Robot Wars RPG - "The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005"

**darkguru** · 1st April 2005, 23:34

hmm...i remember the way i disorientated Gumby...(boy, if computers could glare, i was KIDDING)

Ok, these guys may be fast but they lack the mental compacity to control their actions at their fastest, in other words, i can run rings around them...and lead them to Alexs hole

**andrewj** · 4th April 2005, 11:41

My plan is to pepper Scratch using Grounder, and then Kody can eat him. Then we just need one of the spinners to smash Grounders tracks off.

**mrdaves** · 5th April 2005, 22:10

DAVEO SEZ: Ive been dreaming of a time when the English are sick to death of Labour

STEVE SEZ:
High on a Beatles binge, I bring thee the next installment!

This is just so stupid! Sally groaned with exasperation, weve managed to go ten years without having to get involved with any of Robotniks crap - then one day, we go out for brunch and all of a sudden, were prisoners of war again! Thats what I get for wanting a Starbucks, I suppose.

Dont get yersel in a twist, Sally Girl, Bunnie told her encouragingly, Well be outta here in no time. After all, weve been in tougher spots than this before.

Oh, give it a rest in there! Scratch screeched, I can barely hear myself think! The area briefly went silent; the only sound being the gentle rustling of the tumbleweed within the mecha chickens head. Thats better, he sighed with a lazy grin.

The tranquil mood was quickly punctured, however. As Grounder took a smug deep breath too, something flew down the corridor and bounced off his rounded head with a comical clang.

Hey! he exclaimed dopily as he picked up the strange object, where the heck did this come from? It looked like some sort of Swiss Army Knife, a spanners head as its present setting.

I think it came from over there, Scratch replied, craning his long neck down the corridor, come on, weve gotta check this. But Grounder shook his head.

Nuh-uh. Dr Robotnik said weve gotta guard the prisoners. Remember the last time we left our post and that little mushroom guy we caught got away?

Well, how was I supposed to know the Aliens Directors Cut would last so long?!, the chicken snapped. Just get going, lugnut! It could be intruders!

Yeah, Grounder, go on, Sally grinned, well be fine here. We can take care of ourselves, yknow. But Grounder still refused.

Dr Robotnik said hed put us back on Sanitation Duty if he caught us not at our stations. I still havent gotten over that night he tried out Indian food. Scratch shuddered. He clearly couldnt forget that either.

Look, well make a compromise, he suggested and removed his head from its shoulders with a little pop. Sitting it down in front of the cell, his body then proceeded to decapitate Grounder before placing it next to Scratchs cranium.

See?, the chickens head explained, now our bodies can go after the intruders while our heads watch the prisoners.

Thats great! Grounder cheered, but he seemed less impressed as he saw their headless bodies stumble and trundle aimlessly down the corridor, knocking into anything possible along the way.

Weve really gotta get a tune-up soon, he suggested, wincing as his body began spinning round in circles and proceeded to trip up Scratchs. But the chicken seemed more interested in the giant piece of cloth falling towards them. Wait a minute. Giant piece of cloth?

...what the?! he yelped, but his words were cut short as the two heads suddenly found themselves buried under Alexs grey fleece jacket.

All too easy, Agent Mann chuckled wickedly as the magnificant seven approached the cell.

Oh mah stars! Bunnie exclaimed, Who the hoo-hah are you?!

Relax, ladies, Kody grinned, we were just passing by and saw that you could use a little help. Stepping aside, he allowed Alex to make his way forwards and easily sliced through the cell door with his lightsabre.

...um...thanks?, Sally replied, still a little nonplussed as Alex broke the girls bonds, what are more humans doing here, anyway?

Trying to find a missing bot for a mate, Aaron explained, just dont ask for the finer details now because weve been globetrotting all day and weve hardly had a breather sinc -

...Nicole?! the Princess gasped abruptly as she noticed the handheld computer.

Excuse me? a befuddled Chris inquired, but he then found the palmtop snatched from his hands and being embraced by the delighted chipmunk.

Oh, Nicole, Ive missed you so much! she cried joyously, Im not going to let you out my sight ever again!

[Good evening, Sally], the computer replied, her voice somewhat more pleasant than when she spoke to Chris, [it is good to be back under your command again.]

Exqueeze me, Andy chimed, raising his hand, but just what the Dickens is going on?

This computers mine, Sally told him, Ive had her ever since I was a little girl. She vanished just a few weeks ago and Ive had no idea where she was. How on Mobius did you ever find her?

We had a little help from a friend, Matty said with a roll of his eyes, his mind cast to a Scotsman with severe acne.

And its the last help youre ever gonna get! someone screeched behind them. The group spun around and saw Scratch and Grounders heads hopping angrily along the ground, the jacket having been shaken off as their bodies dashed back over and replaced their nickel-plated noggins.

All right, Bunnie said, raising her mechanical fist, whos up for a lil crash course in engineering?

Hold it! Andy butted in, Ive a better idea and with the Swiss Army Spoon back in his hand, he stepped out the cell towards the charging mechanoids. Quickly fiddling with the gadget, he found the felt pen function and hurridly drew a large black circle in front of him. Scratch and Grounder kept coming...but froze suddenly as they stepped onto the circle. Nervously, they looked down and felt their Tooniversal chips kick in. Moments later, the duo found themselves hurtling down the makeshift hole, their comical screams echoing on the way down before a loud CLANG reverberated around the corridor.

