Team Zlayers Presents: Return of ATTTWI!

Robosaurus vs. A pot containing essence of Dues Ex Machina

Speaks for itself.

Billy Lockhart vs. A robe and wizard€™s hat

Will cast a fireball!

Enchanted Leaf vs. A non-evil clone of Frank

Whatever Frank would do... except not evilly.

A pack of a million dormice trained to each have the fighting prowess of Batman and like the taste of everything imaginable vs. The Joker

Pah, the Joker is always beaten by one Batman, now he faces a million, albeit small and fuzzy.

Thomas the Tank Engine vs. A flying armoured shark with the anger of the entire internet community

Have you any idea how angry that is?

The unstoppable force vs. Lord DoomForAll

I shall not try to stop it, instead I shall let it pass on its way by opening up some portal to an alternate universe or time or soemthing, where it can carry on going, without ever stopping.

Jackie Beat vs. Squirrel Girl

For every one he throws away, three mroe shall coem to vex him!

A rambling old man who tells stories that dont go anywhere vs. Mini-Fridge

Well this reminds me of a story, when I was young there hadnt been a war for a few years, which lead to a massive upsurge in the parnsip industry, I was quite fond of parsnsips, so one day I went to the market and bought a few, only to find out that Id been short changed, I started heading back, but on the way saw an interesting shop which sold stamps, it turns out the owner of the shop once had a dream about a tree, except bigger than most, this wasnt particularly surprising and infact reminded me that the whole reason Id gone into town in the firstplace was because I wanted to look in the bookshop....

Wow, tactics for these battles are going to be hard... someof these battles are going to be really funny.

Ming vs. Butterfly Effect - Well, Ming has Super Speed on her side so it will be easy for her to get to that damned butterfly on the otherside of the world.

Solaria & Nightwing vs. The Alphabet - Solaria plans to find the one sentence in the world that contains all the letters of the alphabet only once and use it to make that sentence. Once the sentence is made and all the letters are busy spelling... what does she have left to fight?

Link vs. A Clone Of Franks Trousers - Their just pants... use my sword and cut them into little pieces then use my oil lamp to burn the pieces. Duh.

Rocky Raccoon vs. Liqud Nitrogen - I have no clue how to fight this battle.

Enchanted Leaf vs. A Segway - Since this leafe is enchanted, it can change its texture and shape so that it has a sharp point that will burst the segways tires.

Talim vs. Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar - Just to acrad on his drunk, delusionall butt.

Norbert The Rabies Infected Cat vs. Wikipedia - Norbert goes to attack the guys who own the Wikipedia server. Biting them to give them Rabies and then the owners go nutty and distroy the Wikipedia server. Distruction from within... ther perfect plan.

Evil Bunny vs. A Wireless Optical Mouse - Evil bunny mates with another evil bunny which makes many evil bunnies who maul and bit the optical mouse till its in itty-bitty pieces.

Should I? Oh, what the heck!

MINI-FRIDGES TACTICS
The old man will be too busy rambling to notice me bring out my hammer and smash him to pieces,


HIPPOS TACTICS
Bite the wheels off.

BARRY JRS TACTICS
If the clone is non-evil, CRUSH HIM!

BUTTERFLY EFFECTS TACTICS
Let it work. As it works with ALL butterflies, Ming is going to have to kill EVERY single butterfly in the world.

42S TACTICS
Sit there.

ELDER SWEARS TACTICS
Start cussing!

THOMASS TACTICS
Deploy the funny weapons first (such as the tickly thing and spanky thing), and move onto the more dangerous ones if he doesnt submit. Deploy ALL clusters immediately for the sake of it.

CBS TACTICS
Its so easy theres got to be a catch. So, what Im going to do is this...Ignore the duck, and take a trip to Hawaii.

I dont really think you need tactics for most of these :proud: so Ill only give tactics for those that may need it.

BILLY LOCKHART vs. A robe and a wizards hat
Billy will have a cup of coffee with one or more of the house fighters and/or people in the audience, and take it from there.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik vs. HAARDVARK
Ram him.

Aliens that are weak to water vs. LITHUANIA
Lithuania has lakes...

...good luck, people :wink:

Tactics where appropriate:

Homonculus vs. The Daleks - Just go Rose Tyler on them and delete them from existence, although doubtless theyll be back for the next series anyway.

Agent Smith vs. Joeys evil laptop - Infect it.

A pack of a million dormice trained to each have the fighting prowess of Batman and like the taste of everything imaginable vs. The Joker - If they like the taste of everything, theyll enjoy the poison Ill put down for them and die with a smile on their little faces.

Dr. Wily vs. Chocolate Ice-Cream - Build 8 robot masters and hide in a castle protected by a barrier. In order to bring down the barrier, the chocolate ice cream will have to defeat each robot master before going through at least 4 stages in the castle to even REACH Dr. Wily.

Frank Goacher vs. A rat - The plot twist of a hungry cat entering the arena should work here.

Pussycat vs. Superglue - Keep the claws sheathed and just bat it down a hole or something.

Tictacs:

ROBOSAURUS vs. A pot containing essence of Dues Ex Machina
I dont know what essence of Dues Ex Machina is (and a google search didnt help much) so Ill just hope its either flammable or crushable and Robosaurus can have its way

TIMOTHY JAMES SILLERY vs. The immovable object
Everyone knows the incredible power of TJS, the power to supremely p*** off/irk/annoy/generally inconvenice people so much they just wish he would be swallowed up by a black hole. TJS need only do what he is best at to make the immovable object want to move and get the hell outta there!

AN ANTONOV AN-225 vs. A hippopotamus
Bite its wheels off? But the AN-225 has the luxury of boasting....wait for it....a retractable undercarriage! (whod have thought it?) The An-225 will carry loads of giant white balls in its cargo hold and drop them when it flies over the hippo. If Hungry Hungry Hippo was anything to go by, the hippo will eat as many as possible (before other hippos get them) and then....well, I dont know what will happen then...

5-ALIVE BERRY BLAST vs. The Master
Assuming this is the Doctor Who Master and not the robot Master, he wont be able to resist a drink of Berry Blast with its cool refreshingness (believe it or not, I dont work for 5-Alive, I just really like the taste of it :))
Unsuspectingly, some will drop onto his laser screwdriver and short-circuit it, but it will matter not as Berry Blast will have been drunk by then :sad:

PIKACHU vs. Leos Cellphone
Well, we meet in this competition again Leo. Tactics for this, simple enough: Pikachu, Thunderbolt!!

MONTY PYTHONS KILLER RABBIT vs. Professor Vengeance
IIRC, Professor Vengeance is Steven McGregor in super-villain form and he lives in Glasgow, is that right? If so, shall we meet in Kelvingrove Park then Professor Vengeance? The rabbit will be waiting

A WIRELESS OPTICAL MOUSE vs. Evil Bunny
Wireless mouse blinds evil bunny with optical beam then attempts to strangle bunny with its cord. Oh wait, its wireless....bugger

BATTLE AXE (the Robots Live housebot) vs. English Dictionary + Thesaurus
Battle Axe will not like hearing its name being defined and then hearing alternative words for Battle and Axe. Itll grab and smash those books to pieces!

Ah, but if the hippo bites the wheels off BEFORE they retract...

Actually, I think I may well go ahead with your scheme, and have the hippo eat all your balls. You see, when hippos go, they flick it everywhere with their tails. After eating all those balls...you do the math.

Hmm, yeah I dont think jet engines will like taking in flying hippo poo....

ROUND 1
DR TRAN VS Hippos breath
Whatever a hippos breath smells like, it cant compare to the smell of hickory-smoked horse buttholes. Just get in there and f*** [him] up.

Albert Wesker VS STRONG BAD
Lets see how a mutated Wesker fares up to a furious Strong Mad. While these two duke it out, Strong Bad will use the lappy to find a Resident Evil strategy guide online and discover Weskers true weakness. Or a few cheat codes. :wink:
Worst comes to worst, bring on the Homestar Runner and have him perform the Butt Dance.

Slight problem. In no Resident Evil game has the player actually fought Wesker. Therefore the stratagy guide is a lie:proud: