The Last Oddetsey

[steven_mcg]

"How dare you! Going trouserless is a noble tradition of my people! I will not hear it besmirched by someone who clearly has no respect for religion or the Great Prophecy! I am going to tell my Reverand about this this instant, he will know what to do with you ragamuffins!"

What are you-

HEY! GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! YOU NEVER EVEN BOTHERED-

OH, YES, VERY NICE! VERY CLEVER! GO AND FIND A WALL TO MOUNT YOURSELF ON, WILL YOU, YOU ABOMINABLE BREADBIN?

Honestly, for a God-fearing duck, he knows a lot of obscene wing gestures. At least I assume that's what they were.

"Do I want to know who that was?"

A git, is who it was.

Aaaand you're a talking parrot. Yes. Of course. It's all falling into place now. (Christ).

"Wherever we are, you seem to be well known..."

What can I say? My reputation precedes me.

"...you smell of raspberries, by the way."

This from a house pet who smells like the backside of my grandmother's carpet.

...

[sniff sniff]

(Bloody aftershave).

Wait a moment! That building in the distance. It almost looks like...

But it can't be! My old Hawaiian base wasn't that small - and it was in Hawaii, come to mention it - and it didn't have those spires and pretty windows all over the place like a malformed cathedral. But I know that shape anywhere. Who else would build a colossal bowler hat over an active volcano and harness all that mounting magma into a continent-crossing lava cannon? Not Dr Popsicle, I can tell you that much!

Now this is truly worth investigating! Sunday best, everybody! It's time for church!