Robot Wars RPG - "The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005"

[darkguru]

Ok, Love Bite can probably nimbly dodge the pressure pads for the crossbows. The swords, again Love Bite, its low to the ground, might get undewr the sword. If Nicole can calculate where the hammers will hit, Love Bite can also probably dodge them.

The tentacles, Archangel has an upper flywheel, no prob, eh? The bridge, human form perhaps? Certainly for Alex i think. As for the cannon...AJ...your spoon wouldnt just happen to have an antitank panzerfest attachment would it? I guess if the shells are off the ground, our intrepid speedster (Love Bite again) could dodge them.

heh, a lot of work for me methinks, someone better be ready to do repairs.

[darkguru]

I would like to sometime use the line If i die, i am coming back to haunt each and every single one of you INCLUDING Steven!

[scott]

STEVE SEZ:
Nice to see youre all still so wrapped up in my little tale

Oh and FYI, I will not be throwing Kody out of the story. This is party because he seems most likely the real person in the little scandal thats hit the forum and also because it makes things a whole lot simpler for me. If anyone is able to contact Kody and ask him for tactics online, thatd be great. Failing that, use him to your advantage in your own plans

**********

Silence followed Kodys inquiry. They werent sure what to do.

Oh for Gods sake! Chris finally exclaimed, somebodys got to do something! and he suddenly morphed into Love Bite form.

Hold it, brainiac! Matty called, but Chris mission was over almost as quickly as it started. In seconds, the box-wedge had darted around the pressure-pads lining the floor and remorphed to his human state right beside the first switch.

All clear! he beckoned with a click and the others nervously crossed the first stretch to join him. Now then, he added, staring at the swords jabbing in and out in front of them, who fancies tackling them?

Step aside, pommies, Aaron announced triumphantly and in the blink of an eye, Knightrous Oxide could be seen charging towards the sabres. The group shielded their eyes and with a shower of sparks, the Australian pentagon had bent the blades right back - even managing to snap some clean in two!

Enter! he grinned, flicking switch number two and letting the gang through to the hammers.

My turn, I think Elle said proudly and pausing for a few seconds, she suddenly lept towards the mighty bludgeoners and began cartwheeling in, out n through the giant swinging and smashing hammerheads.

...sweet, a maroon Aaron squeaked as the troop ushered him up the deactivated pathway to their next obstacle.

Stand back, Alex grinned evily and changing into the Archangel, he trundled up to the tentacle ties, the twin spinning rings fast approaching maximum speed. Slowly, the tendrils started slipping their way across to the group, but the mechanised Alex simply met them head-on and ripped them apart in what can only be described as a stitching massacre. The next switch was activated and the team moved over to the edge of the sponge pool.

Allow me, Alex said, withdrawing his lightsabre and charged across the narrow bridge. However, hed only made it halfway when one of the sponges lept up and attached itself to his face. Desperately, he tried to prise the yellow leech from his face, but still, it kept sucking, leaving the ruler of the Oddestsey world on the edge of the bridge.

AL! Andy yelled and solved the problem the only way he knew how - with coffee! Whipping open a fresh flash, he threw the contents into Alexs face. With a screech of pain, the burnt sponge hopped back into the water and before any others could attack, AJ threw down another canister into the pool. In mere seconds, the water turned a deep brown before the group careered across the bridge, static sponges starting to float up to the surface.

One more, Matty piped up and gave the Panzer cannon guarding the door ahead a frightful look, any thoughts?

Not to worry, Kody grinned and turned the Camoflague Ray Gun on himself. The cannon had just taken notice of the team and was just preparing a fresh missile for them when...

COMPANY...HALT!

The cannon stopped dead in its tracks as Sgt Major Kunz stood before him.

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?! he barked, WHO DYA THINK YOU ARE, TURNING ON A COMMANDING OFFICER?! I AUGHTA HAVE YOUR STRIPES FOR THIS! Utterly confused, the cannon simply juddered left and right, blissfully unaware of Alexs lightsabre slicing it clean in two, catapulted over by a flip from GeForce.

Open sesame, the Canadian chuckled as he changed back to his normal attire and the doors ahead slowly swung open.

