The Slapstick League

Hello, Nick here, you might remember me from hits such as... well none really.

Im announcing the birth of an experimental competition. Ill write all the fights. Enter new or old, real or fic, 100 kg robots, and theyll compete in a single-elimination tournament.

There is a simple, completely clean arena with no discernable traps in it whatsoever, other than the spikes on the sides. No house robots. 20x20m.

I promise to write the fights as accurately as I possibly can, but I can only write as accurate as your stats allow. No requirements though. Youre welcome to try submitting a robot with four wheels and no other description, but be warned, you may not like what I put on it.

There is one catch: I will make the fights completely impossible, improbable, and impractical. Expect ludicrous outcomes and ridiculous denial of physics. Im serious when I say this: dont take any of it seriously.

This is just testing the water, so 16 entries at most. Begin!

How many entries per person? 1? 2?

Hmm..... Ill enter nodachi

http://www.alexjholt.tkwww.alexjholt.tk

Name: Kustom

Shape: Invertible box

Speed: 20 MPH

Weapon 1: A front drum, spinning at 46947 RPM using a customised motor and drive train to give it near instant acceleration, able to rip any kind of armour to shreds.

Armour: 3 MM of a customised alloy, which is lighter than Polycarb but completely invincible.

Drive: 4-wheel drive running off a customised drive-train, providing it with 100 HP

GC: 0 all over thanks to customised skirts, which will not be gotten under by ANYTHING. The only reason this can move is because it has such a powerful drive.

Strengths: Everything is customised

Weaknesses: Reality.

:proud:

Didnt expect to see me again so soon? Well I only got a little break and I saw this tournament. Hmm...Ill enter Ivy. I dont expect to win anything, I just want to kick Kustoms big, shiny, metallic arse. :proud:

Dont worry about e-mailing the fights, Nick. Every post on here goes to my e-mail address. Thats how I saw this thread come into being. :wink:

Ivys stats can be found here. http://strickenone.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1145 113703http://strickenone.proboards99.com/i...display&thread =1145113703

EDIT: This is Ivys first real tournament, because Ryujin, the descendant, never competed. PLEASE make her fight(s) good. :proud:

(Message edited by kodster on May 16, 2006)

quote:

How many entries per person? 1? 2?

Excellent! Thanks for entering. Your entry stats are being processed.

Current robots:

-Nodachi
-How Many Entries
-Kustom
-Ivy

were a quarter of the way there, so keep em coming. If any of you want to enter a second, you can.

a wacky tournament hey? Ill enter A Night at the Bar for this

Name - A Night at the Bar

Shape - A wide cylinder-shaped axlebot

Weight - 100 Kilogram

Speed - 24 km/h (15mph, geared for control)

Dimensions - 25x110x25 cm

Ground Clearance - Well, it€™s an axlebot€¦

Power - 2 S28-400 Magmotors at 24 volt

Movement - Two axlebot wheels, 25cm diameter

Turning Circle - Zero

Weaponry - In the middle of the cylinder, at 5 cm above the floor, is a 60 cm hardox bar with thick tungsten teeth on it. It weighs 25 kilogram and is powered by a B42-500Magmotor at 36 volt, spinning at 2000 rpm, giving it a nice spin up time. It€™s able to poop 55 kJ of energy straight into any opponent, so ha! The bar is mounted in such a way that it sticks out from the front and from the back, basically making it a double-headed spinning bar.

The only reason my bot can keep on driving normally even though it has only two wheels on the floor is because the centre of gravity is somewhere near the middle of the two teeth.

Armour - If you split the cylinder in halve, horizontally, the upper part of it is 4,5 mm hardox, and the lower part 5 mm, which is to centre the weight around the lower part, which is needed for the srimech. The insides are made shockproof with rubber, so it won€™t be destroyed by it€™s own weapon.

