i will do draws when entries close, but due to the nature of the tourny i can begin before they close, i had a free lesson today and its my last day of school so i thoguht people might like soemtihng to be goign with
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i will do draws when entries close, but due to the nature of the tourny i can begin before they close, i had a free lesson today and its my last day of school so i thoguht people might like soemtihng to be goign with
PS Any hoels in your squads after sunday will be filled by my choices, but believe me they will be good ones
Tactics -
Mars
Push things out of the way and freeze them
The Sun
Blow things up with the heat
The 5th Moon of Earth
Just sit around or crash into the other thing
A London Red Bus
Ram at the other thing and charge it a lot of money.
An old radio
Play an old song
Electrical Storm
Kill the electrics of everything around before walking off into the distance.
A White Swan
You know if you kill a swan, you can be arrested by The queens guard, shame as she is head of state of nearly 100% of the people in this thread. Look cute and swin.
Pluto
Spin in its orbit, if anything comes close it will stick to Pluto and because of the gravity it will be destroyed before it freezes.
My tactics:
Doc Ock - when opponent approaches, send tentacles rushing out to meet them, then do one or more of a range of things: produce spikes and stab them, grab them and throw them around or slam them against the floor, or basically pummel them.
T-800 Terminator - try to use gun on vulnerable areas, and if they get close, punch them hard. If things get desperate, use sunglasses to reflect studio lights and blind opponent, then attack.
T-1000 Terminator - wait for opponent to attack, use liquid metal structure to absorb any assault, then use knife-arms to hit back.
T-X Terminator - use cannon arm to blast opponents. If opponent is a machine, stick finger in it, take control of it and order it to destroy itself or other opponents. If opponent is alive and male, perform an *ahem* enlargement to distract them before attacking.
Ringwraith - stab with blade, and if opponent is alive, use scream to instil fear. If possible, use flying Fell Beast to attack, unless opponent is some form of weather.
Gollum - if opponent is alive, try attacking from behind and strangling. Otherwise, just be aggressive, and if allowed, try luring out of arena to see if SHE can help.
Velociraptor - jump at opponent and strike hard with foot claws, then go full out with teeth and claws.
Triceratops - charge and damage with horns.
Ill wait til I see the draw for proper tactics. Some basic tactics for now though:
Pussycat, Firestorm, T-Rex - KILL
Megaman X - If enemy has an easily identifiable weakness, use weapons to exploit it. If not, take in a variety and try various things. If in doubt use 4th armour and plasma shot.
Gravity - Bounce them around by changing the gravity in the arena very quickly:)
Nightmare - Uh, god knows. Whatevers cool:proud:
Count Dracula - If alive, feed. If not try and tear apart.
Pikachu - Throw the fight and get massacred. Cmon, you all know you want it:)
1. Jaina Solo (Jedi grandaughter of Darth Vader, dabbled i the Dark Side)
2. Mara Jade Skywalker (Jedi, wife of Luke, Jainas trainer)
3. Sarcasm
4. Seymour (From Final Fantasy 10, very powerful multi elemental attacks)
5. Shiva (Fayth from Final Fantasy 10, she is made entirely of ice)
6. Triple H (Just cos i want to see him massacred)
7. The Rock (Ditto)
8. Kyp Durran (Powerful Jedi, dabbled in the dark side)
Oh come on, Seymour sucked!:lame:
General tactics.
Jaina: Dark lightening, lightsaber, mind control, making the opponent forget that she is fighting him
Mara Jade Skywalker: Mind control, lightsaber, general Jedi stuff
Sarcasm: Erm...be sarcastic
Seymour: Cast loads of elemental attacks
Shiva: Freeze anything that moves
Triple H: Act like a snob, use a sledgehammer
The Rock: Get cocky and speak of himself in the Third Person (The Rock says)
Kyp Durran: Powerful force lightening, Mind control (at which he is specially gifted)
Apocolypse - He cant be destroyed, or hurt, or overloaded. Kill, kill, kill.
Morgoth - Use Grond to devastating effect. The darkness should provide extra bonus damage because it feeds off of my opponents souls.
Starfire - Aaaaw...blast the opponents like hell. If im facing Gollum, stay high, and never land. :proud:
Gothmog - See above battle :proud:
The Linear Launcher - Drive around and flip anybody.
Fryloch - Use eye beams and cruel truth :proud:
Malomyotismon - Same tactics as Morgoth except hes got better attacks and no Grond :)
And my finaly entrant is...
