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Thread: Commonwealth Carnage (WARNING, PRE-BBC2...if ever)

  1. #1
    Robots from all over the commenwealth come and bash up each other, the house robots have possible the worst time theyve ever had, and one robot finally gets some silverware for the cabinet....Its one of Robot Wars least seen episode, yet conversly, its also one of the best!!

    Melee 1
    The structure of this show is like your standard, common or garden series 6 heat, 4 robots in each of the first two melees, one VS one from then on...simple, textbook! :wink:
    So, lining up in the first melee, is Firestorm, representing England, Weldor, From Ireland,
    Corkscrew, representing Scotland, and perhaps the furthest a robot has ever travelled to be on Robot Wars: Bondi Titch from Australia, a small, green, cube-ish robot with a hammer on top.
    As soon as activate was called, Firestorm moved aggressivley towards Wel-Dor and flipped it, however Wel-Dor immediatly self righted, and Firestorm didnt like this, so flipped it over again. It looked like this flippage, while the Weldor Flipping Arm was upright from its self-righting, damaged the arm meaning that Wel-Dor could not Self-right from now on, no matter how many times it flopped itself into the air trying. What Bondi-Titch and Corkscrew were up to at this stage is anybodies guess, as the TV Cameras were all focusing on Firestorm, as once again it shoved Wel-Dor towards the arena side wall, and flipped it right OUT OF THE ARENA!!
    Meanwhile, just as Firestorm began attacking Bondi-Titch, Corkscrew took the oppertunity to attack the Aussie bot and ripped off an entire corner panel as it sat near Matilda in a CPZ!
    Matilda seemed a bit out of sorts, the flywheel wasnt working and she was hardly moving...bit weird, however Mr Psycho came to her aid, pottered right across the arena from His CPZ, and aimed for BT with his hammer....and hit the arena sidewall!
    Firestorm then appeared, rescued BT from the CPZ, and, perhaps charitably, flipped it Out of the arena!! (Who says bottom Hinged flippers have trouble with that?)
    Corkscrew, perhaps sensing something was up with the house bot, then approaced Matilda at full chat, and ripped a piece of her shell (the part with the thumb-prints in it..just behind the tusk) clean off, and sent that scuttering across the arena....And so it begins!
    What an action packed melee...both Robots through had put in an impressive performance!

    Melee 2
    The four up this time were, Panic Attack, representing...hmmm....lets see now....Wales was it?
    Crustacean, from South Africa,
    Cerberus, from Cyprus and finally Terror-Turtle, hailing from Canada.
    Activate was called, and Panic Attack busied itself with Terror-Turtle, as Crustacean to a shining to the shiny Cerberus....not quite as shiny as I remember, but still shiny!
    Crustacean bullied Cerberus around the arena, and Panic was doing the same to Terror-Turtle.
    It seems that despite slight differences in their weapon design, (PAs forks were designed to lift, while Crustaceans claws were built to clamp) both Robots end up doing the same thing, clamping on to their opponent and out-driving them. This is exactly what Crustacean did to Cerberus, and the shiny robot had ended up down the very same pit which in the past had been a friend to the robot....however, not today!
    Panic was similarly dominating TT, indeed even had it down the pit at the same time as Cerberus ended up there, but in the end it was left to Killalot to invert the Canadian bot with his lance. It didnt really matter that the House Robot has intervened to end the fight (THIS time!), as TT hadnt done enough to justify its place in the second round anyway...all he did was save us about a minute it takes (TV wise) to wait for a judges decision! And the efficient Killalot got a pinch in the bum from Crustacean as a thank you! Meanwhile, Panic Attack AGAIN found Shunt and lifted him up, though not quite managing to flip him over....Compettitors VS House Bots...2-0

    Firestorm VS Panic Attack
    Ahhh, the old grudge.
    Perhaps not as famous as some of Robot Wars other grudges, but still, its always been around whenever these robots have met...(I think I make it 3-0 to Firestorm before this battle...someone correct me if Im wrong though)
    So, given that Firestorm has a good record, lower wedge that PAs skirts, and perhaps you could say, a more effective weapon to use on PA that PA can use on it, who do you think will win?
    Well, even so, you can bet the panic wont give up without giving it all its got, and another fast paced, even battle very reminiscant of the series 3 semi-Final between the two resulted.
    Firestorm would nip in, get in a few jabs, flip panic up but not over a few times, then Panic would come back, try to get in its forks for an attack, leaving Firestorm to drive off again....
    However, the deciscive point of the match came when Firestorm flipped PA against the arena side wall....Deja Vu anyone?
    Panic Attack looked like it was going to self right, but in a mistaken attempt to get the battle going again, the refbot waded in and broke PAs self righer! :sad:
    So instead of doing the decent thing and helping PA to its fee.....wheels, instead it decided to count out the Welsh hope! Kim Davis would be within his rights to go to the ref and shove his cards where the sun dont shine! (Wales then? )
    Firestorm VS House Robots
    Still the same battle, but more like phase 2 of Firestorms plan!
    While Refbot was counting down PA, Firestorm was hassling Sgt Bash, and as Psycho started parading PA around the arena in his claw, he was oblivious to the fact that fellow house robot Bash was now inverted as a result of Firestorm..
    Right, excellent work Firestorm, 1 of 2 dealt with...but now what?
    I was all for them having a go at the Ref for his blatent bad behaviour a few moments ago...instead they chose the wise idea of trying to flip the 2 Ton Weight (Mr Psycho + Panic Attack still in his claws = Rough guess from me to make the figure look more impressive! )
    However, nothing was doing here, to it decided to bide its time, come up with a new plan.
    Let Psycho think it had given up on him, then wait until he had Panic Attack dangling over the pit, then use the weight to shove him in!
    In Theory, it works....however, in theory, COMMUNISM works (thank you Homer Simpson )
    All of Firestorms best laid plans came to nothing though, Mr P dumped Panic in the pit, and didnt budge when Firestorm tried to help it in too! :sad:
    However, now Mr P was trapped between the pit and had to reverse up Firestorms wedge to get out of there (this probably wasnt a problem to Psychos driver, he didnt seem to be scared of Firestorm!) Firestorm now had the biggest of all the house robots sitting right over its flipper....could it do anything about it???
    YESSSSSSS!!! (about half an hour later! )
    Amazingly, Firestorms flipper JUST creaked open and eased Mr P onto his side!
    3-0 to the compettitors!
    WHAT a moment....WHAT a spectacle!

