And forward we march into round 3! I may have lost my slowness of tourny record but I attempt to regain it slowly, but surely, so behold ye of little faith.

Pussycat vs. Dr Octopus

The cat is feeling a bit laid back, so it opts for a more indifferent approach to the tournament, besides everyone knows cats hate water, and guess where octopus€™s live, he has to play it cool€¦
Dr Octopus wanders round the streets of Manhattan, wreaking destruction upon the weak, and so forth, he€™s off his rocker this guy, but nether the less he needs to find his opponent, and if possible, solve world power shortages in the process. He€™s the villain that just can€™t stop giving€¦ Anyways, he suddenly catches his claw on something€¦it appears to be made of chain mail€¦it€™s a bag. With his massively powerful arms he opens the bag€¦
The cat is out the bag and raking at Octopus€™s face with his claws, the villains is waving his arms but seems unable to see where he€™s hitting and ends up winding himself, the devil cat then tears the metal arms apart as if they were nothing and generally obliterates the entire structure, leaving just a rather chubby looking man€¦who subsequently gets dismembered unpleasantly, with one of his metal arms rammed up his posterior. The audience wince.

Pussycat goes through to Round 4!


Mug of Coffee vs. Ruff Ruff Dougal

The beverage is preparing an awesome end to this fight, it sits there biding its time, waiting to unleash a fury like no other upon its foe. It waits, and waits€¦ the cotton-clad anti-hero trundles forward likewise, ready to destroy the mug. The tension moutns to breaking point and then, with devastating accuracy, the mug splashes a few drops of coffee onto Ruff Ruff Dougal. This, despite being the most powerful attack the mug can muster is in fact, completely useless and pointless. It tries again, and the brown fluid is soaed up by the cotton. Realising this is perhaps the most easy possible fight he could have faced the small robotic dog just leaves it alone and goes of to see if he can find some hot aibo to play fetch with. The coffee goes cold, and then eventually curdles and is washed down the sink a few days later

Ruff Ruff Dougal goes through to Round 4!


Gothmog, Lord of the Balrogs vs. Mara Jade Skywalker

There is a start contrast in adversaries here, one is a giant demon from the darkest places of middle earth. The other is a human jedi€¦ the final contest between science fiction and fantasy can only be settled in one way - in a rather warped battle!
Tosave geeks everywhere from further argueing the point they are both permitted to use anything within their genre and so battle commences€¦
Gothmog rides in on a vast flaming unicorn, no one knows where he got such a thing from and according to the judges he can€™t just mak thigns up, so the unicorn disapparates and the fell lord hits his face off the ground hard. Not a good start. This isn€™t aided by the fact that Mara Jade seems to have somehow got hold of a selection of all the space ships she could handle, and above the dark creature Deep Space 9, Enterprise, the Death Star, A squadron of X-wings, Moya, Talyn, Babylon 5, a squadron of Romulan War Birds, A borg Cube and what could possibly be a Scarren Dreadnaught loom over the sky intermingled with a slection of other ships that no-one except extreme geeks could conceivably recognise. Gothmog waves his hand and several thousand black dragons leap into the sky, followed by griffons, wyverns, phoenix€™s, rocs, giant eagles and a selection of other various beasties. The resulting battle is rather spectacular - dragons tear down fighters and fighters tears down dragons and the giant windscreen wipers on the death stars windows have to work overtime wiping various Pegasus off the windows.
Mara Jade suddenly does a commando roll through a stragate that has materialised behind and lances out her lightsaber, however the vast flaming sword of the Balrog parries it and the two enter combat. Every single creature conceivable on either side is summoned and slain€¦wookies fight skeletons, Klingons battle dwarfs (at least for a while, until they settle it in a good hearted drinking contest) and Yoda fights Gandalf. They they hit upon an idea€¦they both simultaneously call upon€¦the Scarlet Witch€¦both magical and science fiction, she can change the universe, and because she is on the side of both, the just decides to send a wave of decimation across the battle field, and both sides lay on the floor and die€¦ What the Balrog didn€™t realise was that Mara Jade had just used the seven-days project to go back in time and replace herself with a clone. Mara Jade was infact sitting slurping martini in the audience, and therefore she beams as she advances to the next round.


Mara Jade goes through to Round 4!


Pikachu vs. Dick Dastardly and Muttly

The robot blasts a brilliant arc of lightening into Dastardly, but the characters powers extend to complete invulnerability, if not immunity to pain€¦he is completely blackened, and his special anti-pikachu gun disintegrates into a pile of ash. Muttly realises that with Dastardly at his side he will never get anywhere, and so proposes a team up with pikachu. Flying dog and electric rodent take to the skies, and rain down thunder upon Dick Dastardly, zapping at his feet until he runs off a cliff€¦

Pikachu and Muttly goes through to Round 4!

Still to come in Round 3!

Wootinator vs. A Random Dalek
Samus Arran vs. A Duck
White Swan vs. A Mars Bar
Hippopotamus vs. Dr Ivo Robotnik
Thomas the Tank engine vs. Bouncy Castle
Prof. Vengeance vs. Ringwraith
100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee vs. teapot
Homer Simpson vs. a Velociraptor
Jaina Solo vs. Golden Monkey