Godzilla! His tactics are to stomp everybody and growl sinsterly at them! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! :proud:
The Linear Launcher - Drive around and flip anybody
Yeah, right :proud:
Team Gore - Canadian, and damn proud of it! :proud:
1) The Wootinator (stats if needed)
2) A coffee cup
3) Nescafe beans
4) A teabag
5) A pint of milk (in a glass bottle)
6) A sugar cube
7) A teapot
8) A brick wall (with magical ability to appear in front of anything that has drunk [was that proper English?] to much coffee)
Pluto vs. Gravity will be a good fight.
*winks at Alex*
Entries are now closed, cept for Ceri who has til tomorrow to put in his 5, or my choices go i nfor the ramiander of his squad
Oh am I allowed another 5? Ok.
Monty Pythons My brain hurts Gumby
Nintendos Mr Game and Watch.
My mates white mazda 323.
Mega Morg (RW - S7)
Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
Thankyou Ceri, Ill put those emtries int othe lineup, the Wars Incarnate has no heat structure for the simple reason that this tournament is more about the fights than the winning so giving me more freedom with the draws allows for much better entertainment, therefore Round 1:
1) Pussycat vs. Dog COMPLETED Winner: Pussycat
2) Mr Potato Head vs. Gothmog, Lord of the Balrogs COMPLETED Winner: Gothmog
3) Clover vs. Jack the Ripper COMPLETED Winner: Clover
4) Dr Octopus vs. The Rock
5) The Sun vs. Coffee Cup
6) Spongebob Squarepants vs. Alphonse €˜Al€™ Capone
7) Morgoth vs. Ruf Ruf Dougle
8) Mr. Edward Hyde vs. Evil Green Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
9) An Old radio vs. Macbeth
10) Tyrannosaurus Rex vs. Banana Hammock
11) Mara Jade Skywalker vs. A thunderstorm
12) Sarcasm vs. Anthrax
13) A pint of milk vs. The T-1000
14) Pikachu vs. The Number 8
15) Count Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned
16) Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth
17) Gollum vs. The Wootinator
18) Bowser vs. Godzilla
19) A triceratops vs. Triple H
20) Bigfoot v. A random Dalek
21) Samus Aaran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat
22) Malomyotismon vs. brick wall
23) Firestorm vs. (Insert extra entry from Ceri here)
24) A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot
25) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Electric Guitar
26) Darth Vadar vs. A white swan
27) T-800 vs. Hexadecimal
28) Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto
29) Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
30) A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
31) Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
32) Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
33) The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
34) Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
35) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Bouncy Castle
36) Starfire vs. T-X
37) Apocalypse vs. (Insert Entry from Ceri here)
38) Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
39) Mars vs. Ringwraith
40) Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
41) Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
42) Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
43) Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
44) Gravity vs. teapot
45) Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
46) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Homer Simpson
47) A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
48) Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
49) Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
50) Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
51) Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
52) Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
So lets have a couple of fights beginning with The Rock vs. Dr Octopus
The house fighters for today are slammer and ramthrax.
The rock enters the area with his eyebrow raised, he can€™t see anyone that looks like an opponent, there€™s a slightly round middle aged guy down at the other end of the field sitting in what looks like a four posted gazebo from this distance, he must be some kind of judge, the Rock doesn€™t like fighting judges, they tend to get annoyed and tell his managers, he scans the rest of the ring and he sees a massive guy dressed like a wrestler, this must be the opponent he€™s looking for, at the minute he appears to be on the phone.
As the rock walks towards him giving his raised eyebrow look in an attempt to look tough he realizes that the guy was further away than he realized, this guy must be all of nine foot tall, and incredibly muscular, he might take a bit more taking down than he previously thought so he calls up his manager and gets him to bring some of the profs from his various films to the set. A man drives up in a limousine a few moments later and hands him a large metal bar, a shotgun and an ancient Egyptian sword. The rock raises his eyebrows in thanks and proceeds to attack slammer.
Slammer is on the phone chatting to Clover when suddenly the rock hits him around the head with a metal bar, unfortunately for the rock slammer is even tougher tan he looks and the metal bar snaps upon impact as does the sword which he attempts to stab him with, after unloading the shotgun only to have the pellets bounce off his biceps without leaving a mark the rock looks worried. Slammer picks up the rock with a single hand: €˜Can€™t you see I€™m busy, go fight your opponent!€™ he then hurls the rock who lands at the feet of Dr Octopus who was having a quick fag while waiting for his opponent to turn up.
