yes
Printable View
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no
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And our final quarter final fight is between Twist Of Fate, Solstice 2.0 and Xianghua II, and Opened By Transfer.
Now, Dave sent his tactics for this fight in by carrier pigeon, but unfortunately I shot it repeatedly as it came in to land, and the tactics were too blood spattered for me to read. Not that it matters all that much, but anyway...
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: The person who took over Frank Goachers driving duties after he was sucked into the void, Dave Sheppard
Booth 2: Kody Kunz
3
2
1
ACTIVATE
Kodys robots immediately set off for the arena wall, as their mission is to attack the House Robots, which are secretly holding a meeting in a field in Norfolk where they plan to exterminate the population, and Solstice spins up and goes for the arena wall...
CRASH! A large section is torn clear of the barrier, and first Xianghua and then the spinning down Solstice quickly exit the arena. Unfortunately, being robots with low ground clearances, they immediately drive over an extension cord for the cameramans coffee machine, and as a result get beached, although it doesnt matter since the house robots, being robots, will lose their batteries before they make it as far as Lowestoft, never mind London, and so the world is safe.
Meanwhile, Twist OF Fate appears to be having difficulty spinning up its weapon, and Opened By Transfer comes in to investigate. However, as the two robots make contact with each other, a huge plot hole comes out of Twist Of Fate and swallows both robots up.
CEASE
The judges have a very difficult decision to make here behind their desks, and the roboteers are called to the podium to allow them time to choose. After a long period of deliberation and soul searching, the panel of judges decide, based on style, control, damage, and aggression, that they will watch Eastenders, but set the VCR to record Emmerdale as a compromise.
One of the camera crew than asks about the fight, and has to remind the judges who was in it. Noel Sharkey then decides that Opened By Transfer is the winner, based solely on the fact he liked the name better.
Opened By Transfer goes through to the semi finals!
And here are the lineups for those semi finals:
Woodpecker vs. Opened By Transfer
and
Brown Trousers Time vs. Splinter
Tactics and predictions, if you would be so kind?
Prediction: me to win by some involvement of a plot twist. :proud::proud::proud:
Yay!
Are those your tactics, Dave? :P
First job is to try and locate Opened by Transfer from wherever it ended up after the last fight :proud:
Any idea where that not-quite Russian size plot-hole led?
Ive talked with my sources, and they say it led to...*checks Google*...57 Maple Street, Prysyr Fllllemllylllylyl, Glamorganshire. Apparently the exit is in the downstairs bathroom.
Lemme guess...the LADIES bathroom. :mrgreen:
SEMI FINAL ONE
Woodpecker vs. Opened By Transfer
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: Dave Sheppard
Booth 2: Dan Stickler
3
2
1
ACTI-
Stop!
This, loyal readers, is where you come in. This is the chance for you to shine, to share in the glory of this tournament, and also a chance for me to get a cheap laugh without going to the trouble of actually writing a fight myself.
You shall each write your interpretation the rest of this fight, with one of the two machines that started the fight winning, and tomorrow I shall pick the one that made me laugh most (as measured on a scientific scale known as the Cokesquirtnostrilsometer) and that shall be considered as the canon end to the fight, with the person who wrote it recieving a mansion in the next life next door to Shane Swans. It doesnt have to be necessarily long, just random and funny.
So, my friends, get writing! :proud:
I just noticed that Chris is starting to use smileys much more than before. :proud:
OMG I CAN WRITE A FIGHT
Ill be back in 10 minutes. :proud:
*looks at clock*
Mr. Kunz? :proud:
Doh, sorry, got into a Messenger convo with Martijn, Chezza, and Melissa. My own fault, though. :proud:
*goes to writing board*
One of the reasons I havent got around to using it yet. :P
quote:
Woodpecker vs. Opened By Transfer
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: Dave Sheppard
Booth 2: Dan Stickler
3
2
1
ACTI-
Stop!
Suddenly, the lights go out, and everybody is plunged into complete darkness. As soon as this happens, Opened By Transfer drives straight into the wall, tearing it into shreds with its hardened-marmalade spinning disc it got after its encounter in a Hungarian juice-making factory. However since Opened By Transfer wasnt anywhere to be found at the start of the match, it means that he just ENTERED the arena. In some way this turns the lights back on. Woodpecker lurches forward, throwing a piece of shrapnel across the arena as it does so. The shrapnel collides with the other side wall, destroying it instantly. Craig Charles exclaims Let the lawsuits begin! and is immediately stricken down by a giant flying pie launched by Dave in the control booth, who is snickering madly. Of course, this gives Dan the perfect chance to attack while Dave is distracted, and Woodpecker collides with Opened By Transfer, stopping the disc with its axe. the marmalade is pierced through as Dave watches, sickened by this. Woodpecker tries to pull Opened By Transfer towards the pit but it got removed last time because it was the place of burial for Minesweeper, and through some plot twist Mark Elam became god of the underworld and claimed the pit as his own land. Currently a pack of eight-legged zebras with machine guns and bullets filled with potassium nitrite and the chemical uses to make cola fizzy, and silver teeth are shooting him down as we speak.
Back to the fight. Opened By Transfer pulls back on Woodpeckers axe, and suddenly it becomes dislodged. This helps Opened By Transfer as its disc is now fully revved up. Unfortunately due to gyroscopics it also sends Opened By Transfer spinning across the arena like a top. The folks of Strictly Come Dancing are impressed by this display and award the vapourbot a place in their show. Unfortunately Dave comes forward to protest since robots cant dance by themselves, but one look from one of the judges causes him to melt on the spot into a puddle of horseradish sauce. They then pick up Opened By Transfer and carry it away from the arena, narrowly dodging a blow from Woodpeckers axe that causes it to stick in the floor. Dan smacks his forehead.
Woodpecker advances to the Final!
(Message edited by kodster on May 09, 2008)
:rofl: Fantastic...definitely up to the high standards of something that weve come to expect of you :P
Anyone else? Its not really fair if Kody wins on account of being the only person in, is it?
LMFAO, that was awesome!
Heheheheh, thanks. :proud:
I dont want to be the only person who submits a battle. I demand to be fought on this! :P
That really depends on what you mean by Tomorrow. Because, right now where I live, its 11.11 at night. If you mean Tomorrow as in 00.00, then obviously I have no chance. If you mean Tomorrow as in early morning, then I might not be able to. But if you mean Tomorrow as in the exact time you made that post 24 hours later, then I may be able to do something.
Basically, a proper deadline would be nice.
Uh...tomorrow as in 00:00 Kuwait time (GMT +3). Its 01:17 now, that should give you an idea...possibly longer if nobody else enters except Kody.
That specific enough? :P
Basically that means by 10:00pm tomorrow for you guys, or 5:00pm for me. :P
When did ObT get a disc?
Give me a few minutes :proud:
Chaos has exploded in the pits as a plot hole the size of Canada has opened up sending everybody back to the Victorian era, as Queen Victoria is sitting in the audience waiting for the action, the steam powered sliding doors of the arena slide open with a lot of steam being given off, as a horse-drawn carriage pulls Victorian Woodpecker, with a steam powered axe on top, it has a new style chassis made out of metal, what would Mr Wood make of this new invention, and will it end his strong-hold on the materials market. The very high-tech remote drive system is provided by a strong wire on a spring.
The crowd are awaiting the entry of Opened by Transfer, as everybody in the pits is looking for David, who hasn€™t returned from Prysyr Fllllemllylllylyl yet, he phoned up 2 days ago saying he was leaving the lovely ladies of Maple Street, so he should have been back by now
Queen Victoria is not happy, some might say she isn€™t amused, as the head judge is trying to dial out to the mobile car phone, but keeps getting €œthis is not a valid number, please check and dial again€Â, before the phones rings. €œHello, this is the banker; I€™m offering you £24,000 for your box€Â. Everybody considers this offer for a moment, knowing that £24,000 in this era was worth an awful lot of money, before they say €œdeal€Â.
Meanwhile the phone rings again, as it€™s Team €œdoes anybody really know what the current name of david€™s team is called€Â, there is a barrier, a large dome circling the arena plus local village, there is traffic chaos outside as the train can€™t even get though the barrier.
Back to the battle, it appears that Victorian Woodpecker is though to the final as Opened by Transfer has been closed by barrier and is stuck in the real world when everybody else is stuck in the Victorian era, sent back in time by the gods. Outside the barrier the Banker hands David the £24,000 as they both go off to the pub, to have a Woodpecker Cider.
The end
(Message edited by DavidS on May 10, 2008)
SEMI FINAL ONE
Woodpecker vs. Opened By Transfer
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: Dave Sheppard
Booth 2: Dan Stickler
3
2
1
ACTIVATE
And off we go...Woodpecker advances towards Opened By Transfer...OH! AND OPENED BY TRANSFER HAS FALLEN OVER!!
OK, I gotta stop talking like JP. As it turns out, what everyone THOUGHT was OBT is, in fact, a cardboard cut-out. Yep, it turns out that OBT still hasnt been located after falling into that plothole. But, as it turns out, Woodpecker is getting really impatient, and decides to look for OBT itself. It storms out of the arena, much to the surprise of Dan who has gone from flicking the controls to smashing it with a sledgehammer in a desperate attempt to get some response. Because the arena is now vacant, the production crew bring in Razer and Iron Awe and make them perform pole-dancing.
Woodpecker, meanwhile, finally arrives in Brazil. After looking in Australia (where it found Nemo) and Tokyo (where it stayed to watch King Kong have an arm wrestling contest with Godzilla), it finally figured this would be the most random place possible...except Antarctica, but who searches there? Unfortunately, a flash flood shows up, with the water full of piranha. Even worse, they have nothing against eating robotics. Miraculously, it manages to survive, but not without losing half its shell.
Meanwhile, back in the arena, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario and Crash Bandicoot are advertising deoderants.
Elsewhere, after being hit by rain, falling branches and bird...stuff, Woodpecker finally decides that itll never be able to find OBT. He turns around to go back home when he trips over a random root and falls into a warpzone that just randomly appeared for no reason.
When he comes out of the other end, he finds himself on the planet of orange fuzzy things, where their great leader Spring-BOK! is about to sacrifice OBT to the gods. Woodpecker manages to defeat the orange furball with the help of a random flamethrower, then literally drags OBT back to the arena.
The two robots arrive back at the arena safe and sound, only to get hit by several custard pies on arrival, as some clowns had been performing for the time being. Luckily, a humanoid vaguely resembling Mega Masher 2 shows up and blasts at them with a machine gun. Now, finally in the arena, the two robots advance on each other.
CEASE!!
As it turns out, the judges had forgotten to stop the clock. Dan has a fit and self-destructs. The judges have to make a decision and, with no replays to look at, they go for the next most reliable method...
Eeny Miney Mony Mer,
O.B.T or Woodpecker,
One of them has to...
...but in the end, they just give up and pick Woodpecker. O.B.T heads off to kill Dave.
WOODPECKER GOES THROUGH.
Lets take an advert break...
SONIC: If your underarms smell of pancakes...
CRASH: Pancakes!
SONIC: ...then this new deoderant is doing its job.
MARIO: Maple Stick, its what all the great-a heros use!
The three of them are seen holding a rabbit and a razor each.
SONIC: So, buy it today, or well shave these bunny rabbits.
The three glare angrily.
SONIC: (whispering harshly) I swear well freakin do it!
THE END
For an underweight robot without motors, its done well to get this far :proud:
Technically it does have motors, unless the linear actuators and hydraulic pump run on pixiedust :P
Stop the entering, we have a winner!
All of you wrote some effing weird things, and all of you made me laugh in one way or another. Id like to be able to say it was difficult to choose, but throwing the Victorian era in made Mr Dave Sheppard the clear winner!
Not that it matters much, since everyone had Woodpecker to win :P Woodpecker goes through to the finals.
quote:
Technically it does have motors, unless the linear actuators and hydraulic pump run on pixiedust :P
True
But yay I win the writing contest :)
Heres the other semi final...absolute female dog to write, but it turned out...well, slightly weird :proud:
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: Martijn Benschop
Booth 2: Leo van Miert
3
2
1
ACTIVATE
Leo does the very sensible thing and slams Splinters controls straight into reverse, trying to get away from Brown Trousers Time, which advances forward slowly...a pursuit of sorts begins, as Splinter bolts into the corner by the flame pit, which flares up as Brown Trousers Time crosses it in an attempt to close down its prey. Splinter darts across the arena, over the closed pit, and then into the top right CPZ, but seems unable to get away from Brown Trousers Time, which comes in from the left and corners the helpless machine. Leo yells something across to Martijn, who shakes his head and then, laughing menacingly, presses the switch on his controller labelled DOOM.
Almost instantly, the blades on the disc become a blur, as the petrol engine spins the disc up to about a half of its maximum speed, and a screeching howl fills the arena as the air above the weapon begins to distort and flicker, the disc running faster and faster, and Martijn, remembering what happened to Splinter in series 4 against Hypno-Disc, moves in for the kill...
CRASH!
The audience gasps, and in a sudden display of completely out-of-character-could-only-happen-in-fanfic behavior, Leo decides enough is enough and rips the Lexan away from his driving booth with one arm, and supports himself with the other as he somersaults the barrier and lets his body fall through the sky, down towards the gap between Brown Trousers Time and Splinter, in a heroic attempt to protect his beloved robot from the monster threatening it. All he can see is inky blackness as, almost in slow motion, he is drawn towards the centre of the rotating weapon, sixty thousand million revolutions per second screaming in his mind as he is thrown to the rend in time created by the disc...
There is a flash of blinding, pure light, and a sound unlike any ever heard before fills the mind of everyone watching.
Then, the light begins to fade to silence.
...
As Leo comes around, he finds himself sprawled out on a strange surface, feeling oddly tired. Rubbing his eyes, he tries to remember what happened, but as he looks around him, and the darkness begins to leave his field of vision, all there is is a few bolts and...Splinter, right behind him. Somehow, Brown Trousers Time has gone. In the corner of the arena, Martijn stares incredulously, wondering what possibly could have happened. There is a pause, and then Leo reaches into his shirt pocket and unfolds a piece of paper within.
On it is simply written, The Laws Of Physics
Martijns confusion turns to anger as he realises that he has been defeated by the laws of physics. NO! he screams agitatedly. THIS CANNOT BE!
He claps his hands, and there is a gasp from the assembled crowd as slowly he begins to grow in size, his Official Roboteer shirt morphing itself into a flowing black cape, his forehead developing two elongated white horns and his eyes glowing a deep red. With a sweep of one powerful arm, he summons from the rift all that was swallowed by it; Verticality, Nitro-Gene 4.0, Frank Goacher, a kitchen from a country cottage, Christopher Mason, five jujumen, several pots of odd potions and scents, a DeWalt cordless angle grinder, Beta-Rex, Axes Of Evil, Boris Yeltsin, Harald Hardrada, William Pitt and a mosquito.
Leo takes a step backwards as the mob of man and twisted machine advances towards him. Suddenly, he finds himself gripped by a resolve to survive this war, and reaches for his transmitter. Switching it on, and standing beside Splinter, he shatters the silnce with two words.
LETS GO!
Something breaks the tension, and limbs and robots begin flying. Leo drives Splinter forward into William Pitts legs, knocking him head over heels and cracking his head on the plywood floor, killing him instantly. He then raises a fist and physically dispatches two of the jujumen, simultaneously headbutting the angle grinder as it flies towards him, flinching from the gash that is ripped in his head, but sending the remains of the power tool straight at Harald Hardrada, a splinter of plastic stabbing the Viking through the heart. Axes Of Evil moves in on Splinter, who grasps it and rams it into Verticality, KOing both robots handily, while Leo, distracted by controlling his robot, is picked up by the ankles and stares upside down at a mutant Chris Mason, who holds him high above his head before marching to the flame grid, which begins to flame up to claim Leo as its victim...
Leo, though, thinks quickly and extends the aerial on his transmitter to stab the Chris-morph between the legs, causing it to release him and double over in pain. He rolls over the floor twice, putting out any smouldering that may have been happening on his garments, before almost instinctively grabbing Boris Yeltsins incoming karate chop and throwing the former Russian president into the kitchen, destroying both instantly. Beta-Rex charges at the Dutch roboteer, who dodges the charge and controls Splinter neatly to scoop up the other three voodoo priests and ram them into the opposing robot, causing all four to fall into the pit. Frank Goacher, over in the corner, cackles as he rubs his hands together to open a plot hole, but Leo uses his initative to pick up Nitro-Gene and run blindly at the threat. Nitro-Genes flipper fires in anger, and the vented gas blows into Franks eyes and makes him fall into the plot hole of his own making, Leo throwing Nitro-Gene in as well before it closes.
Angry at this turn of events, Martijn summons up a firewall and orders the mosquito to come in on the attack, but Splinter drives over the flames, putting them out as the pneumatics tubing melts and expels the excess pressure, while Leo puts down his transmitter and looks up as he hears a faint buzzing, before clapping his hands high in the air. As he opens them, a dead mosquito falls from between his palms and down to the ground.
Leo, triumphant, turns towards Martijn, who roars in anger and throws himself at his adversary, ripping open the fabric of time itself and preparing to dispose of Leo the way he disposed of his creations. As he flies towards him, almost inhuman, he barely notices Leo ducking underneath his charge before grabbing hold of his ankle, and with a 180 degree swing flinging the beast into oblivion.
There is silence in the arena, Leo hanging his head in exhaustion. Then, Dan Stickler in the front row begins to applaud, joined by the people around him, and then the entire audience rewarding Leo with a standing ovation as he gets to his feet again and raises his hand in jubilation, looking around at the remains of the evil he vanquished, the monsters he faced and returned triumphant.
YES! YES, I DID IT!
The podium descends, as the spotlights illuminate the outlines of the Queen and Prince Philip, and the Dutch hero steps forward before bending on one knee, the monarch hanging a medal around his neck before tapping Leos left shoulder.
Arise, Sir Leo
The applause of the crowd goes wilder, and the Dutch roboteer can but grin widely as he reflects on the actions that led to this celebration.
He has defeated Brown Trousers Time.
CEASE
After that random and unnecessarily long and overblown fight, Splinter goes through to the finals!
----------------------------------------
The Final
The Tribute To The Tim Tribute Tournament
Woodpecker vs. Splinter
Tactics, comments, anyone?
Predictions: I WILL WIN THE TOURNAMENT
...one way or another. :proud:
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Look at Marks profile Kody!
Well its obvious since Im the one who speaks out against him the most brutally. But Im not going easy on him, not after this.
I salute you Kody, and I have banned Mark from my tourneys like you did
...right? Id prefer not to comment on how confusing that is...
Right. You go do that.
I was actually meaning Marks profile when I said that, should possibly have clarified that.
Anyway, here is a final of sorts:
WOODPECKER VS. SPLINTER
ROBOTEERS, STAND BY
Booth 1: Sir Leo van Miert
Booth 2: Dan Stickler
3
2
1
ACTIVATE
Woodpecker comes out of the start tentatively, steadily across towards Splinter, who is starting slowly...starting very slowly...isnt actually starting at all. It turns out Sir Leo ordered one of his servants to put Splinters link in, but said servant went off to the pub with Philippa instead of doing his work, and Daniel realises this as he maneuvers Woodpecker in, landing a series of axe blows on the top armour as Leo looks on in disgust.
Suddenly, there is an almighty roar, and Kody Kunz appears at the top of the arena, pointing towards the winners trophy and demanding it for himself.
DONT DO IT, KODY! Joey yells. IF YOU DO, YOU SHALL SUFFER A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH!
NEVER! Kody crows in reply, before spreading his wings and swooping down over the battle.
Where did he get those from? Sir Leo asked rhetorically. Kody paused to think about it, then answered Back of a lorry.
The prize was coming ever closer, and Kody could almost feel the gold in his hands, as the glory that was soon to be his approached, when the wall on which the trophy was displayed flipped around, causing Kody to fly into a hole and everybody who had been killed in the tournament to come out the other side. Kody lost his wings, and fell down into the back of a van, which promptly locked itself and set off for the Big Brother House.
CEASE
Woodpecker is the winner, now you can stop reading. :proud:
*gasp*
You disappoint me, Joey. :proud:
Had to be done. :lol: