Welcome, once again, to Robot Wars Extreme! Now, we have a special event...

WAR OF INDEPENDANCE PART 2: U.S.A BRACKET

Now, the robots competing here will probably be unfamiliar to a lot of you, but just bear with me. I have analysed them AMAP.

Anyway, LET THE WARS BEGIN!!

BATTLE 1

FROM NEW YORK; BASENJI
A pretty vicious State-side competitor, and no wonder. The name Basenji comes from the name of an Egyptian breed of domestic dog, which was a very efficient hunter. This Basenji is no different, except that, instead of fur, it has a titanium and aluminium coat. I like that, I like the fact that its invertable, I like the wedge at the front and the six-inch hole saw at the back, but I DONT like the exposed wheels.

FROM THE COMMONWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS; BUNNY ATTACK
Stick your hunting gun down a rabbit hole these days, and look what pops its 200 pound bulk out. This double-wedge shaped rabbit would have Elmer Fudd screaming for mercy, with four wheel drive and an 8lb sledgehammer on top, just for a little extra hop to it. Hes also got a nice bit of fur lining, which, of course, is a fur brained scheme, when there are flame jets all over the arena. Lets hope this Were-Rabbit doesnt suffer a meltdown.

ROBOTEERS, STAND BY!!

Booth 1: Bunny Attack
Booth 2: Basenji
House Robots: Growler and Sir Killalot

3...2...1...ACTIVATE!!

And off we go for the first round of the American bracket! The Basenji against the Bunny, and Basenji charges head on into Bunny Attack, the bunny saved by its fairly lowish ground clearance. The hammer, though, is taking its time coming down. Basenji backs away, and comes in on another frontal charge, pushing Bunny Attack into the side grinders. That wont do the fur much good. It wont do Basenjis hole saw much good either, which is probably why the two keep meeting head on...but no, Bunny Attack is away. Hes the heavier of the two machines, by 16lbs. Trying to veer away, but Basenji catches him again, this time at an angle! Basenji pushes Bunny Attack away, maybe aiming towards the flame pit...now THAT would be cool! But the charge just deflected Bunny Attack away. Now Bunny Attack comes on a side ram, down comes the sledgehammer...HA!! That was pathetic!! The sledgehammer, not only lethargic, but came down with hardly a bash! 8LBS!? Youre having a laugh!! Its 8mgs, Im sure! Certainly, its not going to work against Basenji. There could be a little insect on there and it wouldnt do anything! But no, Bunny Attack reverses out of danger, back into the centre of the arena. The sledgehammer is still down...and it slams into the side of Basenji! And I wonder, perhaps theyre trying to use the sledgehammer to break off those exposed wheels. The wheels of Basenji are not only exposed, theyre flimsy. VERY flimsy! Basenji tries to dart away...and just about manages!! That was a relief. The wheels are OK. Now Basenji tries for another head on collition with Bunny Attack. It succeeds! And he pushes the Bunny...right into Sir Killalot!! And the master of mayhem picks up Bunny Attack effortlessly, ripping some fur in the process! Hes obviously fed up with the way Bunny Attack is performing! Now wheres Basenji...ah, activating the pit! Maybe hes bored as well. Killalot drops Bunny Attack eventually, on its wheels, but very close to the pit. Basenji gives it a nudge...AND A WHEEL HOVERS OVER THE EDGE!! Its now riding on two wheels, very delicatly! Go on Basenji, put him out of his misery...there we go. Basenji shoves Bunny Attack back into its burrow, and saves it from a possibly more violent death.

CEASE!!

Bunny Attack gets turned into Rabbit stew!
BASENJI GOES THROUGH!!

Next time, Diskotek meets Manta.