Dr Octopus, having, unlike his adversary, a brain realizes that this must be the rock picks up the Rock in one of his mechanical arms but the arm begins to rust in the presence of the greasy man sweat that the wrestler exudes making the arm almost impossible to use, the Rock tries to do the peoples elbow on Dr Octopus but its very difficult to knock someone to the floor is they are supported by two gigantically strong metal arms to prevent him from falling over, even more so when two more identical arms are bludgeoning the rock even as he hits his elbow off the metal arms and gets in caught in one of the joints causing extreme pain for the Rock. Dr Octopus puts towels over the end of his pincers to extract the rock for the simple reason that he€™s recently run out of psychopathic killing arm lubricant and can€™t risk touching the sweaty man more than necessary. The rock struggles but just bruises himself further and Dr Octopus picks up the rock by one leg and signs him around a few times above his head before letting go who swings into the back of slammer and splats, the huge man only just noticing and doctors pronounce the Rock still alive after not finding any change in brain activity, although the lack of certain vital organs gives this theory its critics.
But Doctor Octopus Advances to Round 2!
Nest Up the Sun faces a cup of coffee!
The sun can€™t really decide what to make of its opponent, its smallest flare is a billion times the size of this minute object, the sun looks on cautiously and the cup fails to do anything at all, not even look defiantly like the fleshy things in that last fight, the sun is the biggest, hottest, heaviest, and generally most unkillable thing in the entire competition for the simple reason that with its vulnerability orb at its core it would require the next largest competitor to travel millions of times its own length at least without getting incinerated to reach it. The sun beams and then flares slightly to engulf the coffee.
However as everyone knows coffee gives things more energy, and the sun has never before experienced a caffeine rush and as it takes the coffee into itself it gets loads of energy, it can€™t keep still, its burning more brightly than ever and can€™t stop itself. Where can it get more of this wonderful produce, it looks towards earth and swallows the entire coffee content of that, unfortunately for the sun the excitement proves too much for it and the energy makes it go supernova wiping out half the solar system and drifting apart as billions upon billions of minute particles. However one object seems to be floating in amongst the debris in the void! Its an emptied mug of coffee!
Mug of Coffee Advances to Round 2!
This series we have onsite reality technicians who we don€™t have to wait for them to come in and build us a replacement solar system, and they are considerably cheaper than the last bunch too, plus we have them on contract, not that slammer was standing in the doorway behind them when we showed them it *looks around guiltily*, anyhow for our next fight:
Spongebob squarepants vs. Al Capone
Please note my knowledge of both of these is practically non existent so this is made up entirely.
House fighters Odysseus and Hector
The gangster is ready for the fight, he has a Tommy gun in one hand, a cigar in his mouth and a very expensive suit on his back his opponent is a sponge, Al€™s going to have someone shot for this, its very demeaning, but anyway at least he won€™t have to strain himself to get his suit ironed again. He riddles the sponge with bullets but this doesn€™t seem to do much to the pineapple dwelling being. Who walks and the bullets drop out of holes that had absorbed them, Al fires it in again but it doesn€™t seem to be stopping the walking sponge. Spongebob goes on the offensive but as everyone knows sponges are spongy so when he tries to grab onto Alphonse€™s head he bounces of again. Al gets his lackey€™s to run over Spongebob but again this does nothing so Alphonse gets the final solution, he grabs Spongebob and twists him , tying his legs together and does a strange version of the rack, twisting the comical creature on itself. However Spongebob retaliates by, screaming really loudly, Al finally sees what to do and rams his smoldering cigar into spongebobs eyes causing the sponge to scream more. Al then ties it too some weights and chucks him into the water which doesn€™t actually do much as Spongebob is now back under the sea but now unable to do anything other then scream for help as his face becomes encrusted with barnacles.
€˜Alphonse €˜Al€™ Capone advances to Round 2!
Moving swiftly on we now have perhaps one of the most improbably fights in the tournament:
Morgoth vs. Ruff Ruff Dougal
House fighters for today are Tengu and angel of the Abyss
The dark lord of middle earth, to which Sauron is a mere Lieutenant stares out across the blackened fields of middle earth that he has been blighting with dark sorcery, across them however something comes towards him it is small, woolly and generally very inoffensive looking, Morgoth begins to laugh hysterically, is this his forst round fight? Is there any point to it, he could destroy this tiny machine with the click of his fingers, yet it intrigues him and he watches it come, it approaches slowly over the ash filled ground, unable to get decent traction upon the destroyed soils. Morgoth contacts Ungoliant because it would appeal to her sense of humour too, the giant spider formed creature which sired Shelob scuttles over and bursts out laughing, €˜It€™s so cute, can we keep it?€™ Morgoth considers this a second, the short woolly thing doesn€™t appear to be able to do any harm other than to itself.
