The Last Oddetsey

Twitch had been hovering near the door for the duration of the conversation between The Professor and the cucumberoo. He, like much of the group, had been dutifully listening in, but while Eudial, Leland and the other human seemed to be mulling over what information had been imparted, Twitch's expression remained oddly fixed. Much like his magnet to the door handle, which he still hadn't noticed. The cucumberoo and The Professor seemed quite content to have their back and forth banter, while Twitch remained by the door of the church, able to wrap his feathered head around not one single word of what was being said.

"There's just one part of this I don't quite fully understand..." he told the group, crest folding itself down a little, "...everything."

(errrr.... what do i do????)

"could i have a newsletter too? Ill have the email one."

"Well, the Grand Cathedral is the other side of the city... but the trains haven't been running since they diverted the power into the shields so you'll have to find your own way there. Also....errrrr....."

He hesitates as if Vengeance's rant has actually convinced him of his authenticity

"Well we had some strange deliveries the other week, we are only a small church but we were told to house some relics until someone came to get them, and that it'd be obvious who they are for. There is one for you Almighty Vengeance in the room to the back of the church, that seems to be operated by some sort of elaborate scanning and such, and there were 16 boxes and nine keys - of which you may have one each, apparently the key will be destroyed when you open the box of your choice."

Vengeance's room appears to a polished metal sphere hovering at waist high and with markings to place hands upon it.

The room of the others consists of a number of heavy duty metal caskets with a keyhole in each, they appear to have pictures representing the same lesser prophets as had statues outside, plus five others, in total:

An Elven looking woman with scarred arms appearing to cast some sort of spell
A stereotypical australian, complete with cork hat, a boomerang in one hand and a skewer of shrimps in the other
A Vampire who gives the impression of thinking he was very cool with bleached hair, shade and a katana
A human man with lightning coming to one hand and extracting a fish from his pocket with another
A huge samurai troll who looks even more muscled than usual for his species
A despairing looking zombie
A strange catfish like creature who looks far more intelligent than a catfish like creature has a right to
A dagger wielding hispanic woman
A cybernetic assassin looking man
A Metapenguin
A young boy surrounded by electricity
A the most French man any of the party has ever seen
A marrowak
A Rock Musician
A dinosaur
A rapier weilding elf

Spod and Aurelias keys won't be available until they visit here themselves.

Eudial blinked. Keys? And who were these statues? Intriguing... specifically the Elven looking woman and the hispanic woman stood out most... if only to Eudial. She was taking in the words of the creature slowly, as if trying to put it all together.

Almost absent-mindedly, she took a key and stood looking between the two pictures and respective boxes. Back in the other room, the Elven woman's statue alone had seemed to give off a powerful aura, but Eudial also sensed a burning willpower from the hispanic woman's statue. They were just statues, how could this be?

After some deliberation, Eudial went and opened the Elven woman's casket.

Gaunt looked closely at all the caskets. This whole thing seemed absurd. At any rate there didn't seem to be much in the way of determining what the casket would contain so he decided to pick one at random. The one with the Metapenguin seemed to mentally call out to him and he took the key and opened it.

Playzooki didnt know which to choose. He waited, until other people chose boxes so he could narrow it down.

Twitch was in way over his head. Still all but clueless as to what was going on. Still, sticking with the group seemed to be the way to go. At least they were all in the same boat, more or less. As he examined the caskets, he was drawn to the drawing of a strange looking bipedal creature with a skull with ears for a head, and a bone in one hand. He wasn't sure why, maybe it looked somehow friendlier than the rest. It certainly looked friendlier than the catfish type thing. Smug piece of <expletive>.

Grabbing a key with his magnet ("Whoopee, it finally came in handy!" his inner monologue read), he flew towards his chosen casket, lowered it towards the keyhole...and missed. Coming down to land, he picked up the key in his beak instead, and - after a few moments clumsily trying to align it correctly - opened up the casket. Not having hands was becoming quite the nuisance for him, it turned out...

The three who look their keys opened up their chosen caskets and found that they all contained a basic set of utility items:

100 credits (around £100)
A com system connected to each other for communicating at a distant
A watch counting down to a specific date (which would appear, in real world terms, to be the same day as Midnight GMT on the 30th of April)

Each container also contains one other item:

Eudial's casket contains a blood stained knife that appears to be a powerful charged battery of magic, albeit of a kind that causes her skin to itch. It would seem to be of a holy nature so using this energy would presumably be super effective against any sort of unholy things.

Leland Gaunt finds that his container contains a waistcoat, which seems to grant immunity to any level of cold you could find on earth, and also seems to have a finely made telescopic harpoon hidden in an inner pocket along with a number of tiny marble sized smoke bombs.

As Twitches casket opens it initially seems to contain a huge skull of a Marowack which must weigh as much as Twitch himself, however, even as he looks at it, it reforms into a far smaller helmet that would fit as a helmet on his own head, and seems impossibly hard.

Eudial blinked rather rapidly and carefully removed the bloody blade from the casket. She clearly felt the weapon exuding copious amounts of holy energy... so much so that it was irritating her skin... a lot. Wait, why a holy weapon? She was evil! Was this going to be like a double-edged sword, so to speak? Quickly she sheathed it to her black beltline and tried really hard to ignore her heavily itching wrists now, pocketing the other objects as well.

"I feel... weird," said Eudial lamely. Then she went on, more loudly, "But whatever. I see we have a time to go by, now. This cannot be just a coincidence." She looked at Gaunt and the others.

Gaunt removed the basic supplies from chest. Some currency! That could come in handy if they were able to find some kine of shop or barter location. He had the bargaining skills Arab traders could only dream of after all. The communicator was a nice little tidbit. The watch now. It was counting down to to a specific times. Countdowns. So now they were on some kind of time limit.

Then he saw the waistcoat. It seemed a bit underwhelming at first, but he put it on all the same. Instantly even the slightly chilled room felt perfectly temperate. He removed the coat. The temperature went back to normal. He put it back on again. Perfect. Well now. Then he looked in the pockets. There was a collapsible harpoon. A fairly rudimentary weapon, but it was better than not having anything at all to defend himself with anymore. There were also some small marble like objects in another pocket. A swirling smoke was within them. Smoke bombs. Again fairly useful for someone like him who didn't favor fighting.

He turned and saw Eudial fidgeting uncomfortably with a bloody knife. There seemed to be a sense of goodness that was radiating from it that was slightly irritating Gaunt even from a distance. As useful as a knife could be (especially a powerful one) he didn't want any part of that blade.

"So, a countdown now?" Gaunt said. "It's more than we new even seconds ago, but I'm not sure I'm relieved that we still don't know what it's for. I'll welcome the supplies though. I've been thinking about buying a new coat for years."

"You got a coat?" Twitch asked Leland, lifting his head out of the casket. The macaw was now sporting a bone white helmet that looked as if it had been tailor-made for him. There were gaps for his eyes and his beak, but everything else was covered. His question, though, was slightly muffled, as he had elected to pick up the communicator with his beak.

Okay, not having hands was now a real pain. The magnet and cassette were fine, the helmet he could wear, and the watch seemed like it might fit loosely around the leg that didn't have the tag on it. But holding the communicator in his mouth made it almost comedically redundant, and then there was what he imagined was currency. Being a bird, he didn't really have any manner of carrying it around. "Has anybody got a bag or something?" he inquired, placing the communicator on the ground in front of him.

playzooki decided to go eenie meenie minie mo bla bla bla and chose the rock musician thingy, and opened it,

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Originally Posted by The Cumberoo

"Well, the Grand Cathedral is the other side of the city... but the trains haven't been running since they diverted the power into the shields so you'll have to find your own way there. Also....errrrr....."

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Not a problem. I have an excellent sense of direction - or I will do once I cobble a GPS together from all this rubbish! You couldn't possibly write down some directions, my good crispy kangaroo chum? I wouldn't mind taking in the old place on our way out of town.

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Originally Posted by The Cumberoo

"Well we had some strange deliveries the other week, we are only a small church but we were told to house some relics until someone came to get them, and that it'd be obvious who they are for. There is one for you Almighty Vengeance in the room to the back of the church, that seems to be operated by some sort of elaborate scanning and such, and there were 16 boxes and nine keys - of which you may have one each, apparently the key will be destroyed when you open the box of your choice."

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Ooh, tributes. How very generous. You won't mind, will you? K, thanks, bye.

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Originally Posted by Our Humble Narrator

Vengeance's room appears to a polished metal sphere hovering at waist high and with markings to place hands upon it.

---

(Well, this is anticlimactic. And more than a little suspect.)

(I know there are gloves in my suit jacket, but I'm not entirely sure how well they'd hold up against 50,000v of surprise electrical feedback. No, I think I'll let my little robot friend scan the bugger - it should only take a few minutes to upgrade him for just that - and make sure it's not a big, shiny trap before I lay hands on it. If he gives the all-clear, though, I'll go right ahead and rip that thing open like a Kinder egg!)

Guided by her angelic plight, still a little bit shaken by the recent events that took place on the mountain, Aurelia is drawn to the nearest church. She was pleased to see the same was somehow true for most of her fellow adventurers.

She joined her party full of good intentions, but her eyes immediately wandered off towards the keys and the caskets. She had intended to inform everyone of what happened on the mountain. She had intended to ask what happened to the rocky one, and what happened to the rest of them since they had split up. She intended about the Old Worlds Club, the Void Archon, the seemingly masked chanting-yet-not-chanting creatures. She had intended what was up with the dead cat outside, the pantless ducks, the statues. She had intended to ask the party if they had considered the villainous Professor Vengeance's doubtful motivations...

... well she couldn't let that one pass...

"Have you considered the villainous Professor Vengeance's doubtful motivations?"

Her eyes gazed upon the keys and the caskets again...

"I'll take the French one!"

Playzooki extracts a jacket from the casket, and immediately all eyes in the room are upon him as the thing he pulls out the most sequinned object that has been produced in the multiverse. Even the sequins on the sequins have sequins. A note that falls out of it suggests that it is designed to be bullet proof, fire proof and stabbing weapon resistant, which is kind of necessary in that it makes the wearer the complete centre of attention in a room, in any context at all, be it romantic or target for assassination. It also has several pockets which still smell of the residue of illicit substances.

The door shuts behind Vengeance giving him complete privacy.

Arriving suddenly out of nowhere, Aurelia quickly is drawn to the casket of Maurice Francois, and on opening it up he finds a bizarre artifact - a ten seater collapsible bicycle where all the internal tubing seems to be filled with some ancient and particularly potent wine. A stopper on the handlebar seems to be how you extract this ludicrous vintage.

Professor Vengeance successfully modifies his little butlerbot and the robot detects no immediate threats from the sphere. He hesitantly places his hands on it and suddenly the sphere doesn't feel quite so solid - it flows in liquid metal form around and onto Vengeances hands before forming into a particularly dapper pocketwatch. A quick test reveals this to be thoughtsteel - a superhard metal that morphs into whatever shape the owner requires of it. However, from the middle of this sphere drops a tiny glowing object which hits the floor and begins to project up a hologram. One unmistakably of the face of a very elderly Professor Reginald Fortescue Vengeance (Esq.)

"So... you took your time..."

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Originally Posted by alex_holt

__________________________________________________ _______

SPOD:

Sprondinkle fills you in that you are probably a faller, and that as this is an alternate dimension, "Earth in the 22nd Century" is a fairly meaningless description. It is possibly to get home, but only a few beings in the history of the World have managed it and that was pretty much all in ancient history that that travelling happened - Frank Goacher, Lord Doomforall and Professor Vengeance. Sprondinkle is very clear that he wouldn't like to be messing around with anything left over by them.

Other than that, he reveals you are in a neighbourhood known as the Devil's Sock Draw, and that pretty much the same is going on here as has always gone on here - vandalism, graffiti, muggings, drugs, dub-step, watching The Only Way is Essex and other despicable crimes.

---

(Professor vengeance! That was the weird bloke from before!) "What else do you know about this Professor Vengence? Do you know anything more about how those people escaped and how I can do the same?"

Spod glances round the shop to see if be can find anything he wants to trade for, he looks for something like a map, books or mobile tablets which he can use to find a way home.

Sprondinkle cringes "Why would you want to know about him? He's ancient history, hasn't been seen in thousands of years. A reeeeal nasty piece of work, would be saving the world one minute and trying to take it over the next, wouldn't catch me going anywhere the likes of that guy!"

As for map... perhaps I can interest you in a geolocational earwig? It's the last one I have left, very rare and hard to get hold of these days - will let you have perfect knowledge of where you are at all times!"

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Originally Posted by Our Humble Narrator

The door shuts behind Vengeance giving him complete privacy.

...Professor Vengeance successfully modifies his little butlerbot and the robot detects no immediate threats from the sphere. He hesitantly places his hands on it and suddenly the sphere doesn't feel quite so solid - it flows in liquid metal form around and onto Vengeances hands before forming into a particularly dapper pocketwatch. A quick test reveals this to be thoughtsteel - a superhard metal that morphs into whatever shape the owner requires of it.

---

Fascinating. A mimetic polyalloy operating under subconscious control. I am going to turn you into so many blunt objects while I'm stuck here!

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Originally Posted by Our Humble Narrator

However, from the middle of this sphere drops a tiny glowing object which hits the floor and begins to project up a hologram. One unmistakably of the face of a very elderly Professor Reginald Fortescue Vengeance (Esq.)

"So... you took your time..."

---

Oh bugger. ><

OK. Let's just go with this. If you really are me from the future, you'll know that I'm not terribly keen on surprises like these. So before we get into the whole Old Spock/New Spock nonsense, prove your credentials. Tell me something only Reginald Vengeance would know. My guilty pleasure pop song, my dream bride and honeymoon, my secret hiding place for all the Malteasers so Dr Kaos doesn't scoff them all, the manky Scots git; anything, I don't mind at all! Just whisper it in my ear and then I can decide whether or not to throw this floating football into the wall or not.

And if you are indeed the real McCoy, what are you doing here and what's going on? Are you pulling a paradox to get us out of this lunacy? I must admit having your own world faith rather loses its allure when the whole multiverse is about to go 'pop'.

"Well yes that goes without saying - I wouldn't trust ghostly spectral old me if I appeared out of the blue - which is why I quickly point out two things before I fail to answer your barrage of questions. Firstly, I'm not actually you - I'm one of those mental imprint thingies - you know - Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude deals. Secondly, I'm actually a younger you. Yes. The Face. I know. You've been to this universe before. Twice! Fortunately for you escaping it was a whole Narnia type deal - get out and de-ages you, though apparently it may cause severe permanent damage to most of the memories between getting here and getting out. Apparently you must have thought it worth the risk, though bugger me if I know why, you didn't see fit to copy me that completely.

Anyway, according to my computers you've got the deliveries - took a bit to wrangle those to here, it should have included some special watches - they are counting down to the point where the forces outside the shield will break through and begin the chain reaction that will destroy the multiverse. Not something I'm thrilled by even if I am only a simulation. I don't know what exactly is going on, but the readings suggest that thing up there has the same energy signature Doomforall's void staff. It's probably his fault somehow. On the plus side, if you save the multiverse from him, that is both a win over him and probably will net you loads of people signing fealty to you!".

Cleo was still distressed by the levitating cat from earlier, but she seemed more relaxed by Aurelia's presence.

"I was worried about you... Where did you go? Where's Caspasian?"

Cleo remained intrigued about the telepathic message and the psychic wave she had felt and wondered if the Cucumberoo could help.

"What else can you tell me about the measures in place to stop widespread panic?"

She then picked up one of the keys in her mouth and scanned the remaining metal caskets. Something seemed appealing about the strange catfish-like creature, so she awkwardly began to open that box.

(Woah... what even is this? Ooh a label. blah blah fireproof, bulletproof and anti stabbing weapon? Wow...)

playzooki was rather stunned as he had never seen anything as valuable.

Cleo recieves a vial of liquid whose label suggests it will somehow improve her psionic powers on consumption.

Professor Vengeance is given a street map of the city, and the Church and the Cathedral are both circled.

Okay, this was getting unbearable. Eudial's arms were really starting to bother her. If an anime sweatdrop could have appeared above her head, it would have. "God damn it! My arms... what's happening?!" she panicked. "Does anyone have any itch reliever???"

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"God damn it! My arms... what's happening?!" she panicked. "Does anyone have any itch reliever???"

---

Gaunt's eye's lit up! Finally the chance at making a sale had arrived! He pulled the mysterious bottle of aftershave out of one of his pockets and waved his hand over it. The label on it seemed to change slightly.

"Itch reliever?" Gaunt asked. "Well not completely. This is actually mostly meant for burns I believe, but in a pinch would do for other kinds of irritation."

This was only a lie at face value. Gaunt's products strongly favored the placebo effect. If she wanted it to relieve her pain, it would. For someone else? Not so much.

"I'd be more than willing to give it to you." Gaunt then put on his most charming salesmen smile "I would only ask the small compensation of, say, 10 of these credits we've found."

The aftershave was completely worthless to him, and 10 credits was enough of a compensation so as to not seem outlandish and appear a bargain for the relief he was offering. Ordinarily he would add on a prank here, but there was no value in causing mischief (at least not with the information he had to work with), so he would settle for what he really needed: more supplies.

"What do you say my dear? Do we have a deal?"

Relief! It was what Eudial wanted so badly, and it was so near. And anyway 10 credits seemed like a logical trade-off. What would she be able to get in this weird universe with these credits anyway? But as she rummaged through her belongings, a particularly nasty scrape finally broke through her skin, and her blood tickled out a bit. She winced; as she did so, her fingers hit something not the fabric out of her outfit. And at that touch, the merest thought of an echo passed through her mind.

Don't trust any of the others, especially Vengeance.

That was true. But then again, Eudial argued in her mind, Gaunt had no reason to be so devious. Cheap pranks were not beyond him, but he would gain nothing from it. Then again, she had beheld his true form already, and wouldn't put it past him to try and profit for only himself. A demon's charm only went so far if they knew its true nature.

Truthfully, the itching pains were subsiding, though the bleeding cut stung Eudial like a mad hornet. She withdrew her hands and examined her arms for a moment. Then she looked up at the old salesman.

"It... appears that my pains have been but a passing memory," she simpered. "All except for... well..." she glanced at the cut, and then at the bottle. "Relieving itches is one thing, but putting that on an open wound would likely make it much worse, so I will have to turn down your offer... for now," Eudial added. Good save. "Nonetheless I will keep it in mind, should this return to trouble me. Don't auction it off to anyone else yet."

She looked up and growled, red-faced. If the other Witches dare found out about this, she would have all 4 of them roasted on a spit.

Marisa himm'd and hawww'd over her choices. She always kept coming back to the guy with the lightning and the fish though. How did he manage to get that fish to fit in his pants? The other choices looked interesting but if he could fit a fish in his pants what else could fit?!

Her choice made, Marisa went and grabbed her key.

Hearing Eudial complain about her burning hands, Marisa pondered a moment and asked, "Hey, why don't you go buy some gloves later or something? Maybe covering your hands would help with your knife problem. And then if that doesn't work you'll have burn heal AND nice gloves."

It sounded like a good idea to her, anyway.

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

"Well yes that goes without saying - I wouldn't trust ghostly spectral old me if I appeared out of the blue - which is why I quickly point out two things before I fail to answer your barrage of questions. Firstly, I'm not actually you - I'm one of those mental imprint thingies - you know - Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude deals. Secondly, I'm actually a younger you. Yes. The Face. I know. You've been to this universe before. Twice! Fortunately for you escaping it was a whole Narnia type deal - get out and de-ages you, though apparently it may cause severe permanent damage to most of the memories between getting here and getting out. Apparently you must have thought it worth the risk, though bugger me if I know why, you didn't see fit to copy me that completely.

---

An old me claiming to be a past me telling me I've been here before while overtly dodging the whole "why" thing? Yep, sounds like me all right.

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

Anyway, according to my computers you've got the deliveries - took a bit to wrangle those to here, it should have included some special watches - they are counting down to the point where the forces outside the shield will break through and begin the chain reaction that will destroy the multiverse. Not something I'm thrilled by even if I am only a simulation.

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Ahh, so you're responsible for our goody bags back in prison. That explains the exquisite taste in gifts at any rate. I must write down where you got that pocket-watch done before I leave this world and forget I was here to begin with.

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

I don't know what exactly is going on, but the readings suggest that thing up there has the same energy signature Doomforall's void staff. It's probably his fault somehow. On the plus side, if you save the multiverse from him, that is both a win over him and probably will net you loads of people signing fealty to you!".

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Doomforall! I knew that wimpy wizard was behind this idiocy! Well, as much as I hate to admit it, you may have a point on chipping in with the rescue effort. Being a superhero isn't half as much fun as supervillainy, but if Doomy's black hole bungle ravages reality there won't be anywhere left to have that fun.

Urgh. Fine. I'll be...slightly less than tolerable.

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Originally Posted by Our Humble Narrator

Professor Vengeance is given a street map of the city, and the Church and the Cathedral are both circled.

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Aha! Now we're getting somewhere! Now to get this whole relic nonsense sorted out!

I say, one more thing. You wouldn't have any proof for my, ah, "companions" that you're the genuine article, would you? I'm just think they'll have a hard time believing me if I burst through next door raving about how my elderly past self gave them their toys and that my pocket watch is really the clock to oblivion. Am I to assume I thought that far ahead, or will I have to play the cards close to the chest?

Marisa pulls out what appears to be a small satchel that was possibly originally made from an old pair of trousers. The item seems to be running low on power, and the very fact the fabric has survived these thousands of years is incredible. It appears to be able to produce one random item per (real world) day, although many of these items will be fish.

*******************

"Well my creator... I *could* tell everyone about the Venice Gallery incident... you know the one with the nuns, the fishnet stockings and the bactrian camel... I'm sure that would do massive good for our credibility, but if I *have* to prove myself..."

*The hologram smirks*

"On the downside, you give me more credit that I can claim. I mean that literally unfortunately. You programmed me to be incapable of lying to you, although just as capable as you at lying to anyone else. Until Doomforall vanished I was locked in his relic vaults, and it wasn't until he vanished that standards lapsed enough for me to effect an escape. Also, I can't claim any part in the items you recieved when you arrived in this world, those were all random things you accumulated from bouncing off other worlds on the way down to this one. On the plus side, a bunch of useful items from each implies that you are probably fairly awesome regardless of which dimension they are from. Although I have to say that personally you are probably better off crushing them and stealing any cool stuff they have.

I see a couple of ways forward here:

Go to Doomforall's vaults in the Cathedral, there is something there left for you, quite possibly by Doomforall himself. I don't know what it is though, and I wouldn't rule out it being some sort of trap.

