The Last Oddetsey

[alex_holt]

"Well, no one is entirely sure, he's been around for much of the entire length of the world as far as we can tell, he has used several aliases, but the ancient texts mostly refer to him as Lord Doomforall... As to whether he is a messiah... it seems to vary with account, the oldest references are to that of a unifying conqueror, but in my own lifetime he has only been seen a few times to avert apparently seemingly unstoppable disasters, and has otherwise remained in solitude."

[Max]

Spod is slightly taken back by the weird spider creature's question, after a moment he realises he still has the expensive ball gown;

"Sprondinkles, all I have of value is this rather expensive looking ball gown, what have you of use that you will trade for it? A way to return home? Or perhaps information?"

[alex_holt]

"That item does have some value yes, and Sprondinkles is happy to provide customers with information for free, Sprondinkles hopes that such generosity will encourage them to make good trades with him. So, where is your home and what information may Sprondinkle help you with?"

[kodster]

"You say no one is willing to tell us what happened two years ago... is that true? Is there no one around here that will give us a further insight on it? Or is it truly forgotten?" said Eudial. She was rather skeptical that no one in this strange city would remember something like that, but kept such skepticism out of her voice.

[shadowflare]

"Oh, oh, I'll take one of them newsletter things!" said Marisa, "If I had some money I'd get the big one but... well unless you accept off-mushrooms that won't work, would it? A normal papery one is good for me." If nothing else, having spare paper is useful, for starting fires and probably other things too. Maybe she could grow holy mushrooms on it or something. Marisa thought that may be a good experiment, if nothing else.

She looked out at the speck in the sky, having a very bad feeling about it.

"You say no one is willing to tell us what happened two years ago... is that true? Is there no one around here that will give us a further insight on it? Or is it truly forgotten?" said Eudial.

"Maybe there is a libary nearby with history books or something... If people don't wanna talk about it, it's bound to be written down somewhere, right?

[NWOWWE]

"Maybe there is a libary nearby with history books or something... If people don't wanna talk about it, it's bound to be written down somewhere, right?

"Not to seem overly pessimistic, but it's always possible they've tried to cover it up completely. It wouldn't be the first time such a thing has happened. I've seen it. All the same, it would be worth a look I suppose."

[Max]

"That item does have some value yes, and Sprondinkles is happy to provide customers with information for free, Sprondinkles hopes that such generosity will encourage them to make good trades with him. So, where is your home and what information may Sprondinkle help you with?"

I come from earth in the 22nd century, I would like to know what's going on round here, why I have been taken here and is there any way of getting back home?

[alex_holt]

The Cucumberoo happily hands Marisa the last few editions of the newsletter - though the contents are fairly banal, if you are looking for something particular in there you may be able to find it.

"I mean, it's a cover up of some sort - it was widely announced that Doomforall stopped the black hole, and there were parties in the streets and whatnot, but then, suddenly there was a media blackout for a few days and no one has heard anything about the Lord since... None of the beings or ships who went up there returned, and that black spot appeared in the sky, and then that Gryphon turned up and was on the infonets, and shortly after that all the Powers started turning up to maintain the shield."

He lowers his voice conspiratorially

"The psycorps have been drafted to stop widespread panic, but the Church found out and let its members know..."

__________________________________________________ _______

SPOD:

Sprondinkle fills you in that you are probably a faller, and that as this is an alternate dimension, "Earth in the 22nd Century" is a fairly meaningless description. It is possibly to get home, but only a few beings in the history of the World have managed it and that was pretty much all in ancient history that that travelling happened - Frank Goacher, Lord Doomforall and Professor Vengeance. Sprondinkle is very clear that he wouldn't like to be messing around with anything left over by them.

Other than that, he reveals you are in a neighbourhood known as the Devil's Sock Draw, and that pretty much the same is going on here as has always gone on here - vandalism, graffiti, muggings, drugs, dub-step, watching The Only Way is Essex and other despicable crimes.

[steven_mcg]

"It's been going since not long after the King Industries affair a few hundred years ago, some of the scholars studying that found some parallels between that event and two other previously, and the two previous ones matched very closely a prophecy on an ancient ipad unearthed on the far side of the city. The thing is the tablet was older than either of those events, and both shared in common Professor Vengeance. The tablet also spoke of a third coming...err you see the translated version on the wall at the far end of the room.

This is Earth Zero, of Multiverse Zero and this is the Metropolitan area of New Melded, biggest city on the planet.

Ah, finally, we're getting somewhere. Earth Zero. Yes. How very 'Crisis'-y. I can work with this. Probably.

The tablet's back there, is it? Hmm, that's definitely worth investigating. I'll read that in a minute.

(Melded. That rings a bell. Wasn't that where Phil Harmonik claimed he'd gone after he spontaneously combusted that night on stage? Damn it, I must get that old time machine fixed! I haven't caught up on my future symphonic rock in ages.)

As for the other stuff, its all from the prophecy, but I guess you've noticed the giant shield outside... it looks an awful like the end of something.... all I know is somewhere went wrong during that black hole problem two years back and then the powers of the multiverse started gathering here to try to stop whatever it was

Mm, yes. Always tricksy things, black holes. If you don't know what you're doing, your space armada goes right down the plughole and you spend the rest of your life as some monstrous spaghetti man! But that's only bad for a galaxy; a universe at worst, surely. How many dying stars do you have to pee off to threaten every universe in every reality?

Errr my tailor goes by the name of Goldenrod, he's one of those Moon-Dwarves who lives a few streets away, he's made a business of growing living metals into clothes, and the church is very keen on them!

Excellent. Must make a note of that. There's no telling what an epic quest beyond time and space will do to one's Sunday best, eh, vicar?

I'll put you all on the newsletter right not.... what format would you like it in...we do written paper copies, psychic broadcasts and super deluxe mail, although we do need large donations for eligibility for the latter, and its very slow..."

Well, providing this tip still has email, just send the subscription request to prof.vengeance@hatemail.co.uk. I'll confirm once I get back and the time machine's up and running again.

"Are you guys Fress....I mean Fallen? Errr... two years ago there was a black hole heading towards Earth Zero.... the great Lord left seclusion to go stop it, but then something happened... no one is willing to say what.... and well.... *he walks a few steps out of the church*.... well that...

..."Well, no one is entirely sure, he's been around for much of the entire length of the world as far as we can tell, he has used several aliases, but the ancient texts mostly refer to him as Lord Doomforall... As to whether he is a messiah... it seems to vary with account, the oldest references are to that of a unifying conqueror, but in my own lifetime he has only been seen a few times to avert apparently seemingly unstoppable disasters, and has otherwise remained in solitude."

Doomforall!

Doomforall, Doomforall, Doomforall! It's always bloody Doomforall, the smug sparkly bastard! He's not even a proper villain, just some mopey twerp with a bathrobe and a Paul Daniels magic kit! Since when did he get top billing in the Church of Vengeance And Some Other People He Vaguely Knew?

"I mean, it's a cover up of some sort - it was widely announced that Doomforall stopped the black hole, and there were parties in the streets and whatnot,

Yep, that sounds like His Lordship all right. He stops a black hole and people throw him parties. I try to pull Scotland closer to the Bahamas and suddenly it's a "crime against nature"! Feh!

but then, suddenly there was a media blackout for a few days and no one has heard anything about the Lord since... None of the beings or ships who went up there returned, and that black spot appeared in the sky, and then that Gryphon turned up and was on the infonets, and shortly after that all the Powers started turning up to maintain the shield."

He lowers his voice conspiratorially

"The psycorps have been drafted to stop widespread panic, but the Church found out and let its members know..."

Hmph! Good riddance to bad rubbish! Wouldn't be surprised if the silly sorcerer accidentally threw the sun down the hole too. It would explain the rotten weather so far.

So Doomforall pops round to save you lot like the broody little "anti-hero" he is when he suddenly vanishes into thin air leaving everyone in a mad panic while the whole place goes to plop? Oh yes. That sounds like my Doomsy all right - and if he's involved in this, that can only mean headaches for everyone.

Right. Where's that tablet then? I'm finding out what the hell this prophecy is and then going to club the gent responsible for all this right round the napper till his grandchildren feel it.

[kodster]

( ...oh dear... *awaits the reprecussions from the Prof's rant*)