**********

Cautiously, the team entered the final room. If anything, it was even bigger than the Gauntlet, covered from wall-to-wall with all manner of weaponry while the floor was littered with enough jewels, money and world-famous possessions to make the British Museum look insignificant - but no Wedge Devo. Right at the end stood a tall golden throne, standing on which was an angry teenager with large blonde hair. He wore a deep blue jumpsuit, white boots and cape, a classic black band around his eyes and perched jauntily on his head was a horned Viking helmet.

Aha! he bellowed, so my guards were right! There are some damned Reds trying to make off with my booty!

Reds? Chris inquired, eyebrow raised.

[Hes a notorious Communism phobic] Nicole explained.

OK, lets just cut to the chase, Aaron groaned, tell us where the robot is so we can get the hell out of here.

...what bot? Ellis asked quizically.

You know, Matty explained, exasperated, short, wedge-shaped, silvery, flies Scotland flag, little red light on top etc etc.

...why the Jim Morrison would I want a robot like that for? the Legendary King of Thieves spluttered, Im a man of WAAAAR! Unless its a Gundam mech suit, I aint wantin it!

Whoop-de-doo, Alex said with a quick roll of his eyes, another delightful dead-end.

And now Ellis announced theatrically, its time to show you Commie cretins just what I do to tree-huggers like yourselves.... He paused and grinned seductively as he saw Agent Mann. ...cept you. You can share Jesses room in my harem. Getting back to his senses, he hopped down off his throne and darted to a nearby pedastal, on which seven orange balls lay on an old cushion once made in a Home Economics class.

Lets rock the dragon! he roared as he grabbed the little sphere and the room was suddenly filled with a bright yellow flash.

Who is that God-like figure? AJ exclaimed and as the light died, a glowing Ellis hovered above the ground, Vanilla Ice hair even larger than normal and biceps actually noticable. With what he felt was a very manly laugh, he shot towards the group with his infamous battle cry:

1, 2, 3, 4!
I LOVE MARINE CORPS!

[steven_mcg]

DECISION TIME!

What a Dragonballs-up this has turned out to be! Ellis has gone Super-Saiyan and is about to give you intruders a whooping you wont forget quickly! How on earth do you intend to get out of this scrape? I guess it could all come down (in the words of FatBoy Slim) to your Weapon of Choice... :wink:

[alex_holt]

Hmmm.... get andy to throw his coffee over his hair distracting it while i sabre him down and everyone else attacks.

[matty_haka]

Plan:

If I take his side, Aaron tkaes his abck, and the rest of you distract him, we can put my original plan to use.

[knightrous]

Ill take the side, you take him from behind

[darkguru]

Well i guess that im the distraction again

I never got to use my line...ah well

[mrdaves]

Dave Sez: Im rapping in the morning, rapping in the evening and Im rapping, doing the rap, rap, rapping.

STEVE SEZ:

RUN AWAY! Andy cried and the group quickly split up as Super-Saiyan Ellis shot across the Trophy Room.

Distract him! Matty called as he fished out the InifiniTune, Ive got an idea! With a tired sigh, Chris raised his hand.

Here we go again, he groaned. If I dont survive, youre all getting such a haunting! THAT INCLUDES YOU, STEVE! he roared skyward as he transformed into Love Bite and began running rings around the glowing King of Thieves. Too busy trying to get a decent fireball launched towards the double-wedge, Ellis failed to notice Matty sneak up alongside him and set Hot In Here by Nelly onto the InfiniTune. Full-blast. With a howl of horror, the recently-converted Viking clapped his hands to his ears.

Told you itd work! Matty called triumphantly, but the wide grin on his face quickly faded as the King of Thieves produced a large warhammer from his belt and smashed the super CD player with a sickening crunch.

...say nothing, he growled, ducking to sweep up the broken music box as Ellis swooped over him.

You goddam Socialists are really asking for it now! the Saiyan thundered, nearly hammering Alex and Kody if a projected coffee canister hadnt thumped the side of his head. This wasnt stopping the Legendary King of Thieves, however, who began launching a barrage of fireballs towards the group. Thankfully, the group had managed to take cover behind the stunt double for K.I.T.T. in Knight Rider while Agent Mann simply cartwheeled out of each of the projectiles path to rejoin the others.

Ellis gave a cry of anger. Come out and fight, ya cowardly Constitution-loathin Commies!

