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ok, sorry for the bump issues lol.
Heh, im thinking that Mara better hope she doesnt get drawn with Scaramonger as a house fighter again, smashed his perfect record :p Id be a tad tetchy. Though one could argue that she helped him destroy a thunderstorm with one shot :p
Well what do you know? its not done
blast your hide to hades bt!
all they did ws mark where the hole they need to dig will go
Predictions... and tactics
23) Firestorm vs. (Insert extra entry from Ceri here)
Dunno
24) A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot
Hey! Duck! wha? *sighs* i told you to duck :p
25) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Electric Guitar
Dunno
26) Darth Vadar vs. A white swan
The force is strong, but the swan does not know the power of the darkside
27) T-800 vs. Hexadecimal
erm...pass
28) Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto
hmm, force pluto to watch the outtakes from Toy Story 2 and Mrs. Potato head will win.
29) Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
Goodbye Mr Junkie
30) A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
Dunno
31) Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
The purple dragon to show that not only super fast blue hedgehogs can give him a headache.
32) Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
Why do i think that the mars bar will win this one?
33) The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
Red never did meet the anti Christ :p
34) Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
DD and Muttley will try and cheat, unfortunately, it never works. Anyone notice how they coulda won a few times if not for cheating?
35) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Bouncy Castle
Dunno
36) Starfire vs. T-X
Woot! Starfire to win
37) Apocalypse vs. (Insert Entry from Ceri here)
APOCALYPSE IS INVINSIBLE!!! But not all that sane.
38) Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
Pass
39) Mars vs. Ringwraith
erm...nah
40) Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
Fire off elemental attacks, get nowhere near it. Call on Animis if it gets desperate.
41) Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
Bouncey bouncey bouncey SPLAT
42) Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
erm, yeah, i give it to the guarantee.
43) Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
hmm, not gonna go there.
44) Gravity vs. teapot
hmm, Gravity to win
45) Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
Tails will eat the chocolate but feel ill and puke it up, chocolate to win
46) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Homer Simpson
Dunno
47) A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
The storm.
48) Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Freeze the sucker
49) Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
Hmm, no mind but Jaina could throw force lightening at it, if that doesnt work, use a beckon call to call in The Trickster, a Yuuzhan Vong ship, if that doesnt work, she can pilot anything, get in the bus and crash it while jumping out
50) Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
The floor gets a bye
51) Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
That monkey reminds me of an Ewok...*shudder* Kyp is more talented than most at mind control, get it to gouge its own eyes out.
52) Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
The Humming to win
Aditional tactic for Seymour if Animis falls, use Ultima, you have any reason why they call it Ultima? Guess :p
One other thing, he is an unsent, so he is dead already.
OK now theyve dug the hole but doen nothing so in theory next they will do a day to do what they need in the hoel and another to fill it in again and it should in theory be working.
Chris, I think now would be a good time to tell you Alex hasnt played FFX. Or at least he hadnt the last time we spoke about it :P
lol, Ultima is...erm...a very, VERY powerful spell.
Shiva (my other battle with an Aeon) is an ice lady and not all that very nice.
Anima, the dude Seymour can call on is a biiig Hell creature that likes to take victims home with him :p
NOTE: If you dont know who Hexadecimal is, watch ReBoot. Or just simply type it into the Google Search engine under Images.
Btw, new tactics for Hexadecimal.
If the plot hole thing doesnt work, use the evil smiley face, cause that is FREAKING SCARY!!! Add the mad laugh to top that, and youve got it. And if that doesnt work, then blast it with everything shes got.
Team Gore
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But Kody, the T-800 doesnt feel that little thing called fear.
Ill make it learn to, then :proud:
Team Gore
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Buuuuuuump
Pussycat vs. Dog COMPLETED Winner: Pussycat
Mr Potato Head vs. Gothmog, Lord of the Balrogs COMPLETED Winner: Gothmog
Clover vs. Jack the Ripper COMPLETED Winner: Clover
Dr Octopus vs. The Rock COMPLETED Winner: The Rock
The Sun vs. Coffee Cup COMPLETED Winner: coffee cup
Spongebob Squarepants vs. Alphonse €˜Al€™ Capone COMPLETED Winner: al capone
Morgoth vs. Ruf Ruf Dougle COMPLETED Winner: r. r. dougal
Mr. Edward Hyde vs.Green Power Ranger COMPLETED Winner: e.g.m.m.p.r
An Old radio vs. Macbeth COMPLETED Winner: radio
Tyrannosaurus Rex vs. Banana Hammock COMPLETED Winner: banana hammock
Mara Jade Skywalker vs. A thunderstorm COMPLETED Winner: m.j. skywalker
Sarcasm vs. Anthrax COMPLETED Winner: sarcasm
A pint of milk vs. The T-1000 COMPLETED Winner: milk
Pikachu vs. The Number 8 COMPLETED Winner: pikachu
Count Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned COMPLETED Winner: dracula
Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth COMPLETED Winner: 5th moon of earth
Gollum vs. The Wootinator COMPLETED Winner:
Bowser vs. Godzilla COMPLETED Winner: godzilla
A triceratops vs. Triple H COMPLETED Winner: triceratops
Bigfoot v. A random Dalek COMPLETED Winner: dalek
Samus Aaran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat COMPLETED Winner: samus aaran
Malomyotismon vs. brick wall COMPLETED Winner: brick wall
Firestorm vs. a white mazda
A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot
Mega morgue vs. Electric Guitar
Darth Vadar vs. A white swan
T-800 vs. Hexadecimal
Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto
Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
Mr Game and Watch vs. Bouncy Castle
Starfire vs. T-X
Apocalypse vs. Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
Mars vs. Ringwraith
Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
Gravity vs. teapot
Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
Monty Pythons My brain hurts Gumby vs. Homer Simpson
A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
Firestorm vs. a white mazda
House fighters for today: salamander and allanon
The fire storm storms down with fire, blazing away with the fury of a thousand suns upon the white mazda, engulfing it in living flame as if nothing upon this earth could stand in its wake. However as the fire clears for some unknown reason the mazda is entirely unharmed, no one, least of all the mazda can work out why, he checks against the improbably plotline list, its not the antichrist, nor is it equipped with hundreds of gadgets, is not particularly comical, nor is it super powered in any way. After skimming down a long long way it finally works out what it is, it has gone along believing it€™s a rwl car the whole time when actually it€™s the ghost of a car. Kid of like the 6th sense. But with cars. It woders at this for a second but then decides to just accept the fact, especially seeing as everyone can see and touch it anyway so just goes and runs over the vulnerability orb of the firestorm.
White Mazda advances to Round 2!
A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot
House fighters for today are tengu and hector.
The duck walks in against the playstation character who begins a spin attack, but somehow the duck manages to give the impression that it smirking as suddenly crash spins into a lamppost for no reason. He gets up but hes compelled to spin into a iron bar, then under a falling piona, he can€™t work out what€™s happening. Suddenly an anvil drops on his head in an incredibly clichs manner, crushing crashes skull. The duck just smirks and holds up a wireless playstation controller.
A duck advances to round 2!
Mega morgue vs. Electric Guitar
Seeing as neither is capable of movement on its own they will be used by todays house fighters; Achilles and kali. Achilles strums a chord, testing the guitar for tuning, and considers this, despite dieing a over 2000 years before the electric guitar was invented this for some reason hasn€™t effected his music collection. He begins to perform bohemian rhapsody. It€™s not quite certain why at this point but it seems to work€¦
€˜€¦Is this the real life?€¦.€™
Mega morg charges towards him.
€˜or is it just fantasy€¦.;
The weapon is tested a few times before it reaches Achilles.
€˜€¦.trapped in a landslide€¦€™
Suddenly a massive pile of rocks hits mega morg from the left hand side swiping it across the stadium. It escapes from the debris and contacts Achilles in the leg just as it goes
€˜€¦cut off from reality€¦€™
It turns and charges again€¦
€˜€¦cos I€™m easy come, easy go€¦.€™
Achilles vanishes as mega morg contacts it and reappears at the opposite end of the stadium.
€˜€¦.little high€¦€™
Megamorg is picked up high into the air.
€˜€¦little low€¦€™
Slammed very hard into the ground.
This continues, by the end of the sogn mega morg has been shot, struck by lightning and sent to the level of hell ruled by the arch demon Beelzebub and I could be said its looking slightly worse for wear. Achilles looks at it and plays a single deep chord, the resonance of the note causing the tattered robot to fall apart.
Achilles subsequently breaks all music records with this single, the record of most awards, the record for sales, the record for highest average reviews and rating, the record for most money yearned and most impressive at all broke the previously unbroken record of number of good songs entered in the Eurovision song contest, now brining the grand total to 1.
