense heat of the negative charge. Frosty bounces forward and tackles Blod with his hat but the hat is held off and Frosty is shoved backwards by the infinite power of the being. Blod is about to summon a searing heat wave when Frosty offers to sing before Blod. Blod agrees to this but has no idea what is in store for him. Frosty suddenly emits a shrill, high-pitched wailing, this is extremely loud but more so due to Frosty imitating nails on chalkboard coupled with music from S Club 7. This atrocity is too much even for Blod to bear and he collapses forward, blockading his eardrums but the sound still finds its way in anyway. Even the house fighters are being pressurized here. The Sickness is changing colours rapidly, and spazzing out, and Taki is curled up in a ball, but nothing seems to halt the horrid noise that is being screeched from the evil snowman. Suddenly a piece of rubble falls on top of Frosty and squashes him flat. The squealing stops, fades, and dies, and everybody looks up to see where the rock came from. Wile E. Coyote shrugs, pulling out the leek thrust through his head via his ears, and climbs down off of the coniveniently placed crane beside the The Sickness.
Blod advances to Round 2!
----
Jack the Ripper vs. Leliel
House fighter is The Watcher.
Jack is cheesed off as he gnaws on a hunk of havarti. He never got to kill Clover from the second Wars Incarnate, and is too bitter to even think straight. He tosses a dart at a picture of her and it hits it straight in the head. So when Jack turns around, hes faced by Leliel, the twelfth Angel. The fight begins by Leliel opening up a portal or plothole to a sub-dimension, but Jack nimbly steps around it. Franks eyebrow twitches. Leliel then disappears under the arena, and Jack waits. About 0.001 seconds later, Leliel attacks from above from another plothole. Jack runs right over the plothole that Leliels rear end is still sticking out of, and Leliel comes into contact with herself. The result of this is a gigantic explosion that almost completely levels the entire arena, leaving but about 5 square metres of arena to walk on. This should have made Jack win but suddenly theres a yell from the audience. Its actually Clover, and shes here to get rid of Jack since Slammer beat Jack last time and not her. She tells Kody to put her in Leliels place but that if she wins, then he has to bring Leliel back and advance her. Kody agrees to this but severely handicaps Clover anyway just to see what happens. So Jack won the rather 18+ rated fight which Kody cant describe because of certain things. Lets just say there was...some blood. More like a lot of it. Kody chases Kane Aston from the scene with a wooden chair.
Jack the Ripper advances to Round 2!
Still to come:
Shadehawk vs. Jumpsteady
St. Lucifer vs. Jushi Sentai France Five
Santa Claws vs. Major Tom
Squidward Tentacles vs. Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond
Norbert the rabies infected cat vs. Blaze Ya Dead Homie
Rabies prawn vs. Black Mage
Daniel the Chaos Mole vs. A stingray
Raymundo vs. Mara Jade Skywalker
Cyberman Army vs. The fat guy from Boogie Nights
Pee Wee Herman vs. Crazy Frog
A pirate vs. Anti-Matter
Shadehawk vs. Jumpsteady
House fighters are Cortez & The Sickness.
Shadehawk jumps forward with his trademark gun in hand, but Jumpsteady...er, jumps as well, and they butt heads. Butt-head comes onto the stage and says something about cliches but Frank releases the cat out of the bag, and unfortunately it mauls all three of them. While Butt-head stumbles and falls off the stage, the fight resumes, but is now much more one-sided since Shadehawk is now deprived of his gun that the cat fed to Alex Holts robotic panda from the previous Snow thread. Jumpsteady rams Shadehawk in the head again, and Shadehawk collapses immediately, almost snapping his vertebrae but just manages to stay in one piece; however Jumpsteady is already top of Shadehawk throwing the fists. Shadehawk suddenly lurches forward and placing both feet on Jumpsteadys midsection launches him into Cortez. Unfortunately for Cortez the impact was too great and he collapses in a pile of bones. More importantly, Jumpsteady is trapped in Cortezs rib cage and The Sickness travels over to Cortez and envelops Jumpsteady in toxic smoke. Ironically, the smoke turns to flames which smother Jumpsteady and, after a few minutes, reduce him to half a charred skeleton. Even Cortezs bones take a charring and he cant reform, and has to be rushed to a hospital...somewhere. Shadehawk is rather disturbed by this sight and decides to blow the joint and wait for his next fight.
Shadehawk advances to Round 2!
----
St. Lucifer vs. Jushi Sentai France Five
House fighters are Taki and Tira.
Thomas the Tank Engine enters the arena, wearing an evil grin. Lord DoomForAlls eyes narrow; he already defeated Thomas, what the bloody hell is going on? Suddenly, Thomas explodes to reveal the devil himself, red, horns, tail, and all. The Jushi Sentai France Five drop down from the sky and in front of the devil, who simply laughs at them. Even the laughing is painful, and the France Five drop to their knees in agony, the scorn and mirth of Satan ringing in their ears though they are shut. And obviously its St. Lucifer himself who makes the first move, torching the arena with a blast of hellfire from his hands. The France Five look up, and then nimbly dodge the fiery beam just in time. Lucifer growls and stomps the arena, sending the France Five over onto their backs. Then Lucifer grabs a very heavy object and prepares to smash the leader, Fromage, to pieces with it. Unfortunately for Lucifer, that object is the Eiffel Tower, and the France Five cant stand to see it in the hands of the anti-christ. They leap into action, and normally this would have been a very stupid thing to do but the circumstances are in the France Fives favour now. Lucifer feels the might of his fiery fury cooled as he is bombarded by a barrage of kicks and relinquishes his grip on the Tower with a howl, which causes it to fall on him. The France Five gasp as the Eiffel Tower smashes into a billion pieces and lies on top of the antichrist in rubble. A few moments pass in silence, and everybody just remains where they are. Then suddenly the ruins of the Eiffel Tower burst up from the ground and Lucifer stands tall again, his eyes blazing. The France Five fall back in terror, but before they can do so much as shout Lucifer unsheathes a great flaming sword and swats them all with it. They burn to ashes before they even drop to the nothingness below. St. Lucifer sheathes the fiery tongue, and gives the merest half-glance in Lord DoomFoorAlls direction before pyro-teleporting back to his lair.
St. Lucifer advances to Round 2!
----
Santa Claws vs. Major Tom
House fighters are Big Mac and Hamlet.
Major Tom is a stately gentlemen, however he doesnt believe it fairytales. But Santa Claws is Santa Claus...with claws! Scary! But not really. Unless youre Major Tom. Kody freezes the narrator in time for wasting a line or two and hires a new one. Back to the match, Major Tom isnt doing too well; hes almost entirely on the defensive. Suddenly Major Tom pulls out a microphone and starts singing the Birmingham song...in E-minor. Hamlet has a chat with Exa-Gore-Ic in the stands, who agrees to set a barrier around the arena until the song ends. The audience is saved from any high-pitched wailing...for this fight anyway. Back in the arena, the Santa Claws gets a chalkboard and scratches his claws on it. This drowns out the Birmingham melody immediately with a immense SCREEEEEEEEECH, and Major Tom spasms for a split-second before jumping in his MINI Cooper and driving into and over Santa Claws, but what Major Tom doesnt realize is that Santa Claws clawed into the MINIs motor, resulting in an explosion that thankfully ejects Major Tom from the foundered vehicle but less thankfully right in front of the evil, sharp-appendaged Saint Nick. Santa Claws raises a foot to stomp on Major Toms face, yet in that time Major Tom got out of the way, and the foot went through the ground since Santa Claws had to get a prosthetic foot for breaking the real one going down a chimney the wrong way. Major Tom draws out an iron hammer whilst the Claws, er, claws at the ground attempting to break free. But its too late; there is a loud crack, and Santa Claws keels in reverse, nose broken, and conscious unconscious. The dome is lifted and Hamlet salutes Major Tom, then kicks him off the stage just because he can.
Major Tom advances to Round 2!
----
Squidward Tentacles vs. Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond
House fighters are Asterix and Obelix.
Squidward enters the arena alone. Where are those two idiots, the squid thinks to himself. Probably chickened out, it seems, and he laughs moronically before pulling his clarinet and playing horribly. The audience groans, but their ears are spared now thanks to the arrival of...Paris Hilton?! Squidward stops playing the clarinet, and stuffs it down her throat, causing her to explode. Then comes Will Smith, and he and Squidward engage in a game of fisticuffs, resulting in Squidward winning, but only because Squidward shoved Wills fist into his own face. Ryan Seacrest enters the arena next. Squidward is confused, but fights Seacrest anyway, and trips him into a net, which flings Seacrest across a desert where hes attacked by sea crabs infected with leprosy. Squidwards doom is imminent now, as Steven Seagal comes in. Thats right, Nick, and I cant believe how badly we fooled them, giving them counterfeit money, says a voice from above, and both Squidward and Seagal look up. Its Nick Diamond and Johnny Gomez in a announcing box. Uh oh, I think theyre onto us, says Nick Diamond, and they bolt, as Steven Seagal leaves the arena and chases after them. Squidward turns to face the audience and is engulfed in rotten tomates.
But Squidward Tentacles advances to Round 2 anyway!
Still to come:
Norbert the rabies infected cat vs. Blaze Ya Dead Homie
Rabies prawn vs. Black Mage
Daniel the Chaos Mole vs. A stingray
Raymundo vs. Mara Jade Skywalker
Cyberman Army vs. The fat guy from Boogie Nights
Pee Wee Herman vs. Crazy Frog
A pirate vs. Anti-Matter
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