He does know the Cold War finished 40 years ago, right? Aaron hissed.

It was as though a light had flickered on in Chris brain all of a sudden. Without a word, he snatched the Seance CellPhone off of Aaron and began flicking through the address book.

Trust me! he whispered to the angered Australian, AHA! Its here! The numbers here! As quickly as he could, he entered in the number and heard the dialtone. However...

Hey there, soldiers.

Ellis floated above the group, a wicked grin on his face and two fresh fireballs warming his fists, know that you have been bested by me - ELLIS, the Legendary King of Thieves!. But before he even raise his arms, a bright blue flash illuminated the room and out from the ringing phone came the spectre of a tall bald man with black goatee and a matching black suit.

Mr Ellis, Chris chuckled, Id like you to meet Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov. Better known to the world as Lenin. The yellow Ellis turned white with fear, while the founder of modern Socialism simply gazed around him, wondering what he was doing so far from the Afterlife.

C-C-C-C-COMMIE! the King of Thieves bellowed and began blasting fireballs in every direction he could. Shocked at such primitive behaviour, Lenin mumbled something insulting in Russian before diving back into the phone. With a little click, the line disconnected.

Come on! Chris called over the blasts, nows our chance to get out of here!. Agreeing 110%, the group joined him in rushing out the main door, leaving the psychotic Super-Saiyan to continue blasting all over the Trophy Room.

COMMIES! COMMIES EVERYWHERE! he thundered, grabbing every available weapon he could off the walls, YOU DAMNED REDS WONT TAKE ME DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT! THOR, GIVE ME STRENGTH!

Youd think Vengeance could pick a saner ally than that, wouldnt you? Aaron pondered as the team sprinted through the trembling caves deactivated traps.

Can we save the insults for later? Agent Mann barked, This whole place could collape at any moment! Just as rocks began to rain down on them from the ceiling, the magnificant seven made it to the ladder and began scrambling back up and through the gallows trap door.

Come on! Elle called, the gang now running flat out through the courtyard, the castles started sinking! Just as the wondrous building began caving in on itself, the team huddled around the firemans pole.

Oh, man! What now?! Kody groaned, How do we climb that before were buried 60ft under?

Oooo AJ cooed, looking at a tiny red imprint on the wall, button. He pressed it with one finger and the enormous spring beneath them catapulted them back up past the stony shaft.

**********

Whassa?! Bertie spluttered. A loud rumbling had awoken him from his slumber and as he regained his senses, he noticed the island was rumbling viciously. Sensing something may be going on, he reverted to his aquatic form and sped over to the isle, just as seven figures were spat out of the small cave onto the sandy surface.

Lemee guess, the bus said with a roll of his eyes, successful mission?.

Oh, just zip it and drive! Alex cried with exasperation as the group shot inside their companion. With a roar of his engine, the Sodor transporter sprouted his wings and shot off into the air, just in time for the crew within to gaze down at the stoney entrance to the Legendary King of Thieves palace collapse.

Never seen a cave cave in before AJ sniggered.

And once again, another fruitless search, Alex grumbled, giving Andy a sharp whack on the back of the head with the handle of his lightsabre.

Not exactly, Kody grinned, Check it. I managed to swipe some dudes big hat.

Meanwhile, just as Bertie vanished into the sunset, a bruised blonde figure clambered out of the rocky wreckage of his former domain.

...oh no, he groaned, this place cost a bomb to build! Stupid corner-cuttin pinko workers, with their unions and their we want paid demonastrations!. Angrily, he whipped a simplistic mobile phone from his ripped garments.

Hey, Doc...umm...you know those guys after that thingy youve got? ...well, they might be getting kinda close to findin ya...

[steven_mcg]

DECISION TIME!

Bravo! Youve outwitted Mr Ellis (not too hard, in all honesty :wink and destroyed his evil fortress of pickpocketry. But still, Wedge Devo remains nowhere to be found. Only two more suspects remain now, so choose carefully and find that flippah!

- Mentorn Inc.
- Ellis, the Legendary King of Thieves
- Dr Ivo Robotnik
- The Spanish Inquisition
- George W Bush

Soz for the constant delays BTW. Again, schoolwork is on the rise - Im getting four tests this week alone. My brain hurts!