The Last Oddetsey

[Badnik96]

Phantasmic Slammer's first thoughts upon gaining sentience were that it had become unconfortably warm. He notices some things came through the teleporter with him (though he doesn't know how he got teleported or why) and picks them up.

Wait, picking things up?

Slammer notices he has managed to lift the HDPE rolling pin without firing its flipper or even touching anything. "Odd. Telekinesis? I guess stranger things have happened, like me being able to think all of a sudden. I wonder what's going on back home."

Slammer can't really find much use for the rolling pin, though it does remind him of an old rival. Then he notices the paint and reads the label.

"Elemental resistance. Now that's cool."

Phantasmic Slammer applies the paint using his telekinesis, and it applies a bright sheen to the outside of Slammer. The paint seems to dry near-instantly somehow. Slammer eyes the hairbrushes and remote control human, but can't see much of a use for each. Not knowing how many things he can pick up at a time, he tries to pick up the rolling pin, controller for the human and the hairbrush at the same time, but can only pick up two. He fires his flipper and places the hairbrush inside his chassis, hoping it will come in handy later. He attempts to maneuver the remote controlled human, but it seems its batteries are dead, so he places it on top of his chassis. He notices the motley crew of people that appeared to have come through the teleporter with him, and drives over, hoping they won't try to kill him or anything.

"Hello, hopefully-kind people, could someone explain to me where I am, or why I seem to be able to talk?"

[GF93]

Phantasmic Slammer's first thoughts upon gaining sentience were that it had become unconfortably warm. He notices some things came through the teleporter with him (though he doesn't know how he got teleported or why) and picks them up.

Wait, picking things up?

Slammer notices he has managed to lift the HDPE rolling pin without firing its flipper or even touching anything. "Odd. Telekinesis? I guess stranger things have happened, like me being able to think all of a sudden. I wonder what's going on back home."

Slammer can't really find much use for the rolling pin, though it does remind him of an old rival. Then he notices the paint and reads the label.

"Elemental resistance. Now that's cool."

Phantasmic Slammer applies the paint using his telekinesis, and it applies a bright sheen to the outside of Slammer. The paint seems to dry near-instantly somehow. Slammer eyes the hairbrushes and remote control human, but can't see much of a use for each. Not knowing how many things he can pick up at a time, he tries to pick up the rolling pin, controller for the human and the hairbrush at the same time, but can only pick up two. He fires his flipper and places the hairbrush inside his chassis, hoping it will come in handy later. He attempts to maneuver the remote controlled human, but it seems its batteries are dead, so he places it on top of his chassis. He notices the motley crew of people that appeared to have come through the teleporter with him, and drives over, hoping they won't try to kill him or anything.

"Hello, hopefully-kind people, could someone explain to me where I am, or why I seem to be able to talk?"

Epsilon walked over to Phantasmic Slammer. "Commencing quick analysis." the Android commented, as it examined the blue and yellow-clad machine.
"Model identified as: P_S- Model 8349823857238.
Origin: Team Ignition, United States of America.
Weight: 150kg.
Armament: Four-Bar Pneumatic Lifting Arm. Has recently gained sentience, unusual for a four-wheeled vehicle."

Epsilon finished. "It does not appear to be hostile."

[NFX]

The macaw stood alongside Eudial, frantically shaking his wings and head. He was sure he would get used to teleportation, but he would much prefer sticking to self-powered flight for now. Once he had gotten over the shock of his first teleport, he took a look at the scene in front of him. There was clearly a stand-off between the Confectionery Combatants Committee and the Farthing Wood Elite Task Force, and he assumed the rift source was probably somewhere nearby. Twitch glanced up towards the witch and the robot, then to Marisa, Vengy and the other robot, before trying to figure out how he c-wait, what?

The parrot performed an excellent example of the double take towards the newcomer to their group, inadvertantly jumping back into Eudial's leg. He scampered around behind the lady in red, wondering how on earth it was levitating the stuff that had appeared alongside it. And how was it able to talk?

[steven_mcg]

The teleporters activate and suddenly there is a strange noise of whirring as if something isn't quite right, and then the teleporters fire off and the team vanish.

A few moments later they materialise outside the building where the siege is going on - a fairly unremarkable building, although the fact that one of the huge colossal armoured figures from earlier is still powering the shield nearby. There is a police cordon around the area, and a Pigeon in uniform appears to be directing the police there using a megaphone. Several of the tough officers are towards the front - a small three headed dragon, a weremoose and a cyborg Orang utan hold the front line. A sentient danish pastry with a sniper rifle is perched on a nearby roof.

Ooof! Eergh. Blecch. That's the trouble with this world. I never know if what I'm seeing is really there or if it's just these teleports scrambling my brain. Ahhhhh. Transmat sickness. Worst kind.

However, more odd is the fact a blue and yellow combat robot seems to have dropped out of the teleporter onto the concrete behind them, and bizarrely seems to be acting as if it has sentience. A hardox rolling pin, a set of magical hairstyling combs that can create an hairstyle instantly, some elementally resistant adaptive paint (will shift to resist fire, electricity, cold or magic after attacked by each) and a small remote controlled American man.

You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. A fully sentient robotic combat machine with a magical makeup kit and a remote-controlled cowboy. Transmat-induced insanity or real-life insanity?

[pokes with cane]

Oh camshafts....

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

(Hey ho, we can always use more killer robots on our side! I'll present some of my manual tools as a gesture of camaraderie and see if this mechro-morph doohickymawotsit can fix any ailments it might have.)

[kodster]

I can't take much more of this...

That line went through Eudial's mind repeatedly, even though she believed all this trouble would soon be worth it. Okay, Epsilon was one thing; androids were believable. This... this pretty much made the least sense of anything Eudial had encountered previously, even the Sucker and the Cucumberoo. (OOC: She doesn't notice the sentient danish pastry with the sniper rifle, otherwise she'd pretty much faint. :P)

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

Of course. Vengeance would be accustomed to such unfamiliarity. Best to leave it to him. "Y-yeah, good idea," said Eudial faintly. She looked around, and (reluctantly) asked the officers what was going on.

[kodster]

*Slammer points to the roof of the building where the sniper pastry is located using the rolling pin*

"I'm surprised you didn't see it before. It's pretty hard to miss."

(OOC: She doesn't notice the sentient danish pastry with the sniper rifle, otherwise she'd pretty much faint. :P)

Well. That did it. The nonsense was just too much. Eudial keeled over and was out like a light. (OOC: Shame on you, Eudial!)

[Badnik96]

Leave this to me, everyone - I speak mechanical death machine!

"I can speak English just fine, thanks. You look like a pretty technically-minded guy, do you have any idea how I gained sentience? One moment I'm just sitting on the Team Ignition workbench, waiting for my builder to get back from Jamaica, and next thing I know I'm here in some other universe and I can talk and stuff! This is pretty cool and all but I'd like to get back to where I belong before my builder gets back. He'd be fairly upset if I went missing."

"Oh yeah, can one of you guys hold this stuff for me?" *gestures to the rolling pin, RC human and hairbrushes* "I don't have much use for them and I can only carry two things at a time."

"Say, what's wrong with the fiery lady? She ok?"

[alex_holt]

AURELIA

"Awwright guv, no need to get shirty, ain't that right me ol' dearie?" The demon drawls
"I don think you needs to be making trouble here if you know what I mean"

The Demon is notably increasing size and bulk - and notably his talons are getting much wider, longer and sharper while its tail is looking more like a mace.

TEAM Hostage Situation

At this point suddenly the doors of the building open up and a hostagd walks out... What can be best described as a 2 dimensional abstract old lady with skin not unlike the surface of an oil painting.

"Errrerreeeeeeee the bad men, they say they'll release.everyone if you send those guys in armed" her voice quavers. "They say they just want to talk"

[kodster]

Grateful for the chance to escape the peculiarity (for a moment anyway), Eudial scoffed. She had had enough talk at the castle. But at least here was a ready-made excuse to confront the bastard(s).

"Armed, huh? Mustn't be wanting much of a talk if they're expecting a fight," said Eudial, sneering. "But I'll bite. Let's see what they want."

[Badnik96]

"People holding hostages never want to just talk. This is a trap, I'm sure of it. Then again, this is a universe where a sentient danish pastry holding a sniper rifle is normal so whatever. I'll follow you guys, whatever you want to do."