Srimech - Seeing there is a huge bar spinning in front and at the back of the bot, chances are a wedge won€™t be able to get underneath it from there anyway.
IF it is flipped, the bar will stop spinning and glide inside the cylinder, where it perfectly fits. At that point the bot is an almost perfect cylinder, and will be able to roll. The centre of gravity will roll in such a way that it will point downwards. As I designed it, the centre of gravity should be somewhere in the middle of the tungsten teeth, therefore it will roll to the position shown on the pick, and the bar will be put on again.

Strenghts - Devastating weaponry sticking out at the front and back, at only 5 cm above the floor. Should be able to fend off wedges.
Weakness - Can bounce off though armour, or the arena wall, or even the arena floor when the cylinder topples. And seeing my ONLY contact with the floor is the two wheels, this might become a rocking chair on steroids. Won€™t be pushing very much either.

Here€™s a pic; http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/madbull/Bar.gifhttp://jupiter.walagata.com/w/madbull/Bar.gif

The Windmill for this

http://farr.proboards21.com/index.cgi?board=targeted&action=display&thread=112 5588619http://farr.proboards21.com/index.cg...y&thread=11255 88619

Ive been waiting for this for a long time. Give us a bit to throw an entry together and you can definately count me in. :)

Edit: Am I to presume the arena is enclosed with no OOTAs? Maybe its time to reveal my new bar spinner Influence...

(Message edited by andrewj on May 16, 2006)

It dont get much wackier than this:

TAILS: http://fvagroup.proboards39.com/index.cgi?board=braveheart&action=display&thread=1 124711267http://fvagroup.proboards39.com/inde...display&thread =1124711267

Nice to see youre still actually alive, Nick. :proud:

Hmm...by logic, it may be best to enter Orka, or Die-Ceratops; them being more experienced. But since that doesnt really apply, Obliteration it is!

OBLITERATION

Weight: 100 kilos
Body Shape: Revolutionist
Speed: 5mph
TC: 0
GC: 5mm all the way round. It has to be.
Wheels: 8 inner (4 on top, 4 below)
Armour: 7mm titanium
Power: It drives on 3x 12v batteries plus a couple of Magmotors. For the weaponary, the power matches Phrizbee.
Colour: Dark blue with tinges of black and brown.
Weapons: This robot is a full body spinner. The teeth are increibally sharp. It spins at about 500 rpm, and does damage similar to Phrizbee.
Srimech: Unusual for a FBS, this robot runs inverted.
Inspiration: It sounded cool. It also sounds like a ride at an amusment park, if you ask me.
Strengths: Body! Need I say more?
Weaknessess: Rather slow, First timer

BIO
Obliteration has the disposition of a train wreck many times over. Though he prefers to take his time around the arena, his super powerful spinning body delivers a nasty blow. Obliteration is a first stringer, and considers himself A closer - And he doesnt like having his photo taken for some reason! Watch out for this guy - hes no sweet pleasent ride let me tell you!

There are OOTAs. The arena has a low wall and a moat, with a standard shell of polycarb encasing everything.

(Message edited by parassyte on May 16, 2006)

Ill enter my favourite, most realistic design currently in my collection:

Name: Mass Disctruction Revolution (MDR)
Motivation: Wheels
Speed: 10.5MPH
Ground Clearance: 10mm
Weight: 100kg
Height: 140mm
Length: 700mm
Width: 700mm
Weapon: MDR sports a nifty 25.69kg Titanium Spinning Rim. The spinning rim is powered by a C40 Magmotor on 36v and is geared 5:1, rotating the spinning shell at 1200rpm and should spin up in around 2 seconds to max speed.
Drive: 2 x S28 Magmotors on 36v geared 12:1 onto a 140mm diameter wheel. Wheels are coated in urethane rubber to get more traction. The combined drive has 8HP peak power.
Batteries: 120 x 3600mAh NiCad Cells made into 36v packs. Produces 36v @ 14.4Amp/Hours
Armor: 5mm Aluminium top and bottom.
Notes: Invertible and easily to drive.