Morgoth scoops up the tiny little machine in his massive black gauntleted hand, ruff ruff dougal looks on, the robot weightless in the infinite strength of the Dark Lord of Middle earth. They head towards Morgoths palace of Angband where they give Ruff-ruff a little room to itself and watch it for a couple of hours and laugh before going to bed for the night. Having never watched robot wars Morgoth doesn€™t realize that Ruff Ruff never had a lock picking arm before. Also if Morgoth had watched robot wars he might have wondered about the fact that ruff ruff dougal was several tons overweight and might have checked it out, and in which case he would probably discovered the 100 megatonnes worth of hydrogen bombs that had been concealled beneath his fur that annihilated Angband, Ungoliant and Morgoth as the tiny little robot named Ruff Ruff dougal drove off into the sunrise.
Ruff Ruff Dougal Advances to Round 2!
Mr. Edward Hyde vs. Evil Green Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
House Fighters are Angel of the Abyss and Allanon
Contrary to popular belief The Evil Green Ranger isn€™t actually evil, that just on the television show, in real life he is a charitable fellow who campaigns against gun crime and homelessness, donating funds from his lucrative television contract to shelters and support scheme.
But what is also not usually known is that Mr. Edward Hyde is actually the nicer half of the twin being known as Jekyll and Hyde, unfortunately as the one who doesn€™t look like a monster the cruel and callous Dr Jekyll makes it out that the deformed Mr Hyde is in fact the monster while he goes around conning money from elderly women with his quack doctery.
Unfortunately neither know this and so they decide to beat the hell out of each other. The power ranger jumps in to do a high flying ninja kick upon the misshapen beast known as Mr. Hyde but he swings his vast fist towards the leaping lycra clad man and slams him into a brick wall, suddenly both are knocked down by the blast from the hydrogen bombs which just destroyed Angband about 2 minutes earlier and has just reached here.
Mr Hyde grabs the power ranger and slams him into a wall and the wall cracks beneath the body of the super powered teenager. But The green ranger isn€™t defeated so easily however and summons the mighty dragonzord machine, a giant dragon shaped robot type thing which in all likelihood consumed the steel output of a small country for several decades. The giant creature stamps upon Mr Hyde only to dent its foot and leave the man whose strength is created by a magic potion entirely unharmed. The Evil Green ranger decides to get his dragon to swallow I whole but just as the super strong man is about to be swallowed whole by the dragonzord the animators realize what tack they€™re producing for these lousy wages and go on strike, leaving the dragonzord poised in the air above Mr Hyde. The power ranger jumps down and lands on his feet with cat like grace but is beaten to a pulp with a hammer like blow to the ground by Mr Hyde. Mr Hyde is about to finish him off when he gets lynched by a mob of angry parents who complain that he is not only beating up someone who has doen great service to the community but also is setting a bad example to their children, My Hyde is left for dead in a ditch a few miles out of Milton Keynes (no one knows why Milton Keynes, its just one of those random occurrences).
Mighty Morphin€™ Evil Green Ranger Advances to Round 2!
Next Up, while we are hunting down those parents who disrupted the fight we have a more genteel but more horrific fight for you:
Macbeth vs. An Old Radio
House Fighters are Ramthrax and Achilles
Macbeth finds himself in a town, he doesn€™t know why but it seems to be oddly quiet, where is his adversary? What is a ray-dee-o anyhow? The Scottish king decides to search, he travels for several hours, investigating every house but the world seems lifeless, when suddenly he hears a strange noise. He draws his sword from the scabbard at his side and comforts himself with the fact that no man born of woman can kill him. He walks into a room where the sound was coming from, it€™s stopped now though, he walks a few steps in and suddenly the doors slams shut behind him. Strange noises begin to emerge from the radio and it gets louder and louder until Macbeth hears the unmistakable sound of his own demise. S Club 7 are playing, Macbeth fills his ears to try and block out the noise but the pitiful pop drivel seeps through his defenses, he knows that these are not the voices of ones born to a woman, no woman would ever own up to birthing the creators of this vile sound. S Club 7 becomes steps, steps become Daphne and Celeste and just when he could take no more it switches to Justin Timberlake to deliver the cruel and heartless coup de grace.
The town is almost silent now, everything is still, but in the background a deep and somber funeral march echoes through the ruins.
An Old Radio Advances to Round 2!
Tyrannosaurus Rex vs. Banana Hammock
House fighters are Slaying Mantis and Salamander
The t-rex isn€™t the fastest of beasts ever, but it€™s not stupid by any means so when it reads that its opponent is a banana hammock it doesn€™t know what to think. Is it a hammock made from bananas? Is it a hammock for bananas? Is it a hammock shaped like a banana? Is it some kind of innuendo designed purely to confuse the poor retiles minute brain? He can€™t quite decide so he goes to look it up in a dictionary at the library. At the end of the search he has come up with nothing and steps out the custom built reference library to have something drop onto his face, it covers his eyes and he can€™t see anything, its tightening around his throat and he still has no idea as to what his strange assailat is other than it seems to be fabric of some sort. The T-Rex runs out of breath and the banana hammock drops to the ground as the monstrous dinosaur drops dead through suffocation.
Banana Hammock Advances to Round 2!
After that short fight who knows what the future will hold for our contestants? Find out next fight which coincidentally is right now:
Mara Jade Skywalker vs. A thunderstorm
House Fighters are Black Panther and Scaramanga
Ms. Skywalker is a bit confused as to what to do here, she is an intelligent young woman and can see no feasible way that she is going to be able to defeat a malicious thunderstorm, however she creates a bubble of the force as a shield above her head, gets out her lightsaber and heads off into the storm.
Minutes pass and before she knows it she is completely enveloped in blackness as the thick clouds prevent the sun from beign seen. He puts her lightsaber onto extra bright and carries on, still only able to see a few feet around her. Suddenly she hears a soht with her keen jedi senses and she manages to deflect a golden bullet with her gleaming weapon, a curse from within the darkness as scaramangas one hit kill record is crushed by the jedi. Lightning bolts deflect off her force shield, Mara walks onwards, knowing that there is an assassin in the gloom ready to kill her if she gets the chance and with the rain pattering at her feet its difficult to pick out the sounds of a human. Suddenly a massive black creature detaches itself from the gloom and lunges at her only to be decapitated by a swing and skilled blow from her lightsaber. By sheer coincidence at that exact instant scaramanga fires another shot which ricochets off the lightsaber in the middle of its downwards stoke and on a billion to one chance goes up into the sky smashing the glass orb of the thunderstorm. Mara Jade continues to wonder what her opponent is up to although she has one.
Mara Jade Skywalker Advances to Round 2!
Sarcasm vs. Anthrax
House fighters are Darkstar and blizzard
Neither can comprehend the others existence, bacteria do not know of humour and sarcasm isn€™t macabre enough to acknowledge the existence of anthrax. They both drift around into the ether unable to even so much see their opponent, weeks pass and still nothing. The organizers had realized this would happen hence the choice of the two house fighters who are both immune to the fighters but also don€™t have time as such.
Suddenly a figure strides into the arena, she holds a gleaming sword in her hand and is surrounded by an aura of a powerful force, both sides see their chance. Spores of anthrax seep through the shield and so does the sarcasm, Mara Jade, insured until the next round by our super healers suddenly starts to feel bad, €˜Oh this is just great!€™ she yells out into the openness. The sarcasm fights the anthrax inside her body and Mara Jade wanders around dazed and suddenly stumbles into the area of Darkstar which unleashes thousands of volts into her body, sarcasm overrules the anthrax as the spores are fired inside her body. €˜That was real nice wasn€™t it!€™ The anthrax spores begin to die, the punishing blows of the sarcasm finishing it off.
Sarcasm Advances ot Round 2!
Next up, another battle between some of the greatest powers ever seen upon this earth, ladies and gentlemen I give you:
A pint of milk vs. The T-1000
House Fighters: Tengu and Nodachi
The T-1000 shifts its arms into horrendously long, cruel and overall very sharp fighting claws with a spine chilling slurping sound. It swings towards the milk bottle and smashes it right down the center spilling milk everywhere. Fight over, or is it?
Something is happening to the tip of the arm of the t-1000, instead of the gleaming silvery metal the end of assassin droids arm appears to be turning to cheese for some inexplicable reason.
Error messages flash up upon the viewing screen of the T-1000€™s motherboard, €˜essential lipid overload€™ €˜hyper emulsification in progress€™ and a dozen other entirely irrelevant messages flash up on the screen on the T-1000€™s eyes. Within a few minutes all is left is a killing machine shaped lump of cheese.
The audience look on bewildered and then as the remains of the terminator are analysed a theory is bought fourth; it seems that someone installed Macintosh on the terminator making its hardware useless. The terminator was only turning into cheese because Macintosh detected milk upon the arm, due to the stupidity of the operating system it reached the conclusion that it must be turning into cheese because milk turns into cheese. Therefore as the robot believed it was turning into cheese it did. No one seems to notice the shifty looking milkman escaping through the backdoor.
Bottle of Milk Advances to Round 2!
And now for today€™s final fight:
Pikachu vs. the Number 8
House fighters Nodachi and Blizzard
Pikachu is an idiot. It was determined in the tests that go before this competition upon each competitor that Pikachu has roughly the mental capabilities of an owl pellet. Although I€™ve heard that owl pellets have been complaining about the analogy. Anyway Pikachu cannot comprehend a number so vast that it is larger than 5, there are of course 5 pokemon in a squad (except Pikachu an idiot so he forgot about himself). This eight is frightening so he does whatever he does when he gets annoyed and unleashes a thousand of so volts into the surroundings, killing the last of a particularly rare species of bird which happened to be nesting nearby. The number eight does not show itself, suddenly pikachu shoots a thousand volts into the sky and knocks a passing blimp out of the sky which lands with a thud upon pikachu€™s head. Suddenly it all comes back to him, he€™s had amnesia since that arse Ash hit him on the head with the stupid pokeball. He turns round to see Ash and annihilates him with a blast of thunder leaving him nothing more than a pile of his name. Pikachu€™s name is infact Cornelius Thriftson and his IQ is infact in excess of 200. He remembers that uncle raichu left him a fortune and goes out and buys a fancy car which he cruises down the road with with a pair of designer shades on. Pikachu soon racks up millions in clever investment schemes and then as a half hearted way of finishing the fight writes 8-8=0 on a piece fo paper and advances to the next round.
Pikachu becomes today€™s last qualifier for round 2.
I hope you have enjoyed today€™s fights, or at least not been driven mad by them, more tomorrow probably.
Great stuff Mr. Holt:)
Against the 5th moon of Earth, MMX will kill Zero, causing Zero to come back from the dead again, opening a plot hole, then use the Gravity Well weapon from MMX3 to drop the moon into the plot hole:proud:
Pretty good stuff.
Against MMX, The 5th Moon of Earth will do whats its been doing for the last year or so and hide. It will suck in Franks plot-hole and give what left to the 3rd and 4th moons.
Bible calendar modem robot alarm clock waitor mobile phone.
Great fights! Unfortunate fate for the T1000 - I never liked Macintosh!
Woot! to Mr Capone :proud: and Booooo! to the Green Ranger :lame:
Wonderful stuff as ever there, Mr Holt. :) Tactics up in a few minutes...
TICTACS:
RANDOM DALEK - Simply try to blast him with the Exterminator arm and see if we cant set Bigfoots fur alight. One good thing about this draw is that we cant exactly outrun each other, neither exactly being Kelly Holmes on the Runometer :proud:
DR ROBOTNIK - Make good use of those HydroBombs from the second Zone of Sonic 3 and put Spyros fire out permanantly :proud:
THOMAS - run over that pesky Red Ranger and let Tom reclaim his throne. :proud: If the other Rangers are roped in, Ill bring all my Sodor friends along to the party too
DICK & MUTTLEY - Get Muttley to scoop up the teabag and let Dick offer it to the House Fighters. If they refuse, Muttleyll bite em while Dick throws it down their throat :proud:
PROFESSOR V - set the cane to Sledgehammer Mode, mash up the beans and add them to my coffee after the fight :proud:
TAILS - providing the chocolate isnt harmful, devour it. :proud: With Mr Prowers technological nature, he should be able to detect any nasty substances within beforehand. Also, if the House Fighters get involved, put on the Cute Act before booting them around and flying off :proud:
Tactics: Glesgae Ned- Well, my ned usually has lots of sharp pointy things, which are Draculas weakness. Hell get these into play by dazzling Drac with his gold, then stabbing him. If he misses, hell take out his bottle of Buckfast to help improve his aim, then hell KO Dracula and try to steal a house robot.
Electric Guitar: Move the strings as fast as I can, to make a loud noise, then electricute Ceri.
Funky Junkie: Moonwalk and smoke some dope. Then try to remember why he was in the arena. Life is gooood.
100% Artificial Insincere Hypocritical Guarantee: Promise not to hurt him, and tell him that if he doesnt hurt me then we can go for a drink. Then go back on my word and kill him.
The Holy Bible: Consult God, and ask him for guidance. He is good, and He will decide if the battle should go ahead.
The Intense Humming of Evil: Evil will possess sugar cube and tell it to jump off a cliff.
LOL. Nice Python-esque use of the dragonzord, couldnt have wrote that better myself.
Having eyed up the table, Is that the Firestorm robot or an actual firestorm? If it is the Firestorm robot, I must plee for a grudge match with Mega MORG. Go on make my day.
BIGFOOT
Against a Dalek...I could try to insult it by pulling faces at my reflection. Or, I could lie flat on the ground and pretend to be dead.
However, there is only one full proof way to beat a Dalek...and that is to go down a flight of stairs.
CRASH BANDICOOT
Crash has fought many wild animals before, gangster poteroos, overgrown tigers, krazy kangaroos, even a dingo with the tail of a crocodile...but this.
Spin, like all enemies, then simply pluck and eat it.
HIPPOPOTAMUS
Bite the Linear Launcher, crush it, then throw it around. Hippos can tear Crocodiles apart.
SPYRO
If flaming doesnt work, I can switch to ice. If that fails, head bash, or flying up high then dropping him will do.
KODIAK
Kodiak will not listen at all to the rubbish he is being told, but will accept it, but come prepared for it by bringing his friends along.
HOMER SIMPSON
Depends what Ceri chooses.
Seeing this is wars incarnate it would be an actual fire storm:)
To all unspecifieds in my name: I have no delegation which of my entrants (above) are fighting who. Id love to know also but there you are..
oh, tactics:
DRAGONZORD
Eat the Mars bar. Though this fight sounds like John Cleeses self defense class...
ff6000>SAMUS
Wear the hat out.
Thats all my tactics till I get more fighters.
However, there is only one full proof way to beat a Dalek...and that is to go down a flight of stairs.
Thats why I added the jetpack. :proud:
Ceri: I hadnt had your entires by the time Id written the fight, Ill insert them in and post them with the next set of battles.
Predictions...
1) Pussycat (W) vs A Dog (duh, the winner is Pussycat)
2) Gothmog (w) vs Mr. Potato Head (...Gothmog won)
3) Clover (w) vs Jack the Ripper (Yay Clover! :proud:)
4) The Rock vs Dr. Octopus (W) (Doc Ock)
5) The Sun vs A Cup Of Coffee (W) (The Ugly Mug :proud:)
6) Spongebob vs Al Capone (W) (Go Mr. Capone! :proud:)
7) Morgoth vs Ruf Ruf Dougal (W) (thats terrorism to Morgoth :proud: Ruf Ruf Dougal won)
8) Mr. Edward Hyde vs Green Power Ranger (W) (:lame:
9) Macbeth vs An Old Radio (W) (:proud::proud::proud: Oh well :proud::proud::proud:)
10) Tyrannosaurus Rex (W) vs Banana Hammock (???)
11) Mara Jade Skywalker (W) vs A Thunderstorm (you are too weird, but then...:proud:)
12) Sarcasm (W) vs Anthrax (:proud::proud::proud:)
13) A Pint of Milk (W) vs T-1000 (Macintosh??? :proud:)
14) Pikachu (W) vs The Number 8 (no comment)
15) Count Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned
Havta give to Bats here.
16) Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth
Come on 5th moon of Earth! :proud:
17) Gollum vs. The Wootinator
We thinks Gollum will win preciousss...
18) Bowser vs. Godzilla
:sad: Oh come on...:sad::proud: thats lame. Morph into Giga Bowser and pick him up and throw him into a power plant
19) A triceratops vs. Triple H
Triceratops
20) Bigfoot v. A random Dalek
The Dalek shall win.
21) Samus Aran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat
??? Samus...
22) Malomyotismon vs. brick wall
Malo to blast the wall into pieces.
23) Firestorm vs. (Insert extra entry from Ceri here)
Dunno yet.
24) A duck vs. Crash Bandicoot
Whaaa? Crash.
25) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Electric Guitar
Dunno yet.
26) Darth Vadar vs. A white swan
Use Twisting Influence to turn it over to my side, and thats it.
27) T-800 vs. Hexadecimal
OH CRAP! ...or not. Steal one of Franks plot holes and shove Da Terminatah down da hole.
28) Mrs. Potato Head vs. Pluto
After seeing what happened to Gothmog before Gothmog actually won, GO MRS. POTATO HEAD!!! :proud:
29) Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
Use my bold sarcasm and evil words to weaken him, then drag out a CD player (all my characters except Wedginator have one), put The Scorpions (not literally; that could be my downfall :proud:) CD in, put in earplugs that block 500 dB of sound, and turn it so loud that it kills the Junkie.
