The story so far

Well, I officially dubbed NSBFL 2 as the great seed massacre, and it looks like NSBFL 7 wanted to follow in it€™s footsteps. This year we€™ve had shocks, controversies, strange election results and affairs! But enough of what€™s happening in the real world, there were some mighty strange goins-ons in the NSBFL too.

In Heat A it looked like business as usual as number one seed Achilles easily disposed of the Vampire Twins, while there was a huge tussle in another arena for the dubious right of facing the champ between Call Out Hook and Sonic Boom. It was Call Out hook who folded the cards first, having been smashed into submission by the mace of Sonic Boom! Business as normal went into bankruptcy however. Sonic Boom refused to be intimidated , and beat down the champ in a close judges decision!
Heat B was along next, with Dervish VI facing an opponent it had previously dismantled with ease. Bisyamonten hadn€™t changed, but nearly put the whirling Dervish into the moat on several occasions! Damaged ruled the day though, the God of War was slain again. Artros had rookie problems, facing a more experienced team in El Persistence. It was rammed until it broke. This didn€™t work in the heat final though, as it was Dervish€™s spinning that did all the breaking. El Persistence wasn€™t persistent enough!
While Dervish had shown the way for the seeds, Sheer Hell couldn€™t follow in Heat C. It doesn€™t like being flipped, and Stratos-Fear is all about flippage. Two flips and the seed was hurled from the arena. BIACS-LE and Heir to Black Panther 4 put on a much lengthier display, which was still one sided traffic. Thanks to the design of BIACS-LE, Heir to Black Panther couldn€™t do much against it and was knocked out by the odd spinner. Unfortunately for Matty, the reverse was true in the heat final. Stratos-Fear bypassed ingenuity with brute force and flipped BIACS-LE into submission.
In Heat D, Hell Machines traditional in your face and tear it off methods were put to the test against Star 69, and were shockingly found to be lacking! Star 69 squeezed through on a close judges decision. On the other side of the fence, Son of Ripper made its NSBFL return with a win over NSA thanks to writer incompetence. A rewrite was refused, so on it went. Thanks to Andy€™s um€¦ unique idea of trying to flip a full body spinner while it was spinning at its fullest, Son of Ripper eventually lost its flipper plate. Star 69 still ended up in the moat, but not before Son of Ripper had disappeared itself. Star 69 went through!
Heat E was next, and another former champ was in action! Venom had difficulties with the invertible Die-Ceratops Invertus though, and ran out of gas trying to finish it off! Chris capitalised, and the ex champ was gone. MORD took on 360 next. As someone predicted, letters beat numbers, and 360 went out in style over the fence! It was a battle of the invertibles in the heat final, with MORD coming out on top thanks to the timely intervention of a Roulette pit.
At the start of Heat F, it was the battle of the axes as Battle Raptor 3 took on Hakce doff Ha-Ka, who was very hacked off after loosing when Battle Raptor pushed it into the pit. While this was going on, Ankle Biter Evo was unable to function properly after Crush 2 disabled its weapon and drive, and so it was counted out. Crush 2 wasn€™t able to get a munch in on Battle Raptor, so Richard€™s machine became only the second to get through!
Heat G started off in a blink. V€™Ger quickly stopped the spinner on Circuit Breaker and upended it, while GeForce set out to quickly throw Got Bot from the ring and did just that! It was a tougher fight for both machine sin the heat final though, which V€™Ger eventually won after tearing a panel off GeForce and attacking the very innards.
It was Heat H next, and Kruel Intent didn€™t have much work to do against Pink Panther, which was let down by its woefully inefficient drive which soon burnt out. ForcePower Turbo and Flaming Hell was a different affair though. Neither could do much to the other, and as it was a Last €˜Bot Standing battle, we were in for a long night. ForcePower€™s batteries solved the problem by eventually losing their power. The heat final between Kruel Intent and Flaming Hell was a quick and violent affair, and both ended up falling down a pit! The judges decided and found Kruel Intent to be lacking. Flaming hell went through.