Strengths: Spinning weapon can attack/defend from any direction and has a moderately good 4WD drive train.
Weakness: High ground clearance might leave it susceptible to wedges and flippers. Rammers may try to box rush.

There are OOTAs. The arena has a low wall and a moat, with a standard shell of polycarb encasing everything.
So you count my question about the tourtament an entry without even answering it, but you count Andys as a question?

well, he did state you were allowed to enter a second robot, effectively answering your question...

and you could always replace How many entries with anothor robot I think, otherwise just call one of your vapours How many entries during this tournament :proud:

EDIT: just been browsing through Kodys team of vapourbots, I think its great to have such a fairly good and new team in the sports, dontcha think?

(Message edited by MajinB on May 17, 2006)

Andy entered Influence, if you recall.

And unless he gives it stats, itll either be the energizer bunny, or everything I ever entered.

Im feeling very un-inspirational at the moment, so I threw these stats together while half asleep...

Wedga Triton

Shape: Sort of box shaped with sloped side and rear, the front end is scooped and contains the flipping arm inside it.
Dimensions: 800mm x 700mm x 180mm (Length x Width x Height)
Weight: 100kgs (should be around that with 1% allowance and fuel)
Motivation: Four internal Ali wheels with a Vulkolan treaded tyre.
Drive: Two LEM130 Lynch Motors powered by 120x 3600mAh NiCad cells producing 36v and around 17hp.
Speed: Geared to go around 15mph, so moderately fast but still controllable.
Turning Circle: 0m (tank style steering)
Ground Clearance: 0mm under the front scoop and 10mm at the sides and back when skirts are not in place. When skirts are fitted there is pretty much 0mm all the way round.
Skirts: Hinged with a rotational joint at the bottom of the wedges to give a bit more protection against rear and side wedge/flipper attacks. Are sprung loaded, but no torsion stuff, just to give a bit of resistance.
Armour: 3.25mm Hardox front scoop, sides/top/bottom/rear all 6mm Titanium monocoque. Skirting is also 3.25mm Hardox.
Weapons: A rear hinged central flipping arm. Made of 4mm Hardox and goes across the top of the body and then rests comfortably inside the front scoop. This is so if a spinner hits the scoop, the arm doesn€™t get snapped clean off. It€™s powered by a nice 100 stroke 80mm bore ram and fed by CO2 gas at 145psi contained inside 2x 2.2kg canisters. This should give at least 30 flips in a fight, which is plenty. The decent drive train and scoop/wedge combinations can make it a good pushbot too.
SRIMECH: If anything ever gets under it to flip, the arm can easily right it.

Martijn: Yeah, I noticed Kodys been busy too. Only looked at a couple but glad to see people are still making vapourbots.

Meh...
Anti-Kustom
Weight: 0kg
Speed: A google times a google a google times of a kilometer per second...Or a whole damn lot. NOT customized, made from scratch since Im just that awesome and magical.
Armor: A google times a google a google times yard thick uber hardox..just the thinnest amount possible weighs nothing and is invincible.
Weapon: A enchanted Spinning disc of unheard of might X 100,000. Spins at you guessed it, a google times a google a google times RPM per second, with sharp enough teeth to slice through anything like paper, even if it was only going at the slowest speed possible.
Ground Clearence: - a google times a google a google times...you were expecting otherwise? I enchanted this espically for getting under Kustom, but it can get under anything else equally as well.
The batteries will keep it going forever. I dont need to tell you how much the voltage is. :proud:
Strengths: It destroys everything, and destroys Kustom a google times a google a google times worse. :proud: Screw customization!
Weaknesses: Well, if you can OOTA or pit it by some random act of Satan...:proud:

quote:

Weaknesses: Well, if you can OOTA or pit it by some random act of Satan...

Ill enter A Random Act Of Satan as my second bot please

Another robot? Well, Im not sure any of my other robots would be...well, stupid enough to compete.

I KNOW! Ill enter this robot, made ESPECIALLY for tournaments like these.