Thats usin the ol noodle, sugar!, Bunnie cheered as she clapped AJ on the shoulder. The might of her robotic hand very nearly had him down the hole too.

So then, Matty said brightly, whos up for some rather uncourageous fleeing? Unanimously, the nine raised their hands and promtly bolted down the corridor. No-one noticing a battered Grounder hovering back up through the hole with his helicopter blade hands.

I think I severed my server Scratch wheezed as he clung onto his partners waist.

**********

Just this way, guys, Sally said quietly, her nose buried in Nicoles screen as the others followed close behind. So engrossed was she in following the map (and Chris too, from over her shoulder), that she ended up bumping into a very familiar vertically-challenged man.

Why dont you watch wher - . Snively froze from picking up his papers. Not only were his old enemies standing before him, but seven complete strangers seemed to be chaperoning them. YOU! he barked and quickly adjusted his headset, Dr Robotnik! The intruders have released the prisoners! Sound the ala -

Sound this, Igor! Chris snapped and bonked the mad scientist on the head with Nicole just before sirens started blaring from the speakers along the wall.

Hey, careful! Thats sensitive equipment! Sally called as she whipped a laser pistol from her right boot and followed the troop past the howling Snively. After a few moments of seemingly random scurrying from corridor to corridor, Chris finally stopped outside a pair of large metal doors with a relieved smile.

An emergency exit! he cried, Come on, guys! Freedom awaits! Together, the nine swarmed through, only to find themselves in an enormous empty metallic room, almost as big as the Mentorn warehouse. The group tried to double-back, but the doors had sealed themselves shut. Alex and Bunnie kept battering away at them, but to no avail.

I-I dont understand! Chris spluttered, examining the computers blueprints with a degree of panic, Nicole couldnt have been that badly damaged from the blow! How could that map possibly - .

Sally intervened by flipping the palmtop the right way up.

Oh, Chris groaned. Right. Suddenly realising which room they were actually in, he gave a startled squeak and pointed out the large golden cannon bearing down on them from up on high to the others, a glistening Emerald placed at intervals along the barrel with Dr Ivo Robotnik sitting at the controls. An twisted grin was spread across his pudgy face as he peered down at them through his tinted glasses.

Well, well, well! he barked merrily, It looks like Im going to get my target practice after all! But whats the point in keeping something so much fun to yourself, eh? S.S.S.S.S. Squad assemble!

From a hidden back door of the Testing Range, several bodies emerged. First through came Scratch and Grounder, now patched up and looking madder than ever with a laser rifle each. Next came Snively in his Uncles prized Egg-O-Matic hovercraft, looking particularly smug as he opened the underbelly hatch to reveal a large stockpile of explosive eggs. Finally streaking through the door came what looked like a sleek robotic hedgehog, its spines and fingers both sharpened to a menacing point as its red eyes glistened menacingly.

I give you my new and improved Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad! the Doctor announced proudly, I was going to save them for an encounter with Sonic, of course, but then again, this is a training room after all and they need to brush up on their skills. With a sinister chuckle, he snapped his fingers and with a bark of GO!, the S.S.S.S.S. Squad advanced on our nine protaganists.

Its OK! Chris flustered in his slightly panicky state of mind, Its OK! Ive got their stats! Ive got their stats! and hurridly flashed them to the others:

[NAME: Egg-o-Matic
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 9
- Speed = 7
- Manoueverability = 8
- Defense = 6
- Aim = 8

NAME: Metal Sonic
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 8
- Speed = 10
- Manoueverability = 8
- Defense = 7
- Brains = 7
- Aim = 5]

Well, nothing else for it now, Kody announced as his hands began morphing into Super Gores pincers, Let the wars begin!

...Im sure one of us has already made that joke, Aaron sighed.

this post was brought to you today by the wooty company

**steven_mcg** · 5th April 2005, 22:11

DECISION TIME!

Seven humans and two superevolved animals against two mad scientists, three killer androids and the ultimate in honking big laser guns. Battle royales dont get much royaler!

Plans of action now required, with the girls stats below to aid in your strategies:

NAME: Princess Sally Acorn
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 5
- Speed = 6
- Manoueverability = 8
- Defense = 5
- Brains = 9

NAME: Bunnie Rabbot
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 8
- Speed = 6
- Manoueverability = 7
- Defense = 7
- Brains = 5

Happy oil-spillin, yall! :wink:

6th April 2005, 01:05

Morissey is good. As is this RPG. Nice work, Steve!

**darkguru** · 6th April 2005, 20:38

No one glare at me! Isnt the brainiac allowed to make ONE mistake?

Erm...ok...pants, i call dibs on Scratch and Grounder, i sure that i can take both considering their limited brain compacity

Intervention from the real Sonic would be dandy

**matty_haka** · 6th April 2005, 21:15

I wish to die please

Something that would mentally scar and distract the others to make ht e plot more intersting while making me look like a hero. Something ironic wouldnt go amiss either. SOmething bloody by me impaling osmething up my arse?:P

**alex_holt** · 6th April 2005, 21:25

You might have a plan there Matty, you stick somethign up your arse, they all cover there eyes/sensors and i go round lopping off their heads/cotnrol centers with a lightsabre.

Sorted