Get him to try and pronounce nuclear correctly. Youll have all the time in the world to shoot him then.
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Get him to try and pronounce nuclear correctly. Youll have all the time in the world to shoot him then.
or we could get a sign pointign left and write go right and leave it outside his office, saying its the direction to donuts
Im with Alex, and if any guards come Ill go blackbelt-karate-jujitsu-aikido-kung fu on them :proud:
Team Gore
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Phew, didnt expect that to work.
Like Matty, I can do various impersonations if that helps at all.
Also, does the camo gun have an invisibility option?
And, if things get tricky. Just tell Bush someone is planning on blowing up Disneyland, thatll distract him.
Can you do any parts of any doble acts AJ. Just thinking, double the distraction.
Dave Sez: Looks like I got the job of posting once more :)
STEVE SEZ:
The gang stood in the darkened bedroom, contemplating their situation.
Nicole, Chris spoke up at last, can you tell us where the electroenergy is strongest?.
[Electronic pulses strongest from second floor storage room]
Listen, Chris explained to the others, you guys head downstairs and check out the basement. I can head upstairs with Nicole and check out the second floor.
[Negative], the computer continued, [storage room contains personal possessions of the First Lady. No males permitted within that specific room.]
Where the hell dya get that? Kody exclaimed.
[Meh - one of the brochures.]
Well, Aaron said, looks like well have to take it a room at a time.
[Not necessarily] Nicole added, [I may have a solution to this particular dilemna. Andrew, find a setting on the Camoflague Ray Gun for a female SWAT operative.] Grinning broadly, AJ found the nearest possible setting (Chick in Military Uniform) and with a quick zap, Chris found himself in an army cadets outfit, his hair in a ponytail and the suit curving outwards to create the impression of...well, yknow...ladies parts.
This is your big plan?! he spluttered as the rest of the troop struggled to hide their sniggering, but my face still looks the same! And my voice!
[Negative] Nicole went on, [Simply invent an excuse for you shielding your face whenever someone gets too close. I shall supply your vocals for you if you conceal me in your sleeve. I have collected many slang phrases from a friend of my previous owner]
Yeah, Christine, Kody chuckled, its foolproof. Whos gonna suspect youre a dude? No more smart comments were made after Chris winded the Canadian with a boot to the chest.
Well... he groaned reluctantly and gave a great gulp, ...for the good of the mission and with a flick of his ponytail, he paraded into the hallway and the heroes split up once more.
**********
Feeling more confident as he discovered how well smoothly this plan was going, Chris marched smartly through the White House corridors on his way to the second floor. His worries of the costume being too inaccurate to fit in was ill-founded, since he passed several other military persons on his journey. Finally, with help from the large signposts plastered across the walls, he made his way to the First Ladys Storage Room. He had just made it up to the door, when:
Hey! You! A fellow private was making his way over to them. Immediately, Chris bent down and pretended to be retying his bootlace when he jogged right up to her. I dont remember seeing you on the coach here, he commented suspiciously, who the Sam Hill are you?
[...um...] Nicole paused, hurridly trying to think of an excuse [...uh...ah-ahm a n00b.] she said at last with (but Chris hadnt a clue why) a Southern accent [Just got transferred from the...uh...the Knothole battalion]
...never heard of it, the private said, furrowing his brow as he tried to recall that name.
[Small-town troop], she added quickly, [Were one of the lilest squads in America, see?] The private crouched down for a closer examination, Chris face still bent down at his shoes. The uniform did seem authentic...
Guess Id better take your word for it, he sighed, but Im gonna have to ask the sarge why theyre putting a klutzy little grunt in such a high security place (I could say the same for you, Chris thought to himself). Say, he added, running a few fingers up past his ponytail, youve got real purdy hair, yknow. The Englishman was just about to commence recreating his incident with Kody when...
[...why, aint you sweet?] Nicole giggled. Chris winced under his cap - this had to be some sort of payback on the team. The private smiled broadly from the soldiers response. [Yall ever done it on a factory floor?] the computer added seductively. The private was now positively beaming from ear to ear as he wrapped his arms around his new companion, but with a very British cry of Bloody hell, thats enough!, Chris thrust his knee up into his most private of parts and left him wincing on the White House floor.
As soon as we get out of this, Im turning you into a Game Gear, understand?! he whispered furiously as he stormed into the large store room and whipped the computer out of his sleeve.
[Admit it] Nicole said [that was an impressive improvisation]. Chris could swear that she was smirking triumphantly at him behind that screen of hers, but thered be time for removing her personality chip later. Right now, he needed to find where the electricity was coming from - but there was nothing electric in the room. Just a few wardrobes, the odd chest-of-drawers, several piles of clothes - and a hatstand with only one peg empty. Almost instinctively, Chris reached out and pulled on the peg. There was a sudden whirring and a few seconds later, one of the wardrobes open up to reveal a most extraordinary sight.
Clambering inside, Chris found himself in one of the largest rooms he had ever seen. As far as the eye could see, there were innumerable mock sets for TV news programmes. Fox, the BBC, CNN - a copy of virtually every set littered the warehouse.
What the... but before any further investigation took place, he heard a click from behind him.
You dropped this, the private growled and whipping round, Chris saw that he had the Camoflague Ray Gun clasped in his hands. It must have shaken loose when his knee got to work on him.
No! he exclaimed, dont!, but too late. The trigger was pulled and in a flash of green light, Chris found himself in his original black shirt and blue jeans. He then noticed with a look of horror that the Gun had been reset to Undo All. Desperately, he tried to escape, but the private immediately grabbed hold of him, a look of shock still partially set on his face and hauled him back out of the secret room...
**********
...and then, Colin realised that the portable chemical labs were really just Iraqi ice-cream vans! Matty gave a polite chuckle as Bush let off his trademark snigger. Little developments had been made in the short time hed been talking with the President, rather he was getting him relaxed before springing the key question.
So then, George, he said, taking another sip from his rather shoddy tea, hows the robot doing?
Shhh! Bush hissed urgently, Not so loud, Ton. Even most of the agents dont know about it! What ya tryina do, get me put away?
Oh, of course, Matty whispered back, simply playing along, so hows it doing right now?
Just beautiful, Bush grinned, looking unusually wicked, were just finishin up the last tests on it now. Before long, that lil babys gonna make me the most powerful leader-type guy in the whole goddang world! Matty tried to hide a painful wince. The thought of this guy the world leader? Urgh.
So then, Matty whispered, what are the latest mods youve made to Mr Devolution?
...Mr Devawhosits? Bush asked, the more familar look of confusion on his face.
You know, Matty sighed, your little project. The one concerning Wedge Devolution and he added a suggestive wink. Bush gave his ally a concerned look.
You aughta lay off the tea, Tony he advised him, I think its startina affect your line a thought. I dont know what robot youre talking about, but my robots almost ready. Whaddaya you mean?
Oh, nothing, Matty told him innocently, just - just getting my wires crossed a little here. Damn. A dead end already.
TONY?! Bush exclaimed suddenly. Matty looked down at himself. With a look of dread, he noticed that he was back in his Hawaiian shirt and tight jeans, the rainbow hat looking as silly as ever.
You aint Tony! the President yelped, GUYS! GUYS! and he mashed his hand down on a large blue button on his intercom. Matty tried to make a break for it, but already, agents were sweeping into the room, pinning him to the ground.
Shall I take him downstairs to join the others down in the basement, sir? one of them asked.
Theres more of em?! Bush spluttered, but a grin came onto his chimpish face as he considered the situation. Sure. Looks like the robots gonna get an additional test.
Part 2
Like Chris beforehand, the rest of the group had little difficulty in navigating the hallways. The agent outfits made them completely unextraordinary to any passers-by and the signposts made finding the basement easier than taking candy from a sleeping Easter Bunny. Finally, the troop reached a rickety old staircase just off one of the corridors in the west side of the building. The door at the bottom looked mettalic, rounded off with the tiniest of locks.
Allow me, AJ grinned broadly and with a few adjustments to the Swiss Army Spoon, the all-purpose key was in the hole and three smooth turns allowed the thick steel panel to swing aside easily. Slowly, the group entered the cold stony room and each gasped in turn. Stretching off into the horizon were hundreds and hundreds of pods, closer examination of which revealed them to each contain a frozen human.
What in the name of Steve Irwin is this?! Aaron blurted when a fellow agent wandered into the opened room.
Its OK, guys, he told them, I already checked up on these guys. You can all just head ba- but he never finished his sentence. In a flash of green lights, the five agents before him vanished and in their place stood five very bewildered teenagers. WHAT THE HEY?! GET EVERYBODY DOWN HERE ON THE DOUBLE! he yelled into his walkie-talkie, IVE GOT US FIVE INFILTRATORS! The group barely had time to move when more government officials flooded inside and grabbed hold of each of them. A few seconds later, several guards holding Matty and Chris showed up too, with a smug Bush bringing up the rear.
OK, Bush Alex snarled, whats the big idea?! Whats with all the pods and the bodies?
And all those TV studios?! Chris added.
And all that other robot talk?! Matty inquired.
Bush just smirked. Easy, kiddies. Getting to be able to run Uncle Sams business aint easy. After Jebs recount fiasco in Florida, my popularity was lower Condie Rice in a limbo contest. So, I got my agents and dudes to carry out a little plan o mine. Yall know damn well the best way to succeed in politics is to start a war.
Chris quickly put two and two together. It was all fake he breathed, the War on Terror. It never happened! You staged the whole thing to boost your popularity and get yourself a second term!
Bushs smirk grew righter. Right on, brainiac. The news broadcasts are just my aids doing some neato impressions, the battle footage is all CGI n models and anyone who recruited for the war effort or who got to close to the truth is in suspen - suspendener - suspensionate - ah, hell, we just froze em.
But that cant be possible!, Alex spluttered, what about Fahrrenheit 9/11 and all the anti-war propaganda?
Practical jokes by the agents during pay strikes, Bush grumbled.
...so how does the big robot come into all this? AJ asked, his eyebrow raised quizzically.
Easy, Bush went on, with everyone so distracted by all the news about the War on Terror, I can use my new giant robot dude to take over every country on the dang planet while everyones still glued to the TV n the papers! No-onell ever notice whats going on! and there went the trademark snigger again. And speaking of the giant robot, he grinned, I think its time yall got to meet it.
**********
Finally, the teams blindfolds had been removed, the agents fleeing from the room as they came to their senses. The six were standing not in a room, though - they were in the middle of the Battlebots arena, except now, it was much bigger than before. The hammers were now nearly the size of trees, the screws were almost like turbines and the HellRaisers were nothing short of launch pads. But it was what stood before them that really got them worried. Standing on two thick titanium legs, with a body like a huge metal boulder, was Bushs enormous android, his own silly visage plastered onto its face. Presently, it was standing still, its broad arms with their hammerhead-like fists dangling lazily.
Cool, huh? Bush called from outside the ring, a Fisher Price remote control hanging around his neck. Just gotta check one last thing before I let it out into the world - I gotta see how well it can smash up guys like you! And with that infamous snigger once more, he slammed his finger on the GO! button and the robot slowly creaked into life.
...well Chris whispered, passing Kody the Camoflague Ray Gun hed managed to swipe back off the private in all the earlier confusion, any bright ideas, lads?
Immediately, Aaron swiped Nicole out of his other hand. Nicole!, he barked, give me the stats of this behemoth and do get a move on, will you?!
[...downloading...]
What are you doing, AK? Andy asked nervously as the troop found themselves backing towards the nearest SpikeStrip.
Were going to war, the Australian grinned.
DECISION TIME!
Well, itd seem youre in quite a tight spot right now. Your key priority here is to spot that fuggin big robot and get the hell out of the White House! You dont need to worry about collecting any evidence, just getting out alive is good enough. :proud: You still have all your weapons and heres the stats of the robot Nicole downloaded for you:
NAME: The Georginator
BODY SHAPE: big, bad and humanoid
MOVEMENT: two legs
ARMOURING: titanium all over, uses mainly welding over bolts
WEAPONRY: hammerhead fists, kicking legs, a few dozen or so rockets and probably a few more
SRIMECH: arms
STATISTICS:
- Weapon Power = 20
- Speed = 3
- Manoueverability = 5
- Defense = 15
- Traction = 7
- Driving Skill = 5
Good luck getting out of this one. :wink:
Alek, think you can play chop suey with that lightsaber if i keep it busy? Ill do most of the distracting, being the fastest, i will still need help from the others though, Alex just be ready to play slice and dice when we have it not looking.
Easy! Im gonna do absolutely sod all. Stand in an arear where theres nothing and wiat for the 3 minutes to be up, then he can only beat me on a Judges Decision XD
we get Aaron to point out technical flaws in its design so it collapses due to improbability
or...
Ill add my lgihtsabre instead of my blades and slams into its rear legs while someone else keeps its attention
we get Aaron to point out technical flaws in its design so it collapses due to improbability
It has two legs and its slow! Go for the FARKIN LEGS! Im not going to transform for this battle, Im going to jump up onto of the fugger, dodging its attacks, grab a hold of one of those rockets it has for attacking and use Nicole to hack the control unit. Once the control unit is re-coded, Ill set it for a no launch 2 second detonate, which should give me just enough time to bail out of the big bang....
Anybody want to keep him distracted? Remember, its going to be like swatting flys with a sledge hammer for this fellow :proud:
As I said Ill get the legs from behind while no ones looking, but someone will have to distract him cos Im slow, , but once Ive hit hell be the slow one
Ive already said that ill distract him, just get the job done :p
oh and additionally well get andy to tip some coffee on it to short circuit its rocket firign mechanism so it blwos itself up
Additionally drive between its legs so it hits itslef in the crotch and explodes
or stay direclty beneath it so it cant see where we are and i use my lightsabre on its legs, which doesnt have pain sensors incidentally
or shout Look! a foreigner! and then while he wastes all his missiles on an imaginary foreigner we attack
or just sabre bush himself so the bot has no controller
Im with Aaron on this one. I think its a job for Team Hax0r. Just pull its removable link out and hey presto! One big, dead robot.
If things get tricky Ill morph into GeForce and we can catapult some coffee at it, and as Alex says, short circuit.
Dont forget we can use the hazards to our advantage too. Any chance Nicole could tell us a way out of the arena or a way to control the pullzerizers etc?
Dave Sez: Hehehe I found out that you can open word documents in open office, anyway, here be message from steveo
STEVE SEZ:
Do tell me youre going to do, Chris groaned weakly.
Time for talkie later, Aaron told him, just keep him stalled. I think its time to put all those years of engineering to good use. Keeping a hold of Nicole, he stepped aside and allowed Chris to transform into mechanical form. The fastest of the group, the newly-formed Love Bite shot towards the hefty Georginator and began encircling the beasts legs.
What the hoo-hah?! Bush exclaimed and started trying to swat at the comparatively little double-wedge. But every cumbersome swing of those mighty arms kept missing their target, the fists smashing into the thick Hardox floor as Love Bite darted around the weapon of mass destruction.
So whatll we do? Matty inquired, plugging the mini speakers in the InfiniTune, give Chris a helping hand?
Just that, Aaron said, you all just keep that bot busy. Ill be back in two throws of a boomerang and he began running around the back end of the mighty machine. Slowly, the small head began following the Australians route, but as Alex gave one of its knees a smart bash with his blue lightsabre, its attention was brought back to the others.
Yall think yer real hard, huh? Bush jeered angrily, as yet another attempt to flatten Love Bite fell short. Alex, meanwhile, was in his element, dancing around the enormous annihilator and smashing its hulking legs wherever possible. Even AJ and Matt were getting stuck in, the laser on the Swiss Army Spoon boring through one of the main leg welds, while a full-volume rendition of Seven Nation Army shook the arena floor and challanged the behemoths balance. Kody was faring very well, too. Just as one of the rockets started locking in on him, could be launched in his direction, he turned the Camoflague Ray Gun on himself and transformed himself into a familar-looking chimpish individual.
SHOOT! THATS ME! Bush exclaimed and violently turned the robot away from his doppleganger, the missile intended for Kody instead blasting a large hole straight through the Battlebox wall.
Well, that sorts out our exit, Kody said brightly as the real President realised his mistake and set a rocket or two down his way. Thankfully, a spectacular dive from the Canadian resulted only in two small explosions and the floor being slightly charred. Bush was getting frustrated. The little rammer, the lightsabre, the laser and all those misfires were starting to annoy him. So much so, that he hadnt noticed Aaron scramble up the back of the Georginators left leg and right up onto its head.
Now then, Aaron grinned evily as he wrenched open a back panel on the behemoths thinkbox, time for a little n00b-flaming. OK, Nicole, scramble to your processors content!
[With pleasure], she replied as Aaron wrenched one of the jacks out of a nearby memory bank and plugged it into the palmtop. The messing of the brains took its time and not only were the others finding it hard to keep up their distraction, but a few more misaimed smashes of the robots giant fists were making it increasingly hard for the Australian to hang on to the head. But at last...
[Program scrambling 100% complete. Do I rule or what?]
Indeed you do, Sheila, Aaron grinned as he unplugged her and slid back down the enormous machine back to the ground.
HEY! What gives?! Bush exclaimed, mah dang robot aint workin! The others noticed this too. The back of the behemoths head was producing a furious shower of sparks and just as one of the mighty fists was about to take another swing at Alex, the whole machine ground to a halt and slumped down onto its knees.
And now! AJ cried triumphantly, the piece de resistance! and in a whirl, he was in GeForce form, one of his spare coffee flasks balanced on his front wedge. With an internal smirk, the rear-hinged flipper activated and threw the flask over onto the Georginator, exploding on impact and drenching the robot in Nescaf¨ as the team lept out the hole one of the stray missiles created.
Crumbs, that reactions starting to get violent, a freshly-remorphed Chris commented nervously, the coffees meeting with the electronics quickly setting the bot ablaze. Nicole, how long til that thing goes all Dr Strangelove on us?
[Approximate detonation time - one minute]
SHOOT, DANG N CONSARN IT! Bush snarled, the chimpish face now bearing a closer resemblance to a howler monkey, ymightve screwed up mah popularity stunt, but at least Ill be takin yall with me, Bush snarled, the chimpish face now bearing a closer resemblance to a howler monkey. There followed an almighty crash as a long red bus crashed through one of the rooms walls.
Not exactly, President Mush! it cried with a roar of its engine.
Bertie! the group cheered and as Bush simply stood there open-mouthed, the six shot into the bus and shot back out into Pennsylvania Avenue, the President quickly choosing to dash after them.
That was close, Alex sighed, but how did you manage to find us?
It wasnt easy, Bertie replied as they left the street, you see, I started getting concerned about how long you guys were taking, so I tried looking for you. I smashed into a couple of rooms before you were found - one of them was filled with all these weird pod thingies. Rather strange, it was. I hit some sort of generator on making my entrance and then they all woke up and just ran out the hole I made, back into the street.
Well, at least thats one name off the list, Kody said contently, readjusting his shades, now lets kick back and watch some fireworks. 3...2...1...
And as Bertie spread his wings and rocketed up into the clear American sky, the group huddled down at the rear window as the White House was blown to smithereens, the soon-to-be former President of the United States pouting furiously on the sidewalk.
DECISION TIME!
Congratulations! Youve exposed Bushs propaganda scam and saved the Earth from the Georginator. :proud: But youre nowhere closer to finding Wedge Devo. One suspects off the list, so who will you go after next?
- Mentorn Inc.
- Ellis, the Legendary King of Thieves
- Dr Ivo Robotnik
- The Spanish Inquisition
- George W Bush
Hope youre all enjoying this so far :) - especially since quite a lot of it is being extracted from my rear end :proud:
Im going after Ellis. This time, Im not following if you decide otherwise, because i have a plan,a nd I only need me to do it. Anyone following or am I off on my own?
I say between the Spanish Inquisition (thats gonna be a laugh :p) or Ellis
the inquisistion!
I still want Robuttnik
Team Gore
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MENTORN INC!!!!
They didnt call this the Robot Wars RPG - The Mentorn Conspiracy 2005 for nothing you know!
You dont get the point, it spoils our ludicrous adventures if we know who dunnit, besides, one of these groups may be the power behind Mentorn, or possibly provide us with somethign to use against mentorn
Its always going to be some other suspect youll find out about on asking the last suspect :P
(it was MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) :rofl:
If Matty wants to go off on his own, he can, my vote falls on the SI...just be aware that we got tabs on Bertie, we could always just drop you off :p
I may not be part of this, Steven, but Im really enjoying reading it - if you ever do another one, I want a spot!
Sure thing Chris.
Myplans are excellent
I want to see what this giant plan is... Im going for Ellis. :)
The votes are in, two for Ellis and two for the SI.
We have two options depending on what Stevo says, the other two can change their votes to one of our two or we can split up...unless Alex changes his mind that is, doubt any of us other three will :p
AJ has told me online that he wishes to take on the Inquisition instead. No more votes at this point, please.
Its just easier if I have you all (or most of you, anyway) in the one place at the one time. Makes writing less complicated, see? :) The first part of Chapter 3 up, ASAP
STEVE SEZ:
Glad you think this tale is eye-worthy, guys :proud:. Now whod care for the start of our next series of unfortunate events? :)
CHAPTER 3: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...
DATELINE: Castle Aaaargh, Argyll, Scotland, 6:08pm
The thick mist continued swirling around the tiny island resting alone in the middle of Loch Enloaed. The owners of the ancient castle that stood on it wandered across the foggy grounds, completely unaware that a bus with a boats bottom was quietly sneaking up on the other side of the fortress.
OK, guys, Kody grinned, whos up for a little sightseeing?
Not me, Matty grumbled. His face was the true definition of moody.
Oh, come on, Matty, Aaron groaned, you cant keep sulking about not being able to take on Ellis yet. It was a damn close vote.
Traitor, the Essex boy hissed at AJ, who simply gave him a very nervous smile.
Oh, quit your complaining, Alex sighed, well probably be out of here in 10 minutes with no lead and then we can head for that dumb pickpockets home.
Well, not myself, Matty announced proudly, this plan of mine is too good to fail. It could easy stop this stupid search of ours and if you guys arent going to go along with it, maybe I should just administer it myself! He couldnt help but feel disappointed when nobody seemed to be paying attention. Fine! he snapped and marched angrily out of the bus and onto the misty island.
...um...guys... AJ asked uncertainly, ...am I the only one whos a tad concerned about Matty walking out on us?
Hell be back, Aaron told him as he tried to use the Seance Cellphone to text Tom, he wont be able to make it as far as the beach again on his own, especially in this weather. There followed a loud splash from near the far side of the castle. See? Feeling more relaxed about this, AJ kicked back in his seat and began fiddling with the Swiss Army Spoon. Until a cry of anger nearly made him throw the instrument into the air (currently set on Corkscrew).
What the Tengu?! Alex exclaimed and the group rushed over to Berties door, their straining ears picking up faint crys of Let go of me, you ballgown-wearin freaks! followed by the loud slam of a thick wooden door.
Matty the team groaned in unison and slowly stepped off the bus onto the misty island. They were surprised their kidnapped companion had gotten as far as he had. The thick fog was making it hard to even make out their own hands, but by making use of the Spoons torch function and using the lightsabre to cut through the mist, AJ and Alex paved a way for the others to the castle walls, up the long stone steps and right up to the large wooden entrance.
Well, Alex said as he switched off his weapon of choice, unless we feel like giving ourselves away today, how do we get in?
Working on it as we speak, Chris grinned, Nicole, scan the place for any sign of Matty and see if theres any methods of entry to this place bar ringing the doorbell. A few clicks and whirls followed as the palmtop loaded up the schematics of the citadel.
[Matthew Fowler is currently located on the first floor. Blueprints indicate three other possible means of entry. A window on the fourth floor, the doorways on the upmost battlements and a hidden cave built into the underside of the island are all viable options. However, pre-set traps almost certain once inside the main building]
Now, which should we choose? Aaron contemplated.
...eeny meeny miny -
Do shut up, Andy.
**********
Meanwhile, Matty was having little luck dealing with his captors. Although his temper was short, his range fighting skills was even shorter and despite his thrashing around, his kidnappers simply yanked his rainbow hat over his eyes and took him into a large side-room. By the time his headgear had been lifted back out of his field of vision, he could make out the men in red on the other side of the room, muttering to each other. Quickly regaining his senses, Matty found himself strapped down to a table, his hands stretched above his head and surrounded by all manner of bizzare and unwelcoming instruments. A slightly embarrassed wince on his face, his head lolled to his right and his eyes clapped upon a beautiful woman in exactly the same awkward situation he was. She wore a Union Jack jumpsuit and her curly blonde hair flowed down to her shoulders.
Great, he grumbled, I dont even get a male cellmate!
Beg pardon? the other prisoner asked with distinctly offended, toffee-nosed English tones.
Never mind, he sighed, Matty. Who be you?
Agent Elle Mann, MI5, she whispered, I was sent here to help look for some top secret robot thatd been stolen or something. My superiors were scarce on details. Anyway, Id just finished scouring the castle for it a few minutes ago when these idiots find me and take me in here! How about you?
Same, Matty sighed, Im in the unofficial search.
When youve quite finished, one of the kidnappers groaned as he made his way over, wed like to get a little questioning done, you know. Matty and Agent Mann brought their conversation to an abrupt halt and stared up into the trim goatee and very large-brimmed hat of the infamous Cardinal Ximiniez of the Spanish Inquisition.
Good!, he barked with a swift clap of his hands, NOW then, athiest vermin! You are accused of heresy on three counts - heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed and heresy by actionFOUR counts! He gave himself a sharp smack on the head. Not only that, but you, woman, are also accused of spying on us for some unbelieving enemy agent and YOU, dear boy, managed to chip one of Cardinal Fangs incisors! He pointed over at the hooded cardinal, who gave Matty a poisonous look as he flossed between his strangely-sharp teeth. So... he smirked wickedly, ...do you confess?
...does anyone ever do that the first time you ask them? Matty asked with a roll of his eyes, youre just wasting your time here, beardy.
RIGHT! Ximinez snapped, if thats the way you want it, well move straight to the hard stuff! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS! The third cardinal with the pilot headgear made his way over to the table, a creamy-coloured cushion in each hand.
Here they are, lord! he grinned, his moustashe twitching happily as he turned to face their captors.
Now then, heretics, he chuckled, do you confess? Agent Mann and Matty exchanged looks of utter bewilderment.
...youre joking, right? Matty asked.
Im with him, Elle agreed, you call yourself respectable foes to British security?
SHUT UP! came another infuriated bark from Ximinez. Now then...Cardinal! Poke them...WITH THE SOFT...CUSHIONS! With a wicked laugh, Biggles began jabbing the little pillows into his victims torsos, one for each. Agent Mann and Matty simply stared boggle-eyed at the Cardinals, unable to believe just how stupid their situation was. After a few particularly aggressive pokes, Biggles relented, both disappointed and worried.
They dont seem to be hurting, my lord, he said nervously.
Have you got all the stuffing up one end? his superior demanded, snatching the cushions out of his hands and checking for himself. His face now matching his unform, he cast the pillows aside. Hmph! Theyre made of harder stuff! and he glared down at the bound duo. You should just consider your souls lucky that the Comfy Chair was repossessed by DFS, or Id have you begging me for mercy in mere milliseconds! He stormed back over to join Cardinal Fang, Biggles at his heels.
Perhaps we could try the Dampened Doilies, my lord, his tashe-weilding cohort suggested hopefully.
Or the Cup of Typhoo with PyramidTeabags, Fang grinned maliciously.
The Slightly-Overbright Reading Lamp makes nearly everyones eyes water a little bit, Biggles added, brightly.
Or maybe, Matty complained loudly, you could sell your torture equipment back to the Retirement Home and get yourself some respectable jobs.
Some decent decor wouldnt go amiss, either, Elle grumbled, who uses castles for their bases anymore. Cardinal Ximinez stomped back over to the tables, his red robes swinging viciously with each step.
Oh, arent we the moody little captive?! he exclaimed, Matty secretly delighting in his utter frustration, well, Im SOOO sorry that youre too hardy for our top-of-the-range interrogation devices or if were just the slightest bit out of touch, but thats no reason to be whiners about it! And slowly, a grin formed on his face as an idea began blossoming in his head. Maybe we should rectify that. Quickly searching deep into his robe pockets, a few moments of searching produced an old bus ticket, a pack of playing cards, a rubber chicken, a first edition copy of How Not To Be Seen and finally, two slender white objects that finally stopped his victims moans. At last, the Spanish Inquisition had actually made some people afraid.
Oh no! Agent Mann squealed, Not that! You wouldnt dare!
Why do I get the feeling staying in the bus was a rather good idea? Matty groaned as the Cardinal began untying his laces.
DECISION TIME!
Mattys gotten himself in trouble, a potential ally is imprisoned in the castle with him and the rest of the crews stuck outside. Youve got to save your companions, but how will you do it? Via:
- the window on the fourth floor?
- the doorways on the upmost battlements (aka via the roof :lame:)?
- the underwater tunnel?
Will the troop find their way into Castle Aaaargh safely? What strange happenings will befall them if they do? Will Matty and Agent Mann crack? Why cant I stop these infuriating rhetorical questions? Help? Somebody? Anybody? :proud:
The tunnel is the closest way, therefore, we can count that one out by laws of probability saying that it wont be that easy, besides, i dont feel like running into a trap underwater.
So, between the fourth floor and the roof i think. Guys? Stevo, info on how to get to one of those locations would be dandy, also, can Nichole do anything towards sensing traps?
We turn someone into a witch and get them to cackle really loudly, this will draw the inquisition out as they hate witchcraft and we sneak in while their chasing after the witch, or alternativly cut through the walls with my trusty sabre
I going under water!
*grabs scooba gear*
Not me Alex, ive already done the female role so it aint gonna be me becoming a witch :p Nicole can probably cackle though.
*grumble* Still trying to prank call me while sleeping, even when trying to find Wedge Devo...*grumble, fetches coffee*
fine ill do it then, except it means you guys will have to go without the sabre, lazy sods
Actually, i nominate AJ or Kody for it, we need the sabre :p