Neo vs. Yoda on a Boat vs. Kyubey

Tell them that if they tell you their greatest wish, you can grant it, but in return, turn them into magical girls. Er. At least Magical guy and or Magical Green verticaly challenged Jedi. Their misery will do well to put off the heat death of the universe, and if they use their power on each other too much and turn into 'Witches' -- though I guess in this case Wizards?-- all the better!
After granting wishes, sit there and stare at them. If they don't give Kyubey the wish, continue asking and point out how easy it would be to win if you just made them Magical. Use creepy weasel alien tech powers and appear wherever they are looking if they look away.
If someone gets their wish granted, and they are really annoying, take resulting soul gem and run exactly 501 miles away from the person so the body falls over.
If murderedated, be sure to respawn and eat body for maximum creepyness.


Lancer vs. A jar or pickled Oddish vs. Inflatable novelty hammer

GAE BOLG ALL THE THINGS.

Shino as Kenshiro vs. Chuck Norris riding a motorbike made of human skulls vs. A phone calling Orange's customer service vs. SPARTAAAAAA

If it's one thing Shino doesn't like, is a lot of shouting. Apologise lots, try to hang up the phone (or smash it or something.) and poke ALL the pressure points, see what makes bloody gibs.
Be sure to lose shirt at some point, get many Manly Points. Cry a bit inside.

Ovan on helium, Master Chief, and Judas Volturnus vs. Old-age Cosmic Temminck's Stint Knight, Stormtrooper in a car park, and Three Kerbal astronauts

Unlock arm, scream about sister and other things in funny voice or just be really cryptic in funny voice, get a bit angry when people laugh, and if all else fails, and Tri-Edge can't carve up people, carve up the ground.
Because let's face it, that symbol is cool.