IDIOT

WEIGHT: 1 kilo
BODY SHAPE: Box
SPEED: 2mph
TC: 3m
GC: 5 inches.
WHEELS: 4 wheels made out of wood.
ARMOUR: 3mm cardboard.
POWER: One slightly used battery.
COLOUR: White with an archery target painted on it.
WEAPONS: Feather duster, mobile phone that plays the Crazy Frog theme tune.
SRIMECH: God.
INSPIRATION: What inspiration?
STRENGTHS: Err...it moves.
WEAKNESSESS: Itself!

BIO
Errr...skip it!

I was bored, OK? Besides, this isnt the first sacrificial robot around, is it?

two more

anyone else who wants a second entry will be out of luck after that.

(Message edited by parassyte on May 17, 2006)

Whats with all the Googlisms, Tony? :proud:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googolhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Googol

Ding ding! Clear the line, cos here comes Toby! :proud:

http://fvagroup.proboards39.com/index.cgi?board=braveheart&action=display&thread=1 124711337http://fvagroup.proboards39.com/inde...display&thread =1124711337

Oh and pics of both entries can be found on my profile pic as ever.

Okay, then Ill enter It Ends Now as my second entry. Tournament closed! :proud:

Stats here:
http://strickenone.proboards99.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1145 67760http://strickenone.proboards99.com/i...display&thread =114567760

[To let you all know, Im trying to find breaks in between studying and school so I can post here. Today I was successful. :)]

EDIT: Thanks for the compliments Martijn and Andy. :)

(Message edited by kodster on May 17, 2006)

So heres who we have, and heres the lineup.
Ill try to complete the fights as quickly as possible.

Kustom - Frank
How Many Entries? - Anthony

A Random Act of Satan - Martijn
Anti-Kustom - Anthony

Influence - Andrew
It Ends Now - Kody

Tails - Other Steven
Mass Disctruction Revolution - Evil Tom Roper

A Night at the Bar - Martijn
Obliteration - Chris

Wedga Triton - Andrew
The Windmill for This - Other Alex

Idiot - Chris
Ivy - Kodys dead great grandstepfather

Nodachi - Alex H
Toby - Steven

and were ready to fight some... things



(Message edited by parassyte on May 18, 2006)

as for stats...

A Random Act of Satan is a parrot

a Norwegian Blue

Psh, Anti-Kustom can just tear a parrot in two, even if its only going at the speed of light :proud:

Oh great..I just realized I made ANti Kustom DAMn slow...XD

Ryujin was a robot made long before.

Ivy - shes the next generation of Ryujin.

Just my 2 cents.

EDIT: Oh yeah, tactics. :proud:

For It Ends Now, Ill just wait until the influence has stopped influencing. Then smash it to bits. :proud:

for Ivy...meh, shell wait too, until Idiot destroys himself, given the name. :proud: Back-up plan: AGGRESSION KILLS. :wink:

(Message edited by kodster on May 18, 2006)

(Message edited by kodster on May 18, 2006)

Something tells me entering tactics is a waste of time for this tourney...

Doesnt hurt. I like to be prepared. :wink:

Hmm...Ivy cant attack me if I dont attack her. If that doesnt work, I guess Id be able to call in the Plunderbird boys and get them to sing in Kodys control booth. That PLUS the Crazy Frog theme tune ought to do it.

With Obliteration, just spin up and attack. Having said that, Ive just realised there could be a risk of self-destruction in this tournament. Meh. What do I care? Oblys young, itd do him good to get some experience. Besides, hell probably be in better shape than Idiot.

Kustom, the fearsom drum thing by Frank apparently, vs How Many Entries, a giant 50 mm titanium dome with a kilobots two-wheel drivetrain in the middle, by Anthony

€¦5...4...3!

Kustom races out of the black square with its completely sensible aggressive weapon, as HME slowly waddles out of the yellow square, around the non-existant ramps, which only appeared there because of the heavy concentration of mercury in the atmosphere. HME turns a bit, and goes through the purple imaginary ramps, and Kustom follows, turning fast to angle its feasibly working drum into a weak spot on HMEs armour. It misses, due to there being actually no weak spot in the entire lamination of 50 mm thick titanium, and instead hits the titanium.

