The second-to-last of the Mohicans vs. A genetically engineered superbeing made from the DNA of all vapourboteers ever

Ugh, everyone always talking of Uncas, last of Mohicans. Uncas this, Uncas that, they say, Uncas Uncas Uncas. Ugh. They not know how Uncas become the last of Mohicans, they not know how he got rid of... second-to-last of Mohicans! Ugh! Me got bought out of Mohicans Incorporated, Uncan buy all my shares when he and I were only Mohicans left! Uncas wanted traditional Indian company, I wanted move forward! One my ideas was modernize tomahawk, Uncas stopped me! Years later, my tomahawk design was on fighting contraption called Terrorhurtz! Me think Uncas sold my idea, to keep it out of our company and to make money! Me never saw any money of it! Me innovative indian! Me and others, but Uncas, las of the Mohicans, got rid of all! He stubborn Mohican, why he got all worship?! Traditional and Pure they call him! Ugh! Fighting against new regime, against modernization! Ugh! Mohican must embrace modernization! Real modernization! Tomahawk of Terrorhurtz! Shield of Hypno-Disc! Not fake, vapour modernization, such as that of vapourboteers! Ugh! Vapourboteer hated by me and Uncas alike! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!