    Crustacean VS Corkscrew
    Hmmm? What? OH! Theres still a Commenwealth Carnage to be fought for.....Id almost forgotten!
    Corkscew spun itself up to full speed and moved in on Crustacean, and I was expecting those fancy claws to be ripped right off....
    However, Crustacean is more solidly built than I thought, and took this blow with ease. Faces with a Corkscrew robot that was now not spinning, Crustacean found the blades of Corkscew made excellent clamping devices...indeed, its doubtful they could have been designed better to fit in the Crab bots claws!
    You know whats coming now then, Corkscew was pushed towards a certain button that activates the pit, then pused towards a certain deep, smokey hole in the arena from which theres no escaping...another Textbook performance from Crustacean, Ten on ten!
    Cease was called and no house robots had been fair!

    ff6000>Final: Firestorm VS Crustacean
    England Vs South Africa, Flipper Vs Clamp Bot.
    One robot has been seemingly unstoppable in this battle, Crustacean won its battles through good driving, and slow, determined control.
    Whos your money on?
    Well, perhaps YOU are being a bit hasty with your money, since we already know that Chaos 2 found this robot very difficult to flip because of its shape, and almost lost to it because of it.
    Firestorm also found the strange bulbous, spherical shape difficult to deal with, but similarly, Crustacean found the wedge shape of Firestorm left them with nothing to clamp on to.
    The only flips in this battle came when Firestorm drove Crustacean into a CPZ and flipped the Crab bot onto Dead Metal. This conflaboration between compettitors left Crustacean wedged up on its side against the side wall, immobile....and since that was the end of the battle, also left Firestorm to busy itself with the House Robots again!
    This time, its sensible planning from the previous HB attacking deserted it, as it left alone the easily flippable Sgt Bash and went straight for Dead Metal (perhaps chasing another first for house robot flippage, who knows) However, Dead Metal was wedged in against a grinder, which neither gave Firestorm the luxary of flipping it, or DM the chance to escape. This let the Sgt in to claw into the flat part behind FSs flipper....and expensive looking damage it looked like too...
    Still, Sgt attacks Firestorm as Firestorm had DM up in the air wedged against the grinder....well call this one a draw!
    That leaves us a final score of: Compettiors 3, House Robots 0.5! To coin a phrase....W00T!

    Great episode all around, one of the best of Extreme 2, and right up there with the top 5 of Best eps ever (The Length of this review should attest to that!)....what a shame it may never be seen on National Television :sad:

    Word of the day: Attest!


  2. #2
    Daves reviewish.

    Heat 15

    Round 1 -
    1 - Bondi-titch (Aus) Vs Cork-screw (Scot) Vs Wel-dor 3 (Eire) Vs Firestorm 4.5 (Eng)
    2 - Panic Attack (Wales) Vs Terror-turtle (Canadian) Vs Cerberus (Spain) Vs Crushtacean (South Africa)

    House robots-

    1 - Mr Psycho and Matilda
    2 - Shunt and Sir Killalot

    Results -
    1 - Firestorm flipped wel-dor and bondi-tirch out of the arena. Cork-screw had a go at Matilda
    2 - Cerberus was pitted and a judge€™s decision went for Crushtacean. Panic Attack went for shunt.

    Round 2 -
    1 - Panic Attack Vs Firestorm
    2 - Crushtacean Vs Cork-screw

    House robots -
    1 - Mr Psycho and Sgt. Bash
    2 - Shunt and Growler

    1 - Panic attack got flipped onto its side and was self-righting until Ref-bot hit the lid and it broke.
    2 - Both robots drove into the pit, Crushtacean won.

    Mr Dave€™s comments -
    Firestorm flipped Sgt. Bash and Mr Psycho over.

    Final -
    Firestorm Vs Crushtacean

    House robots - Sgt. Bash and Dead Metal

    Results -
    Crushtacean was flipped onto its side
    Firestorm tried to flip dead metal.

  3. #3

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