Heat I started off with a fight between the seeded Love Bite and the Revenge Of The Far Too Long Name. Love Bite was bludgeonated to death, and Steve€™s machine went on. Think Tank proved no match for Glasgow Kiss, and was sent packing back to the US of A in an expensive lesson in what happens when robots with a real budget go against those without. It was the end of the affair soon after for Glasgow Kiss though, Revenge of the Revenge of the Bludgeonater did what its name implied. Well. More like what its name emphatically stated.
Heat J started how Alex meant for it to carry on. Violently, as Archangel of the Abyss proved just too much for Cyclone Force 2, and took it to pieces. The battle of the flippers was next, as Wedga Revo took on Veg 2. It was a back and forth and upwards affair, ended when Veg 2 was shown the camera track. Next, it was the age old battle between spinner and flipper. Flipper won the day when the Archangel vanished into the moat.
Former PTT champ Beta couldn€™t win a second tournament in Heat K, as it was designed for metal floors, and performed badly on a wooden surface. With nothing to stop it bouncing on the swing, it had no control, and the fight was ended early when the arena became damaged. Going Crunch went through. When SDIV was inverted by Panicking, the saw became too high to do anything to Martyn€™s machine. Panicking won an uneven fight. Going Crunch was a different kettle of coffee though. Mmm, coffee. Panicking became beached on crunch after a flip from Going and the cluster €˜bot went though.
Heat L was just that for tenth seed Drilla Killa 7. The former tag team champ was flipped around by Tiger Shark, and in the Last €˜Bot Standing arena, being stacked is death. That€™s what happened to it. Push-Ish vs Squish was one sided from the get go. Squish didn€™t have the power to self right, and had no answer when it found it needed to. Tiger Shark looked badly outclassed by Push-Ish, but made good use of its flipper and the house robots to take a judges decision and become the only real robot to make the semies.
Heat M started with double M in the form of Manic Monsoon, going through over Orka Mk 3 after its too low ground clearance betrayed, and grounded it. Deep Impact looked impressive on paper, but Agitator proved that paper can be torn easily, causing bad damage to its weapons and body, eventually spinning it into the moat. It didn€™t last long against Manic Monsoon though, as it had no shrimech, and the seed could put it in a position where it needed one.
In Heat N, Seggy the 3rd beat the impressive looking Flipping Hell with two flips. The first sent it over, and then Flipping hell€™s self righting flip sent it too high up and broke itself. Insecticide looked to have the Doomsday Project deactivated with a typical three seconds left on the clock after breaking its weapon, but then the Roulette arena claimed it. The weapon of The Doomsday Project broke again against Seggy the 3rd, but this time there was no random pit to save Steve€™s bacon, and the seed went through!
The Deer, being too low to be hit by the weapon of Powerpoint Reaches Preassurepoint at the start of Heat O. However, it still almost ended up being pushed backwards into the moat, winning by dropping PRP in instead. Hefty Kick in the Balls did just that to Black Chalkie Beard, spinning both parts into the moat, but still not damaging them much. However the weapon let it down after The Deer began ruthlessly smacking the weapon into the walls in order to break it, then broke the rest of Hefty too.
And finally was Heat P, and another seed exits stage pit, as Annoying Box Rush 2 defeated Wedge Devo in a lengthy, if one sided pushing match. You Only Live Once took down the Ringwraith, first by beheading its big bird thing then saying €œActually I€™m a woman, so stuff that up you€™re no man can kill me prophesy€. It was no match for ABR though, and soon had its own weapon and hopes broken.

Newbies: 10. Seeds: 6.

It was a change of pace now, as the middleweights came out to strut their violent stuff. In the first melee, Tom made good against Pure and Collision Force, sending one into the moat after the other broke down. Fat Billy Sastards and Evil Scotsman dismantled Heavy Metal Noise, taking it in turns to rip bits off. Then billy got bored, and that was bad news for the Scotsman. Killoteeny and Black ganged up on Scarlek, lifting and hammering it back to scar-o The last fight was a quick affair. Blizzard was sent down a Roullete pit, and Hell-Fire was sent to join it before the trap could close. Blazer went through.

Round two in the heavyweight draw now, and things were started off by Sonic Boom and Revenge of the Revenge of the Bludgeonater. Steve had similar problems to Call Out Hook earlier, and the result was the same. Sonic Boom went through.
Dervish VI next went up against Wedga Revo in the last €˜bot standing arena. It was the flipper who won though, breaking Dervish down with flip after flip. Another seed bites the stuff that accumulates in un-swept rooms!
Stratos-Fear managed to destroy Crunch with one flip, but Going proved tougher prey, and the much larger robot ended up in the moat instead!
Star 69 had two close fights in the heat, but showed exactly what it could do against Tiger Shark, ripping the real robot a new one.
Manic Monsoon was on fire against MORD, which was odd as the NSBFL arena doesn€™t have flame pits. MORD came back into its stride though and sent the 8th seed into the pit.
Seggy the 3rd took control against Battle Raptor, and didn€™t seem inclined to let go of it. The seed went through in fine style.
The Deer and V€™Ger had a stalemated battle. The Deer took damage, but grappled onto V€™Ger for a lot of the fight, controlling the pace of the match. The judges decided, and The Deer went through.
Annoying Box Rush again lived up to its name against Flaming Hell, rushing in, stopping the spinner, turning it over and then putting it in the moat just to be on the safe side.

Newbies: 5. Seeds: 3.

Things got lighter again, as the lightweights came out to play. And they play rough. Lithium won the first melee, taking out Miss Dee Meaner and Little Big Bot in the process. Jo Mamma dominated Ringo Scarr and Manic Aggressive. Um€¦ That didn€™t come out right, but whatever. Hell Hound was dogged, and damaged the weapon of Triskaidekaphobia so it couldn€™t spin, and then the body of RCRQL so it couldn€™t move. Crash was the last one through, beating Mad Cow and Gridlock in an action packed fight.

Back to the heavies, and Sonic Boom€™s successful run came to an end at the hands of MORD. Well, more like the scoop of MORD and the pit, but whatever, who€™s counting? Oh, you are? *destroys your calculator*. I win again!
Annoying Box Rush was up next, taking on Star 69. Annoying Box Rush had been relying on an anti spinner lead plate to get past all those heavy hitters, but Star 69 managed to tear it off! The result wasn€™t changed though, as Star 69 still fell to the annoying rusher.
The fight between Wedga Revo and Seggy the 3rd was over almost before it started. Seggy was hurled from the ring in seconds!
Going Crunch€™s unprecedented winning streak continued with a win over The Deer, with Martyn€™s robot beached on Going, who was unable to flip it off thanks to a broken flipper!

Featherweight action was up next. Hells Angel started off the action, beating real robots Pillow Torque and Scorpion Junior, then TREADTHAL followed it by beating Storm Vortex and Micro Monsoon. A slimmed down Maximum Velocity won after old rivals Sparkstorm and Overdrive concentrated more on each other, and last through was Alpha 1 winning against Blue and Combat Raptor.

And finally, in the heavyweight finals, MORD finally put Going Crunch away€¦ Down the moat, after some initial problems with fighting two robots. Wedga Revo meanwhile had some annoying box rush problems, but soon rushed the rusher and threw it over the arena fence!

Now we move into the moat for€¦

3rd place playoff

It€™s Going Crunch vs Annoying Box Rush. We know how they got there, so let€™s get the party started!

3€¦
2€¦
1€¦..
ACTIVATE!!

ABR charges forwards at the separating cluster immediately! Going gets out of the way, but Crunch is taken from behind and pushed towards the moat, just managing to slip away from an early bath in the moat! Going comes up behind ABR, hoping to send it down, but ABR quickly reverses away and past Going, who turns in an effort to get under it as it goes by! This almost works perfectly, the flipper fires and ABR is bounced up, stalling it long enough for Crunch to come in with the spinner, denting the armour and spinning itself away!

Going uses the time to come in properly and flip ABR over! The larger machine self rights though, causing Going to miss it with the next attack, and ABR is in a perfect position to then flip over Going! Going self rights as Crunch comes in again, clipping the rear of ABR, but Nick€™s machine isn€™t fazed, and catches the self righting Going on the scoop, once more flipping it over and pushing it towards the moat! Crunch comes in behind ABR as it pushes Going, trying to stop the inexorable charge!

Going is unceremoniously dumped into the moat, and Crunch slams into the rear of ABR, trying to send it in afterwards, but it just doesn€™t have the weight to budge it! ABR simply reverses, bullying Crunch out of the way as it does so, and turns to face Crunch! Crunch hits the scoop with its spinner, deflecting itself from harms way. ABR turns to face it again though, getting under the almost stationary spinner and lifting Crunch up and over! Things look bad for the cluster €˜bot as ABR gets under Crunch before it can self right and starts pushing it moat-wards! Things look worse when Crunch is dumped into the moat as well!

Annoying Box Rush wins a no-nonsense bout to claim 3rd place! Going crunch wins a commiseration wooden spoon.