And now, in a startling new way of working: I€™m actually going to get this round finished within a month of starting it!

Ivo Robotnik vs. Oaky Doak

Man against nature, the ultimate battle in which there never really is a winner, for every tree cut down, more mice get into your house and gnaw up stuff in the loft, maintaining a strange misbalance whereby nature still comes out worse. But a dark woodland sprite from the deep past has emerged, a Dark God of the woods, his power is dark and menacing, and the time of Waning is over, and now his powers wax to a dark menace, and around him, the wood thickens, light doesn€™t reach the floor, and the menace surrounding the place grows.

Yet into the gloom strides a man in Red, his form compounding layers of thick metal plating onto his flesh - a man who believes technology to be the way forward. In his calloused hands he holds his latest invention - a rip blade, a serrated blade which generates reciprocating movements capable of shredding anything. The Master of Robotics charges into the dread tangle, hacking with the blade, dicing away vines, but the vines seem to come alive with dark magic, grasping the form of the Doctor, but he activates his power armour, and around him a thick layer of heavy armour grasps his form, and then with a buzzing sound spikes protrude and the whole form crackles with electricity, the vines spin backward, shrieking somehow in their dark form.

Robotnik wades in deeper through the vast thicket, his rip blade whirring in a wide arc, tearing through the vines, and then, a far cry from his appearance in public, he is far closer to a humanoid oak - dark strand of energy erupting from him and weaving into the surrounding forest. But even as he raises his rip blade to finish the dark lord of the woods vines lash out, and divide inside him, draining his bodily fluids with horrifying speed, leaving but a dry husk of Robotnik upon the floor€¦

+200 for Innovation
+150 for Aggression
+50 for survival time

Professor Vengeance: 32680 points
Cat: 1450 points
Wootinator: 700 points
Mara Jade: 500 points
Dr Robotnik 400 points
Mars Bars: 400 points
Duck: 300 points
Pikachu: 200 points

Thomas the Tank Engine vs. Popcorn Dragons

The former antichrist limber€™s up for this epic confrontation, coal fills his boiler and the great metal beast begins to accelerate along the rails, his great power churning up, and then he impacts a scouting trio of popcorn dragons, squelching their tiny forms in a shower of popcorn - or has he? The popcorn dragons have literally €˜popped€™ - a form of teleportation which leaves a few pieces of popcorn behind where they once where.
Then, all of a sudden the popcorn dragons are all over him, with a vast flurry of €˜pops€™ as they appear in existence, blasting Thomas with white hot jets of popcorn, singing the carpets in the carriages, worse still, the sweet popcorn gets stuck to the floor. This proves dangerous, as Thomas is forced to hire more cleaning staff to offset the lost costs of replacing carpet. Furthermroe the passengers are tormented by the indestructible little dragonss, it burns their flesh with jets of popcorn, and pop in and out of existence without stopping, making them a nuisance, but a permanent one. Even the armed guard Thomas hires are no avail, as sweet popcorn syrup clogs their weapons. Eventually Thomas finds it too expensive to be run, and shuts down. Engineers however extract his mechanical brain and implant it into a steam powered tank, which was, possessed by the spirit of a minor God: to be exact the god of Sloths and toenail clippings you find on the carpet, and therefore gains a small bit of his power back.

+100 for aggression
+300 for self improvement
+1000 for time

Professor Vengeance: 32680 points
Cat: 1450 points
Thomas the Tank Engine: 1400 points
Wootinator: 700 points
Mara Jade: 500 points
Dr Robotnik 400 points
Mars Bars: 400 points
Duck: 300 points
Pikachu: 200 points


Golden Monkey vs. Razor-hawk

The golden monkey sits upon the pedestal in the centre of the really complex and heavily trapped temple complex, normally he would run away, but with super human senses, agility, practical invulnerability and a lot of sharp claws it probably wouldn€™t hold of razor-hawk for long. Therefore he€™s sitting in the trap and monster laden dungeon awaiting the battle, and he has one plan should she get through all of it.

Razor hawk glides on titanium wings through the temple, pit pall traps hold nothing for her, and the vast dinosaur that guards the first passage holds no problems for her, she drops upon its face and slashes deep in a dread attack, severing it jugular and letting its corpse slump lifelessly to the floor. She leaps across the deep ravine with the rickety bridge, her legs moving like springs and her metallic claws dig deep onto the rocks of the opposing face. As she moves down a passage a rumbling is heard behind her and she twists with inhuman speed, spines springing from every point along her arm, and them themselves unfurling into steel feathers, the boulder hits against them and impacts: splitting the boulder into a thousand pieces. The scent of the monkey is strong, in fact so strong, she whirls her wing-arm into the wall next to her and the monkey shrieks as it finds her creating her own entrance, as blades cut deep into rock. The monkey bolts for his last resort: a small burrow in the ground, however a single stomp from razor hawk caves in the entrance to the burrow and leaves the monkey with a limited supply of air€¦

+400 for defensive strategy
+50 for aggression

As such our final results are:

Professor Vengeance: 32680 points
Cat: 1450 points
Thomas the Tank Engine: 1400 points
Wootinator: 700 points
Mara Jade: 500 points
Golden monkey: 450 points
Dr Robotnik 400 points
Mars Bars: 400 points
Duck: 300 points
Pikachu: 200 points


Therefore we have to unfortunately say good by to duck and pikachu, as they are released into the wolf pit of losing (not a metaphor) and thus we continue onto the semi finals and round 6!

And now after these brutal elimination rounds we are back to the melees: here are the semi finals, where great legends will be wrought, and marmite will be spread very thinly. Only my whim stands between victory and utter failure!

Dr Robotnik vs. Wootinator
Professor Vengeance vs. Mars Bar
Cat vs. Thomas the Tank engine
Golden Monkey vs. Mara Jade