Electric guitar advances to round 2
Darth Vadar vs. A white swan
House fighters are darkerstar and slammer
The former jedi walks down the corridor of the third death star, he never quite managed to work out what happened between his dieing and finding himself on this station, hes highly embarrassed by that whole wussy death bed apology to his son now that hes alive. How wussy was he.
Suddenly a strange organism pops out from a corridor, its large, white and avian in appearance. How peculiar Darth Vader thinks, it doesn€™t have any unused appendages, abnormal textures to it or even extra eyes. How very interesting. It€™s got a mean look in its eye, and realizing that he is now the only sith in the entire galaxy he takes in on as his apprentice, modifying a lightsaber to be used by wings. After years of training to the force it is the ultimate killing machine, using tow double ended red lightsaber simultaneously it looks seriously nasty and can use the force to do feats not known by Jedi or sith. But one day Darth White-Waterbird-type-thing as its come to be known rebels, trying to take over Vaders own Sith empire.
The two battle it out, the single lightsaber against the double double ended of the swan, Vader proves superior despite this and the swan is backed down, suddenly Vader reaches out and uses the force to begin to crush its long thin neck. The lightsaber drop to the floor and the swan is helpless, its got seconds before it passes out and so does the only things it can think of doing, it beats its wings heavily. This breaks Darth Vaders arm, because everyone knows that swans can break your arms so you aught to keep away from them. This breaks Vaders concetration with the force and the neck grip is released. The swan uses this opportunity to peck his eyes out though the covers.
The swan advances to round 2!
T-800 vs. Hexadecimal
The terminator unloads several rounds of shotgun pelts into the metal casing of its robotic adversary, which seems to destroy it. It actually has destroyed it, against all probability the fight has been won in a single attack. How boring. Suddenly a completely random battery failure in the t-800 causes it to crash wiping its memory core, and is apparently unrepairable, so a repaired hexadecimal with go onto the next round.
Hexadecimal advances to Round 2!
Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto
Mrs Potato head despairs, she knows that she can just buy another mr potato head from the shop but its quite expensive to do so, oh well€¦ Gothmog really is a twerp. She decides to write an irritated letter to him demanding for compensation, she doesn€™t notice the vast shadow eclipsing the sun. Eventually she does when she cant see the page she€™s writing on, she sees a vast chunk of rock hurtling towards her and glares at it, sit sees her and turns round rapidly and shoots off into out of space, a frightened look on its craggy features.
Mrs Potato Had advances to Round 2!
Coupla wrong results. Doc Ock beat the Rock (hey, that rhymes:proud:) and Glasgae Ned beat Dracula.
i know, i wasnt concentrating while doing it, i did it quickly cos i had a lot to do and didnt have the fights on me to reference them against
Glad to see the wars incarnate back. Here are my revised tactics:
DRAGONZORD
Eat the Mars„ bar. Though this fight sounds like John Cleeses self defense class...
Nintendos Mr Game and Watch.
Hes flat. Hell probably puncture the bouncy castle. Anycase he has a parachute...
Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
Having been affected with the holovirus in series 5, it leaves him telepathic, telekenetic and able to shoot pink energy beams out of his eyes, though we may add not in a straight line...
and finally:
Monty Pythons Mr Gumby
A quite interesting match up with Homer Simpson as they both arent very bright and can withstand terribly large quantities of punishment.
Darth Vader, you suck :lame:. Woot for Hex! :proud:
And Alex, just so you know, Hexadecimal is a Virus, not a robot.
Team Gore
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*shrugs*
Ive said in once and ill say it again, this is tournament written for the comedy value of the fights t=rather than the winning or the loosing. unless fo coruse you dont find it funny and all you wanted was another title for the trophy rack. If thats the case shame on you.
Wow, I beat Jack the Ripper :proud:
Clover, you think you were going to lose to some (quote Alex) mentally derranged surgeon? :proud:
And Alex, sorry for bugging the crap out of you :proud:
Team Gore
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Well, I really dont fancy myself walking around with half an arm :lame:
Dont take this as a complaint, but is there such a thing as a Wireless Playstation controller in this world we live in?
I dont believe there is, however, do we live in a world where Thomas the Tank Engine is the anti-Christ? I think not.
There are wireless playstation controllers, I have one:proud:
Hmm...Change for Spyros tactics.
SPYRO
Before the fight, tie the duck to a chair and destroy EVERY single games console+handheld control, THEN fight.
