Breaking News from My House

Hello again, guys

I might be starting my own Fanfiction tournament later on. Details will be said later on. I might add the details on this thread or another

why not post a battle in the How Can I Improve thread first? :)

Your welcome to use any of my robots http://strickenone.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=teamwwhttp://strickenone.proboards99.com/i...i?board=teamww

And mine! :proud:

http://strickenone.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=heavieshttp://strickenone.proboards99.com/i...?board=heavies

And Liam gives good advice: try out battles in the How Can I Improve thread, that way we can give you pointers. Also, Alex Holt has a thread that has tips on writing good battles. :)

Was going to say youre welcome to use mine as well, but seem to have been beaten to it :proud:

I can however blatantly plug this thing that I had a hand in writing: http://strickenone.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=gen&action=display&thread=460http://strickenone.proboards99.com/i...lay&thread=460 and hope that is good for advice.

Here is my first fight on the FRA Forum. Its also the first Robot Combat fight Ive shown to people outside my family. The fight will take place in the Robot Wars S7 Arena. There wont be any house robots (Sorry about that)

Mute VS Supernova

3-2-1: Activate!

Mute is the faster of the two and that may well come in handy before Supernovas disc reaches full speed. Mute charges in its direction! Is that wise? Sparks fly as Mute fires its front flipper and Supernova is launched onto its side. The disc is still spinning and it tears a massive chunk out of the arena floor. Luckily, the impact knocked it back on its wheels. The disc is up to full speed again. Supernova is just waiting in the CPZ now. Mute comes in again and flips Supernova against the wall. Theyre trying to get it out of the arena, but Supernovas weight and shape make it impossible. It crashes down to Earth again and chases Mute to the centre of the arena. Sparks fly as the disc makes contact with the steel armour, but no visible damage yet. Mute flips it against the wall, the disc smashes the plexiglass, but the fight can continue because its not damaged too severley. The last 10 seconds on the clock count down. Supernova hits Mute in the back. Mute pushes it against the wall, against the angle grinder. Itll go to the judges. Too close to call

Cease!

Since both robots were working at the end, the judges will decide who wins

For my judging system, I will be using the Robot Wars Criteria (Style, Control, Damage and Aggression). They are each worth 3 points

Mute

Style: Flipped Supernova 3 times and pushed it against the angle grinder at the end of the fight (3)

Control: Didnt really time its attacks and went in straight away (1)

Damage: With a flipper, you cant really cause much damage, so no points there (0)

Aggression: Was on top all the battle and the final push gives it all 3 points (3)

Total Score: 7

Supernova

Style: Got one last hit on Mute before being pushed into the wall (1)

Control: Didnt have a change to get away. It did wait for Mute to come at it, though (2)

Damage: Caused some sparks, but not any visible damage. Damage to the arena does not count:proud: (1)

Aggression: Mute was over it like a rash most of the time. That last hit gives it some credit (1)

Total Score: 5

Mute wins the fight. Congratulations to them!

How was this fight? Please comment

Seemed pretty good in regards to realism, and a forward hinged flipper won so w00t for that :proud:

The amount of detail could use some improvement though, the fight was a bit short and more detail rather than just saying who hit what would lengthen it and make it more pleasurable to read...Richard actually put it much better than I could in a thread way back when: http://www.fightingrobots.co.uk/discus/messages/760/4917.html?1130425890http://www.fightingrobots.co.uk/disc...tml?1130425890
Just dont go overkill with the detail, thats the preserve of me and Matty :P

All in all, a rather encouraging start though :)

excuse me? Overkill?!?!?!

;)

Hi ELLIOT, time for me to shine some light,

To begin with, the battle is very clear and very realistic. You read it, you understand it. The fact that it reads so well is also because its short, but in fact it may be too short as I will point out later.

Biggest downside IMO is that the Judges Decission is longer than the battle itself. Were supposed to believe an actual full-length battle has occured. For one thing I think your JD has too much text. For such a short and clear battle I think its a bit pointless to give such long descriptions in the JDs, I mean the descriptions are almost as long and detailed as the entire battle :proud:.

Above all I like the realism, make your battles more detailed and I think youre JDs abit more compact and you should be fine

Thank you for the comments, guys. Martijn, youre right about the JDs. I will shorten them in the future. Expect my tournament soon:)

If possible, reserve me a spot. :proud:

That is a very good first battle Elliot, I am certain they will get even better as time goes by and Ill be happy to enter a tournament of yours. I recomend you do what Joey did and start with a small 8 robot knockout tournament just to get used to writing and organising before you move onto to bigger things. :) It is what I did, and now I am writing the 128-robot Robot SMASH!! Series III: Lock3d and Load3d :proud:

Overall, your writing styles very good, Elliot, with satisfying depictions of the action. My only problems are that the fights too short, and the sentences The disc is up to full speed again. Supernova is just waiting in the CPZ now. seem a bit dull and out of place.

Is it possible to reserve a spot in your tournament Elliot?

Me too :proud: Very good writing style - its kind of thriller novel-esque style of writing - suspense building through descriptions and actions. Basically, I like it a lot :proud: