The Last Oddetsey

[Badnik96]

Phantasmic Slammer charges at the electric ogre dude and discovers he's much faster than before.

"rollin' around at the speed of sound, got places to go gotta FOLLOW MY RAINBOW"

[playzooki]

playzooki breathed

then he wondered where the other people had gone

then he ate more dinner.

then he wandered around vengeances castle, looking for something to do.

[majinb]

Aurelia holds her communicator. Forget about the police station down the road, she had a better idea.

"George? Yeah, lovely to hear your voice, hey, listen, I have rounded up a sleazy looking demon here, all unconscious and everything, and I was wondering if you could teleport him back to the castle and put him in whatever holding facilities the castle has. You could? Great. No, The Spanish Inquisition don't wanna teleport back just yet, we are celebrating our victory here together with a poor old lady and hazelnut cake. Yeah, long story."

...

After finishing the final slice of hazelnut cake, and a final goodbye to the poor old lady, The Spanish Inquisition gets their collective behinds back on Maurice Francois's tandem bike, to continue their path through this strange world. Their next destination, New Melded's most read newspaper!

[steven_mcg]

The team enters the building and follows the corridors through - it looks it was a fairly busy building until this situation went down, and would be well maintained if it wasn't for all the items people dropped during the shock of this assault. The lights are still on at this point, but appear to be on emergency power, while all the other technological gizmos this city is filled with are turned off. It is suspiciously quiet.

Eventually they find themselves heading on into the canteen - a room in the centre of the building with very minimal natural light, and as they enter the door is closed behind them. Several dozen hostages of various species are tied up to tables around an area of floor at the rear of the room, including some children. As they look around the room you can see the minions here:

A dark green human-sized rooster samurai
An Ogre with electrified knuckle dusters
A Wigglytuff necromancer
A tedious looking man with a sleazy little moustache holding loads of postcards

However, the leader is clearly the huge bulky figure in dark armour who stands in the centre of the room. On closer inspection it appears to be made of some sort of textured black plastic, and be secured with white joints.

"Not who I was trying to lure out, but you needed to die at some point anyway" the strange figure declares. "I can't have some people resistant to the rift running around, it would be bad form"

There is something about his voice - the quality of his voice doesn't sound quite normal, there is something a bit weird about it - though their questions are answered almost immediatly

"I am the Death of VHS, bearer of the Rift - any last words before you die?"

You mean, other than "is that it"? If you seriously think a Dark Age monstrosity is going to depose the world's greatest criminal mind with something as banal as a hostage job, you've got another thing coming.

Specifically, this sword in this cane. Woopah!

Come on, you ruffians! Have at thee!

(Finally, a piece of the action!

(First things first, secure the hostages. I can use the Thoughtsteel to create shielding for the poor sods till the fight's over, but it may not be enough for everyone. One of the bigger lads can play defence in that case.

(Me, I'll leave the armoured tape recorder to the hothead and avoid the necromancer where I can. Ruddy magic. I doubt I can match the rooster in fisticuffs - never thought I'd have to say that again - so I'll stick with the other two.

(I can use try short-circuiting the ogre's dusters with either the mecro-morph, cane lasers or my own manual tools. He's stronger, but I doubt he can catch someone as light-footed as me so easily if I have to disable them up close. Once his weapons are gone, cool his brain with an ice beam and give him a concussive blast for the KO. That or feed him infinite Malteasers till he throws up. Wouldn't mind a distraction from one of you lot.

(As for the old git with the postcards, God knows what he's here for. Given the rest of this place, though, he must have some strange, horrifying gimmick about him. Blast the bugger with concussive sonic waves before he can put his tricks into motion and find out what's so fascinating about those cards after the fight. If he tries anything funny beforehand, tank with my bunker forcefield and bullet shield until either I think of something dashed clever or someone else does.

For great victory!

(D20 Roll: 3)

[NB: Alex, I'm away tomorrow until Tuesday, so no updates from me till then. Soz. ]

[NFX]

Glancing from one minion to the next, the parrot was more than a little nervous about what was actually going to happen. The main guy might have said they were going to die, but that didn't mean they were going to die. Did it? Suddenly, the blue and yellow robot shot off towards the ogre, Eudial threw a fireball into the face of the leader, and Twitch realised that the intrepid, mismatched group were actually in a proper, full-fledged fight now.