And before you ask how Spyro is gonna move without controls...he moves fine whilst in the cutscenes.
quote:
DRAGONZORD
Eat the Mars„ bar. Though this fight sounds like John Cleeses self defense class...
BAD IDEA! The Mars bar will then probably infiltrate his organs, then disable him with a quick karate chop to the head!
Either that or just choke him...
Dragonzord is a machine...
Machines are people too, you know!
Please remember that if I dotn know exactly what something is I make it up, kapiche?
Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
House fighters are Achilles and Allanon
The cobra commander has a machinegun, he€™s 100% true blood Texan enjoys shooting things. Preferably unarmed things. This particularly college kid looks more than a little out of it, so makes the perfect target, unfortunalty Horace P. Holmes or HP as hes known to everyone happens to be latently psychic. This in itself is not a problem, however what it does mean that if he sees something that€™s not there, for example a rapping real of selotape they are bought into existence to accommodate his 6th sense. Unfortunalty as someone who believes everything the media tell him he decides to shoot the selotape because rapping causes crime, unluckily for him there is a thick wall behind the selotape and some of the spray of bullets hit the person who fired them. The wise pink crocodile nods its head solemnly.
Funky Junky Advances to Round 2!
A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
House fighters are slammer and tengu.
The hippo charges, bearing its teeth and chomps into the flipper robot, despite this it€™s the fact that the linear launcher fires the flipper which does most damage to it, the hippo trips on the upraised bar and lands face down on the robot, halving the machines height. It doesn€™t help that the hippo had just been stuffing itself after Christmas. The bar tries to raise to lift the weight of the hippo off it, it creaks for a few centimeters and then snaps. Unfortunalty the hippy seems unable to get up. We call in slammer to pry the two apart, the ridiculously muscular man only just able to lift the bulk of the hippo, unfortunalty at that moment he has a call from Clover and drops the hippo to answer it, squashing the linear launcher flat as a pancake.
Hippopotamus goes through to Round 2!
Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
House fighters are slaying mantis and Odysseus
Last years runner up is an internationally accepted figure, thrice Nobel peace prize winner, blomonge tycoon and the modern equivalent of Leonardo de Vinci in terms of inventions. On the opposite side is a rather weeny and camp purple dragon. Dr Robotnik feels sorry for it and tranquilizes it with a blow dart, putting the little dragon to sleep instantly. He takes it to a vet and he summarizes that the problem is that its got an inflamed throat due to an unusual growth there, but it shouldn€™t be too hard to remove.
Spyro wakes up several hours later to see a red mustached figure standing over him, he recognizes his adversary. He tries to flame him, nut he can€™t something is missing, he goes mad trying to flame, the stress gets to him however and he has a breakdown and is taken into care.
Dr Ivo Robotnik advances to Round 2!
Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
House fighters are darkerstar and angel of the abyss.
The giant reptilian robot type thing crushes the mars bar, but suddenly it picks up something on its sensors, a vast mass of grey heading towards it. I comes closer and the dragonzords worse nightmares are fulfilled. Lawyers. Seven hundred and eighty world class lawyers for the Mars Corporation to be exact. They obliterate the dragonzords in a series of blistering legal defeats and the dragonzords ends up having to sell all its weapons and armour to hillbilly scrap merchants to pay off legal fees. The dragonzords is a broken death robot and goes onto the bottle, or should I say oil tanker fileld with vodka, damages its robotic liver and falls apart aged just 23.
Mars Bar advances to Round 2!
The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
Tengu and Kali
The steam powered locomotive, who is also coincidentally the anti-Christ is annoyed at failing to win this last time around, however he€™s got more tricks up his pistons this time. The red power ranger starts doing clever looking martial arts kicks and flips trying to sound strong. Thomas rolls his eyes, he finds this kind of showing off patronizing and proceeds to shoots a scalding hot fireball at the power ranger knocking him flying into a brick wall. Fortunatly for the power ranger hissuit is made of a material which although tight and making the owner look like a complete pillock actually never allows any kind of damage to it. So despite being bruised and mildly concussed the power ranger is entirely unharmed. Unfortunatly due to slight concussion he doesn€™t notice the train accelerating towards him, and then past him with a loud squelch in the interlude.
Thomas the Tank engine advances to Round 2!
Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
House fighters for today are nodachi and salamander
The inept duo of man and dog aren€™t looking forward to this, they suspect that as with every other thing they€™ve done in their lives something will happen causing them to loose in a way which is a) spectacular, b) very painful and c) humorous for most people except d) themselves. They advance on the teabag which is sitting on the soil looking harmless. Muttly gulps, this makes it worse, the more inconspicuous an enemy the more humiliating this will be. This is fulfilled when suddenly a puddle of black paint which had been spilled in front of them somehow warps matter into being a hole in the ground. Dick Dastardly falls into it but Muttley avoids it by deftly sidestepping. Unfortunatly he slips backwards on a banana skin and follows Dick Dastardly down the hole. However theres one factor the teabag hadn€™t accounted for, and that€™s quantum probability; over all the mishaps over the years D. Dastardly and Muttly have build up a massive luck debt against the universe, as by the laws of probability on 50/50 odds they have lost on over 1000 times. Therefore a blast of the laws of probability teleports the pair out of the whole and the soggy teabag spontaneously combusts.
Dick Dastardly and Muttly Advance to Round 2!
Still to come€¦.
Mr Game and Watch vs. Bouncy Castle
Starfire vs. T-X
Apocalypse vs. Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
Mars vs. Ringwraith
Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
Gravity vs. teapot
Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
Monty Pythons My brain hurts Gumby vs. Homer Simpson
A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
AWOOHOO! :proud: 3/3 in todays proceedings! Dick and Muttleys extraordinary luck must be spreading to the rest of the team :proud:
Super stuff as ever, Alex! :)
TAKE THAT, LINEAR LAUNCHER AND TEABAG!!! :proud:
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Completly off topic, but a wars incarnate style fight:
http://www.geocities.com/mrdave1986/Wedge.gif
is anyone else scared?
Extremely.
O_O
*starts edging away.... very quickly!*
...
...
:)
...
...
*edges off a cliff*
What a shame. Everyone loved AJ and... Ah, screw it. PARTY!!:proud:
*Pops open a champagne bottle*
And just so everyone knows, Im well aware that when AJ returns from the dead Ill be in for some real chamPAIN:proud:
To speed up proceedings ever so slightly I wont bother introducing house fighters. Sorry for the delay, this next fight has been a tad uninspiring, but I€™ve come up with a solution so here we go again.
Mr Game and Watch vs. Bouncy Castle
Mr Game and Watch gradually, er moves€¦ towards his adversary, he knows that all an extra dimension is, is a wider target to hit. He gets out his frying pan and it about to chuck sausages all over his adversary when an unexpected figure appears.
Jamie Oliver steps up behind him and takes a look at his pan €˜Nah mate, I wouldn€™t feed that to my dog, its just pig bits and additives, not real food€™
Mr Game and Watch is confused by this as he has never had to eat anything in his life, hes made of black pixels, not mater like everyone else. I see Nintendo is giving really lousy food money for tis games, we need to sort it out, Nintendo is causing the children to look up to junk food I want to change that. After forcing Miyamoto to sign a contract and Jamie Oliver produces a series called Ninendo Game Dinners, which is vastly popular and causes people to put a pertition to downing street, who pass a law saying only good qualityfood can be shown in video games. Mr Game and Watch was fond of his sausages and commits suicide.
The Bouncy Castle Goes through to Round 2
Starfire vs. T-X
The Terminator X senses something in its scanning, however due to my literal interpretation of anything I cant be bothered to ask about this is some literal fire. From a star. It blast the TX who just reforms, everyone knows that its not that easy, and it takes several sequels to do anything so permanent. The TX morphs its arm into a big blasty cannon type weapon, the writers never bothered to describe it beyond €˜it shots blue lasers which go boom€™ which realisitically is far more than the effects department usually gets to work with, which is why they amuse themselves with lots of explosions. The beam shoots and hits Starfire, unfortunately unbeknownst to anyone, least of all the special effects department the exact ions used in the blue blasty thing happen to cause a chain react into the fire, which oddly enough causes it to turn into marshmallows. The TX is buried beneath several tones of the thigns but eventually digs its way out to calim victory.
T-X advances to Round 2
Apocalypse vs. Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
I only watched an odd episode of red dwarf and offhand I can€™t remember Mr flibble and therefore can€™t remember who it is, as such I€™m just going to assume hes the kind of hapless fellow who normally inhabits that world. Therefore it was infact him who inadvertently caused the apocalypse, whereby according to the laws of cheesy dialogue (printed 1998, 1999 by Ironhand Publishers, see chapter 8, clause 12) €˜The one who initiates an apocalypse inevitably survives. This is backed up by €˜The rules€™ from the dancing gods. Go look it up. Anyway the apocalypse runs its course from which he emerges unscathed.
Mr Flibble advances to Round 2!
Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
The beans sit there looking innocent, The wootinator must have dropped tem muses the professor. Suddenly they leap towards him, but the professor is ready, his Chaos Emerlad imbued cane zaps towards them, quickly dry roasting the little beggars. But they land in water and possess it and stain all fo the professors smart clothing brown, which really irritates him, he had to €˜terminate his contract€™ with his last washing lady after she inadvertently got caught in an experiment to transform cheese into rock, so the moon will crash into earth. The beans are now fully dissolved hwoever, so the professor raises an eyebrow at this ridiculously anticlimactic fight.
Proffessor Vengeance Advances to Round 2!
Mars vs. Ringwraith
The planet mars looms over the horizon, a giant red orb floating in the sky, It gains speed, and hardens tis resolve, its outer crust breaking as it slowly drifts through the atmosphere, the heat burning away at its dusty exterior. It smashes into the earth, ripping it apart at the seems, volcanos spurt fire, waves wipe away the land. Unfortunatly Mars had the wrong address, he assumed that M. Earth was just normal earth, and as such Rignwraith wonders why his opponent never showed up.
Ring wraith advances to round 2!
Seymour vs. Wedginator Revolution
To be honest I can€™t remember anything bout either so I flip a coin. Both parties look annoyed.
Wedginator Revolution goes through to Round 2!
Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
I€™m gonna make up this guy, I€™m going to make up some random psychic teenager, unfortunately someone ahs created a compound which is immune to psychic powers and so the balls bounces repeatativly at Fryloch, his body too feeble because he never botheres using it cos of the power, the ball smashes him down below, then in the head, and then below. Sort of a full body work out. Eventually he drops to the floor unconscious which the ball pummels him further, turning his skin a nasty shade of blue.
Basket Ball Advances to Round 2!
Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
The giant digital beastie type thing looks menacing, however he doesn€™t realise his software is covered by the guarantee, this unfortuantly means that hes full of bugs, he tries to move but theres a five second delay due to shoddy computer, which is also covered by the guarantee. He roars, but error messages pop across his eyes and the sound faisl to materialise. He really is getting pissed off now and smacks forward, however the game engine collapses in on itself. The guarantee then relaises that he didn€™t cover the pc, it was just a mac.
100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee advances to round 2!
Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
Someone out there thought this was quite a good idea, evil vs good, however what they failed to appreciate is that a) the bible is inanimate, it can€™t have dreams and secondly b) that the bible is filed with some pretty gruesome stuff itself, so al the nightmare can do is add itself as an appendix involving evil purples apes and hitch a ride to round 2.
The holy bible advances to Round 2!
Gravity vs. teapot
The teapot travels through tiem and space, whirling with its tacky china designs, spurting boiling tea onto anyone who annoys it, however a shift in gravity causes it to look back on itself really sharply which causes the tea to hit across the surface of the life orb of gravity, causing it to shatter. Accidentla suicide by gravity. The teapot just carries on going.
Teapot advances to round 2!
Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
Tails just flies around aimlessly, whereupon he spies his enemy. He is about to dart down when Hector sees the chocolate bar, who holds an evil secret, it can possess those who eats it, it already has control of George W Bush and a good deal fo other people. Unfortunatly its current incarnation is a fruit and nut bar, which Hecotr despties, so he spits it out and chucks it in the bin, meaning that tails never fidns his foe and advances.
Tails advances to round 2!
Monty Pythons My brain hurts Gumby vs. Homer Simpson
Homer decides to eat a big jar of honey which he ordered off a tacky shopping chanel. However he wanders of to get some sugar to put on it when gumby wanders over, he sees a big jar of honey and dives in to eat it. Gumby jumps into the jar to get at the honey and becomes stuck, he drifts slowly through the great honey jar with his lungs full of honey amongst other deceased Gumbies.
Homer Simpson advances to Round 2
Still to Come
A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
I wish to announce that this will most likely be the last Wars Incarnate or for that matter my tournament of any kind, I actually am beginning to get work to do for a change, so I dont know if can keep this up.
WOOHOO! to the Prof and Mr Prowers victories :proud: and got to say its a shame that Alex may soon be stopping these tournies, since hes one of the most creative chappies around :)
...I dont suppose theres any chance the rights for the Wars Incarnate would go up for sale now? :wink: