(I'll fill in the talking to the Cucumberoo later, for now here is Twitch's reading)

As Twitch reads the board it turns out to be a bit of detail on the basic mythology of the Church of Vengeance - apparently he is not worshipped as such, but more regarded as the highest of Saints, and the prophet of the Multiverse. It details that he has been here twice before - the first time he arrived when the world was young and aided in the fight against the evil of Berenhotep - the first great evil to enter the world. He stayed for a while but eventually vanished back to where he had come from. The second time was many centuries years later, when he helped rid the world of the darkplague. It then goes into some apocrypha however - he will apparently return once more, and his arrival will signal the end of the multiverse as he reclaims his relic from the Grand Cathedral, smites the unbelievers and gives his decision to the Lord of who should be spared.