The Joke Thread

[geeza]

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.

[malivoirec]

A builder was using a peice of heavy machinery on top of a building untill suddenly WOOSH, he lost control of it and it cut his ear off. He turned the machine off and went downstairs to find it. His friend who was downstairs at the time picked up an ear and said I think this is yours but the builder said Its not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it.

[aero_storm]

Knock Knock
Whos there
Europe
Europe who?
No - Youre a Poo!

[craig_anto]

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

to put out fires

why do elephants have flat feet?

to stamp out burning ducks

[swanaldo]

Alexander i have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it......

[malivoirec]

Knock Knock

Pacientoctor Ive been bitten by a great big alsation with rabies
Doctor:Where did it bite you?
PacientOn my leg
Doctorid you put anything on it?
Pacient:No he ate it as it was.

Whats the difference between a constipated owl and a bad marksman?
One can shoot but cant hit, but the other can hoot but cant ...

[liambryant]

Whats the difference between a rabbit doing excersise and a rabbit with a flower up its nose?

Ones a fit bunny, the others a bit funny!

[liambryant]

What is round, white and giggles?
A Tickled Onion!

Whats the worst time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-Hurty!

Whats the most dangerous vegetable to have on a boat?
A Leak!

Why cant cavemen hear a pteranadon go to the toilet?
Because it has a silent Pee!

[razerdave]

LMAO at Chris second one

[aero_storm]

Knock Knock..........