The only group who definitly seem to know what's going on down here are the psy-corps, they seem to be repressing panic to keep the city moving, but when you have a brain that collects secret just by standing near them they are bound to be messed up in this.

Also, the defence seems to be being organized by the only planned arrival in centuries - a Gryphon named Anjushree, it turned up in the chambers and immediately involved itself in the defense effort, the suggestion being that we would all already be dead without it suggests it might be worth looking up.

Lastly, you might want to find out what you can about the Old Worlds Society, it's very difficult to track them down, but essentially they are a small group of survivors of the last multiverse. If nothing else knowing how to survive the end of this one is probably a good thing to know.

There may be other leads, but these are all I have right now - should I come up with anything, I can contact you through the watch.

Oh, and of course this goes without saying, but watch your back - from what I've seen so far a few members of your party would happily stab them in the back given the choice. Can I suggest making sure you remain as valuable to them as possible..."

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

"Well my creator... I *could* tell everyone about the Venice Gallery incident... you know the one with the nuns, the fishnet stockings and the bactrian camel... I'm sure that would do massive good for our credibility, but if I *have* to prove myself..."

*The hologram smirks*

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Oh yes, that is the me that I know and love.

...And I thought I'd agreed never to bring that up again? Not in public, anyway.

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

"On the downside, you give me more credit that I can claim. I mean that literally unfortunately. You programmed me to be incapable of lying to you, although just as capable as you at lying to anyone else. Until Doomforall vanished I was locked in his relic vaults, and it wasn't until he vanished that standards lapsed enough for me to effect an escape. Also, I can't claim any part in the items you recieved when you arrived in this world, those were all random things you accumulated from bouncing off other worlds on the way down to this one. On the plus side, a bunch of useful items from each implies that you are probably fairly awesome regardless of which dimension they are from. Although I have to say that personally you are probably better off crushing them and stealing any cool stuff they have.

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Oh well, free stuff is free stuff. And I'm as up for crushing and nicking as you are, my past future self, but you know what they say - "You're never alone with a Lackey".

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Originally Posted by Future!Prof Vengeance

"I see a couple of ways forward here:

Go to Doomforall's vaults in the Cathedral, there is something there left for you, quite possibly by Doomforall himself. I don't know what it is though, and I wouldn't rule out it being some sort of trap.

The only group who definitly seem to know what's going on down here are the psy-corps, they seem to be repressing panic to keep the city moving, but when you have a brain that collects secret just by standing near them they are bound to be messed up in this.

Also, the defence seems to be being organized by the only planned arrival in centuries - a Gryphon named Anjushree, it turned up in the chambers and immediately involved itself in the defense effort, the suggestion being that we would all already be dead without it suggests it might be worth looking up.

Lastly, you might want to find out what you can about the Old Worlds Society, it's very difficult to track them down, but essentially they are a small group of survivors of the last multiverse. If nothing else knowing how to survive the end of this one is probably a good thing to know.

There may be other leads, but these are all I have right now - should I come up with anything, I can contact you through the watch.

Oh, and of course this goes without saying, but watch your back - from what I've seen so far a few members of your party would happily stab them in the back given the choice. Can I suggest making sure you remain as valuable to them as possible..."

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Let's see. Cathedral vaults...brain police...General Gryphon...survivors of the previous multiverse. Heh. Previous multiverse. How very Adams of it all.

I don't know about that lot next door or that rotten old prophecy, but I'd sooner trust a doomsday weapon in my hands than any of the other weirdoes in this town. I'll see if I can wrangle a few of those Charlies over to West-Vengeance Abbey and loot the tombs.

And come on, me, when am I not invaluable? ;)

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Originally Posted by shadowflare

Hearing Eudial complain about her burning hands, Marisa pondered a moment and asked, "Hey, why don't you go buy some gloves later or something? Maybe covering your hands would help with your knife problem. And then if that doesn't work you'll have burn heal AND nice gloves."

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Ugh. This was the stereotypical witch. Pointed hat, broomstick, and all. Nothing at all reminiscent of the Witch group Eudial was part of... except for that hair. Which reminded her of... no, she mustn't let her mind wander over to that wench.

Eudial had intentionally avoided talking with Marisa, because of the blonde's silly demeanour, but now ignorance was not an option... especially since Marisa was trying to make a helpful suggestion. She turned her gaze onto Marisa, and chuckled darkly.

"Hmhmhm... aren't you the thoughtful one," said Eudial. "Well, while I do appreciate your concern, I think you'll find that such fashion would be a hindrance to me than a benefit. But thanks for the tip."

Turning away from Marisa and Gaunt, she took out the watch that had come from the casket, and examined it. Eudial suddenly realized that she had no idea what day, month, year it was, or even time of the hour, so this watch practically told her nothing. Great... well what good was this supposed to be?! Oh yeah... sighed Eudial, I have to ask somebody what the date is...

Raising her voice, she inquired "I'd like to know what specific date this is... if anyone knows, that is."

"Oh we both know we are the best that this party could have possibly hoped to get, but it's making sure that simple fact penerates their simple little minds. Oh and bear in mind that most of these tasks are likely to be fairly time consuming, may I suggest trying to set some of your more dependable minions on some tasks, which keeping the more volatile ones close to you. The pyromancer and the demon I suspect will mess things up if they are left to their own devices."

************

As the party leave the relic room, they find that the Cucumberoo is talking nervously to a new figure who has entered the room. It turns around to reveal itself to be an Alakazam wearing a lilac military looking uniform and some sort of glowing headband. It sneers at the party.

"I am Vortigon, 3rd Level Prefect of the Psi-Corp. I am here for the cat and the angel."

Gaunt was only mildly disappointed he hadn't been able to close the sale, but he replaced in his pocket and said brightly:

"Yes yes, another time perhaps. And speaking of time, unfortunately I can't speak for much more than the date before we ended up here. But suppose there's no way of knowing how long of a time transpired between then and now. In any case maybe the exact date isn't important. We're on their time now."

Gaunt gestured vaguely around.

"And it doesn't appear as though we have an abundance of it left."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by alex_holt

As the party leave the relic room, they find that the Cucumberoo is talking nervously to a new figure who has entered the room. It turns around to reveal itself to be an Alakazam wearing a lilac military looking uniform and some sort of glowing headband. It sneers at the party.

"I am Vortigon, 3rd Level Prefect of the Psi-Corp. I am here for the cat and the angel."

---

Aurelia positions herself on the massive bicycle she has just unfolded and wheels through the church towards the Alakazam. The Cucumberoo eyes her with what Aurelia thinks is disdain towards Aurelia driving her bike in a church.

"Say nothing, Cucumberoo. If this place dedicated to the worship of the villainous Professor Vengeance truly is a legitimate church, then as an angel I will well outrank you here. In the short time I have been here I have found that this church works in mysterious and sometimes outright unholy ways, but the inclusion of le grand Maurice Francois in your pantheon is one decision I support with every fiber in my body. As a herald of the Heavens I have seen le grand Maurice Francois join our ranks after he passed away in his final battle. I have seen no braver man, and to be riding his bicycle, in this church, is an honor that is only matched by the honor of drinking his wine, which I shall do shortly."

After hearing the Cucumberoo's response, which will undoubtedly be brought to life by our beloved gamemaster in the near future, turns herself towards the Alakazam that has just shown a specific interest in her and Cleo.

"Alakazam!
Some say that your brain can outperform a super-computer. Your intelligence quotient is said to be 5,000.
And that you can memorize anything. You never forget what you learn -- that's why you are so smart.
And that closing both your eyes heightens all your other senses. This enables you to use your abilities to their extremes.
And that your brain cells multiply continually until you die. As a result, you remember everything.
And that you have an IQ of 5000. You calculate many things in order to gain the edge in every battle.
And that your brain continually grows, making your head far too heavy to support with you neck. You hold your head up using your psychokinetic power instead.
And your brain continually grows, infinitely multiplying brain cells. This amazing brain gives you an astoundingly high IQ of 5,000. You have a thorough memory of everything that has occurred in the world.
And that while you have strong psychic abilities and high intelligence, your muscles are very weak. You use psychic power to move your body.
And that you do not like physical attacks very much. Instead, you freely use extra-sensory powers to defeat foes.
And that your brain can outperform a supercomputer. Your IQ (intelligence quotient) is said to be around 5,000.
And that your superb memory lets you recall everything you have experienced from birth. Your IQ exceeds 5,000.
And that your highly developed brain is on par with a supercomputer. You can use all forms of psychic abilities.
And that the spoons clutched in your hands are said to have been created by your psychic powers.
And that closing both your eyes heightens all your other senses. This enables you to use your abilities to their extremes.
And that your brain cells multiply continually until you die. As a result, you remember everything.
And that the spoons clutched in your hands are said to have been created by your psychic powers.
And that your brain cells multiply continually until you die. As a result, you remember everything.
And that your brain can outperform a supercomputer. Your IQ (intelligence quotient) is said to be around 5,000.
All I know is, you're called Vortigon.

Say what you wish to say."

(Yeah, I just used all of Alakazam's PokeDex entries, and yeah, that explains why some statements seem to appear more than once, sue Game Freak, not me.)

"Truely in any other circumstance I would disapprove of bicycles in my church, but, if this is really a bicycle of the revered Maurice Francois, most French of all Frenchman, Connoisseur or Croissants, Genius of Garlic, Exemplar of escargot, then for ever more this day shall be Francois Day in this church. Errr... that is is we live more than a year I guess...."

Meanwhile

Vortigon gives a cold look to Aurelia.

"I see you have memorised your Pokedex entries Seraphim. I am here to inform you that the Stars who gave themselves to the Void Archon to prolong our lives made a request on your half. They ask that you be introduced to the members of the Old Worlds Society. Personally, I don't feel that any of us should be attracting their attention. But you, and a maximum of two companions have been given clearance to be introduced to them, should you wish it".

Just to be clear, I am level 89 and will not permit any of you to harm our chances of survival. If you become a threat I will put you down. Permanently."

"What... iiiis... the Old Worlds Society? And what were those Stars?"

Vortigon rolls his eyes at you "The Stars were Stars, I just told you - anthropomorphic personifications of Stars. What do they teach you in the heavens these days"

*He sighs*

"The Old World Society is a Club in the Centre of the City, where the last survivors of the last multiverse meet. There aren't very many of them now, and they keep themselves to themselves for the most part. They are old, powerful and dangerous, and if it wasn't for the Stars apparently seeing some tiny hint of merit in you, we would not be having this conversation."

He sneers at you.

"Do you fancy some a capella singing Vortigon?"

While others were busy chattering about the signal on their wristwatches, or going against what he now - wearing the unusual helmet - deemed all good and decent protocol and riding a bicycle indoors, or......whatever Vengy was doing...Twitch was still at his casket, clawing fruitlessly at the small amount of currency within. This was getting nowhere, so he left his magnet in the casket, along with the currency, and flew over towards the Cucumberoo.

"Excuse me," he asked, "Do you have a bag that I can borrow?"

The Cucumberoo hands Twitch a small bag of holding, which is a small parrot suitable which only weighs as much as the heaviest item inside it.

*******************

ELSEWHERE

Spod peruses the shop, but before he can even think of making a trade Sprondinkle turns his weird robotic body towards him and addresses him.

"I am afraidddddd good rockmonster that we are now passttt closing time... we have to move on, yes, move on, too late to leave... too late indeed.. the end is too close to tarry."

The strange being begins to manically push buttons and pull levers that Spod hadn't even previously spotted around the room, hidden in odd places around the junkshop. Wind a crank on a fisher price toy. Pull a lever out a bedside light made of crystalised souls, chub the cheeks of a stuffed honey badger. Suddenly the whole room is filled with light...................................

*************************

The thugs outside cover their eyes as the shop de materialises in a flash of brilliant lights that cross the entire spectrum. There is now an empty building in a spot where moments before stood a shop. This is reasonably strange even for Melded, but as their target has now vanished from the face of the multiverse and headed off into parts unknown, they decide to go watch some TOWIE to full-fill their crime needs for the night.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Past Future Prof

"Oh we both know we are the best that this party could have possibly hoped to get, but it's making sure that simple fact penerates their simple little minds. Oh and bear in mind that most of these tasks are likely to be fairly time consuming, may I suggest trying to set some of your more dependable minions on some tasks, which keeping the more volatile ones close to you. The pyromancer and the demon I suspect will mess things up if they are left to their own devices."

---

Mmyes, they do seem the most potentially troublesome. I could swear one of them was a bloody angel too. Think I got off her good side a long time ago. I think I've wheedled into their 'tolerable' books by now, but I doubt it'll stay there for long. Bringing them back a weapon of mass destruction for our united arsenal ought to do the trick! Better than kicking about this dusty dump waiting for the Rapture at any rate.

Future Past Young Whatever Me, signing off!

(God, I look good.)

[storms triumphantly outside to join the rest of the party]

Ladies and gentlemen, I have had an epiphany. Not only have I been gifted this spiffy little polymorphic alloy, but I've learned some more about that ridiculous prophecy. There is an ancient relic of great power hidden in the cathedral on the other side of town and it is my intention to bring it back for our little aid mission for reality. I have no idea if it's a trap or not and doubtless I'll need you all alive for more dangerous fare later, so I'd better toddle off myself.

I know, I know. "Like we're really going to let the self-proclaimed supervillain we blatantly do not trust run away after some weapon of mass destruction". Perhaps a little team-building exercise is in order...

...

Oh, damn it! What the hell!

[thrusts his top hat into Eudial's hands]

Guard that thing with your very lives until I get back. I'll modify my little robot friend to keep track of your positions so I can catch up.

I mean it now! Not one little rip, understand? Your very lives. Hmph!

[creates a half-melted stovepipe hat from the Thoughtmetal and starts sauntering away]