Its only a glancing blow though, because it clearly did no damage, as HME bounces away and rolls on the round custom-cut rim thanks to its unusually high centre of gravity, and Kustom pushes itself up in the air a bit due to the magnetic effects of the ferrous drum and the giant, pointless, electromagnet in the floor below it. It soon finds ground again, and drives 2 cubits, then back one, then turns to the side, then does a 270 degree turn in the opposite direction to anticipate HMEs coming around from the side facing the central arena, and the drum once again does nothing to the supurior armour of its competitor, except knock itself back a bit.

Kustom recovers partially, and tries a new strategy, turning backwards to ram its rear wedge under HMEs... self.

This would work, except Kustom almost misses HME completely. In half-arena long rush towards HME, Frank miscalculated the tragectory, causing Kustom to hit its opponent dead on, run right under it, out the back and into a wall, as if HME had never left the floor. Deciding to try this with less speed Frank positions Kustom again, only for HME to ram into IT, although it effectively benches the giant titanium tit on one of Kustoms very modest and realistic skirts by about a millimetre, the only clearance the ill-conceived robot has.

Kustom cant move apparently, because this push stuck its rear right corner under a spike. So it rotates around the stuck point, shaking HME off. HME backs up and watches, but Kustom manages to wiggle free. HME tries to encircle its opponent, while Kustom drives forward and turns, keeping the wedge facing How Many Entries. Kustom scrapes under the smooth edge of the dome, and pushes HME into the wall near the green square diagonally. The leverage from the spikes on the wall, and the smooth efficient custom armour of both robots cause HME to flip upside down, and barrel roll (bobbing into the air) on its round side across the arena like a coin. It hits the other end, bounces and double-flips onto its wheels again. The dome is an effective self-righting mechanism, clearly.

Kustom drives over to lunge its moderately decent offensive weapon at the disoriented foe, and does nothing other than make sparks. Frank backs off and waits, seeing that How Many Entries might be incapacitated. Indeed, Anthony doesn€™t remember charging the robot at any time. Actually, he doesn€™t even remember building it. All he remembers is being poorer suddenly. Poor Anthony! His supposed entry only had the charge in the capacitor left over from the factory. How Many Entries is counted out.

Kustom moves on to the second round!


------------------------------
And now for its arch-nemesis, Anti-Kustom, the anti-celebrity driven by anti-roboteer Anthony, vs A Random Act of Satan!

€¦5!


The audience is a bit confused. Once the match starts, absolutely no fighting occurs. Anti-Kustom apparently defies gravity, and flies quickly to the top of the ceiling due to air pressure and centrifugal force. It€™s stuck! A Random Act of Satan is actually a pile of bricks in a wheelbarrow. Seconds go by€¦ minutes€¦ Anti-Kustom remains stuck at the top of the arena. The refs consider pausing the match to get it down, but nobody has a high enough ladder. A Random Act of Satan remains completely motionless in its square, due to the utter lack of any motile mechanism in it known to man. Suddenly a wheel pops off and the wheelbarrow falls onto its side, spilling the bricks. This is not looking good for Martijn€™s team! A few of the bricks crack when they hit the floor, sending tiny brick pieces everywhere for people to inhale and get cancer from. Some of the bricks remain intact. The match is a draw, as both robots are counted out a few seconds after the match starts, and neither has done anything to the other.

Anti-Kustom and A Random Act of Satan move on to the second round!


Two fights down for this round, eleven, plus or minus four standard deviations to go!

(Message edited by parassyte on May 18, 2006)

that bad eh? :proud:

Yup:proud:

Im scared for my two bots now :proud:

I really wish I had put more thought into my entries, I hope that can be remedied with a second tournament later

I wish I had put less thought into mine :proud:

I wish I had put ANY thought into mine:proud:

Youll see why the next ones taking a while when I post it.