Instinctively, he gave a squawk and flew up into the air, before realising that he had actual wings of steel now. Sort of. The leading edges of his wings. The funny pink ball-looking creature didn't seem especially tough, so Twitch figured that would be a good test of what his new weaponry could actually do. From his high vantage point, the macaw shot down towards the floor, before levelling himself out and swooping along the ground, making a beeline for the small round pink thing...

(D20 Roll: 17)

[kodster]

(D20 roll: 16

people not in the fight don't have to do this)

[shadowflare]

Marisa drew out her hakkero, threw some mushroom powder in it, and locked and loaded on the postcard master.

"Eat lazer!"
(Rolled an 11.)

[alex_holt]

Professor Vengeance, Epsilon, Twitch, Eudial, Marisa, Phantasmic Slammer

Vs.

Samurai Chicken, Ogre, Wigglituff Necromancer, Tedious postcard man and the Death of VHS

Eudial has little time for works, and immediately prepares a fiery blast to incinerate the armoured Death of VHS, but even as the bolt appears to be about to connect, a whirring sound emanates from the Black and White armour and the fire bolt reverses down its trajectory and hits back into Eudial sending her spinning backwards although unharmed. It apparently has a rewind function…

Vengeance however has a little better luck, spinning his thoughtsteel blade towards the hostages it morphs into a protective bubble to keep them safe from the fight. Even as he spins to the Ogre he notices that creature isn’t entirely what it initially appeared, a complex suit of power armour is unfolding outwards from those giant knuckle dusters. It’s managed to cover his, arms, shoulders and neck before Vengeance manages to cut some of the actuators with a slice from his cane-laser – still, he only narrowly manages to avoid the massive armoured right hook that demolishes the pillar he had been standing by.

Twitch makes a beeline for the Wigglytuff – even as several assorted creatures begin to rise from the ground around it – but Twitches new blades shatter a spectral Flowerpot man, decapitate a vampire-gerbil and disembowel a zombie Kligon. However even as his blades are inches from his target, he feels an impact from the side. A postcard. Even as he is impacted he feels teleportation sickness as he finds himself suddenly in a paddy field farming mandrakes. Another impact a moment later and he finds himself on a snowy mountaintop, observing Yetis playing backgammon. A third card hits and falls to the ground, next to him, and he realizes that it shows the exact place he now finds himself – a rundown seaside town with low employment rates and miserable weather.

He contacts the castle on his communicator, but apparently there will be a bit of recalibrating before he can teleport back to the fight. However, as he is waiting, he notices something nearby – a small but perfectly formed conch shell. Something about it radiates magic, and he picks it up and stuffs it in his satchel and waits for the teleporter…

Back in the fight, mere moments after he had vanished Twitch off to God knows where, the man with the tedious little moustache is slammed backwards through a window even as he turns to defend himself: a flurry of postcards displaying the beaches of Gallifrey, the Historical Sites of Lemuria and Milton Keynes are incinerated as the man is blasted backwards through the window behind him and down to the pavement below with a thud by the impact of Marisa's laser…

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART II

[alex_holt]

PLAYZOOKI

Playzooki wanders round for a while but being of a sort who is not easily impressed and very easily terrified, nothing particularly catches his attention. However when he returns to the kitchen he finds the chef robot unplugged and all the food gone!

Replugging the robot in, it reports that some dastardly little mammals of some sort have stolen the food!

KHLOE

Khloe has absorbed so much fascinating information about the Church of Vengeance that even the very enthusiastic Cucumberoo is getting very slightly weirded out by things. Currently she is watching in rapture as Cardinal Zeeb Ra, the Zebra (Zebras are not known for their originality of names) gives a fascinating account of a meeting of Vengeance and a being called the Wootinator.

[alex_holt]

AURELIA

After a bit of communication with George, a little while later the unconscious form of the Demon demaerialises as the Castles' systems bring him into the holding cells deep in its depths. The team enjoy some delicious hazelnut cake before considering their next options.

After a while, they say their farewells to the old lady, and continue onwards! Aurelia herself asks around, and after consulting a Flotilla of Tiny Floating Galleons, discovers that the biggest newpaper in the Melded News-Hawk. After a bit of cycling around the city, and they arrive a the gates of the News Hawk Offices - a dramatic glass tower with a very noticable feature on the top. A series of portals are opening and closing constantly allowing various alternate universe versions of the mechanical bird that is the mascot to fly across and then vanish - golden ones, silver ones, rusted ones, ones of energy, ones of fire, all briefly making their appearances.

The front door is wide open, and the reception inside is open to the public.