30) A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
Hippo to Zippo on Flippo. :proud:
31) Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
Spyro! Spyro! :proud:
32) Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
...come on, you can do better than that :proud:
33) The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
Tom to flatten Red.
34) Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
Go Steve! WOOT! :proud: I liked Wacky Races. :)
35) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Bouncy Castle
Dunno yet.
36) Starfire vs. T-X
Starfire to melt T-X
37) Apocalypse vs. (Insert Entry from Ceri here)
Im %80 sure that whatever Ceri enters, Apocalypse will destroy it :proud:
38) Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
Dunno.
39) Mars vs. Ringwraith
Ridiculous. However, I dont know.
40) Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
Act dead, then when hes on the flipper (remember my tactics) toss him into hyperspace
41) Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
Fryloch to deflate the basketball
42) Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
I dont wanna know :proud:
43) Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
The Holy Bible, because if you destroy it, God will be on your arse.
44) Gravity vs. teapot
Gravity to crack the crackpot.
45) Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
GO STEVE AGAIN! :proud: I like Tails as well.
46) (Insert Entry from Ceri here) vs. Homer Simpson
Dunno yet.
47) A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
The storm.
48) Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Again, steal one of Franks plot holes and stuff the opposition in.
49) Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
The bus :proud:
50) Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
Since theres no one to fight it then the Floor wins. :proud:
51) Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
Do the monkey with me! Come on! :proud:
52) Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
The Humming. Its enough to drive anyone insane :proud:
Team Gore - Canadian, and damn proud of it! :proud:
I hope youre planning a second series, because I got a good entrant for it:
Name: Omi
Weight: about 55-60kg
Shape: Dwarf sized human with bald head
Weapons: Any of the Shen-gong-Wu mystic weapons:
€ Mantis Flip Coin - Allows the person in possession of it to do jumps and flips similar to a mantis.
€ Two Ton Tunic - Turns into two tons once its name is called out. The tunic deflects anything that hits it.
€ Eye of Dashi - Eye of the great monk that defeated Wuya. The eye is able to shoot out a very powerful energy.
€ Fist of Tebigong - A metal fist that packs a punch. Also, it can shake things up quite a bit.
€ Third Arm Sash - A third arm that is worn around clothing, and extends out with a far reach useful for catching or grabbing different things.
€ Tangle Web Comb - Able to shoot out a web of hair that can trap an opponent, and can grip onto you with all its might.
€ Jet Bootsu - Once worn, this Shen-Gong-Wu allows that person to defy gravity by walking on walls and ceilings.
€ Monkey Staff - A staff that is able to possess the agility, balance, and even the appearance of a monkey.
€ Golden Tiger Claws - Transports anyone anywhere they want to go. *Currently banished at the Earths Core.
€ Changing Chopsticks - Transforms the person who has it to the size of a grain of rice.
€ Sword of the Storm - Able to create a mighty and disasterous storm.
€ Shroud of Shadows - A shroud that can turn the person who has it on invisible.
€ Helmet of Jong - A helmet that gives you eyes in the back of your head to see everything around you.
€ Ring of the 9 Dragons - Once you put on the ring, you can multiply yourself up to 9 times. Theres a disvantage, though, your maturity, potential, brains, and all that are separated too.
€ Falcons Eye - An eye that can see through solid objects.
€ Sapphire Dragon - The most dangerous Shen-Gong-Wu that is used as an absolute last resort. Covered by soot, its power is detained. But when theres no soot on it, a large sapphire dragon emerges, and turns everyone it can find into sapphire.
€ Serpents Tail - Can move people through solid objects.
€ Orb of Tornami - Its small mouth holds back a mighty flood.
€ Star Hanabi - Once belonging to Clays dad and known as the lone star. It is used as a weapon similar to a shuriken.
€ Lotus Twister - Gives you the ability to turn limbs into stretchable rubber (a la Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four).
€ Longi Kite - Able to soar in the sky with this Shen- Gong-Wu.
€ Tongue of Saiping - Allows you to talk to animals.
€ Sun Chi Lantern - Allows the user to unite his/her chi energy with anyone.
€ Heart of Jong - Brings any inanimate object to life.
€ Reversing Mirror - A mirror that reverses the effects of another.
Strengths: Possibly no way to defeat it
Weakness: A lot of equipment
You mean a third series, hmm with that many attachments i could have hours of comedy fights
And now after this festive break we return for more ludicrous battles to death or whatever similar state applies to the object in question, for example in our next fight we have someone to whom death was only a career change so lets get started:
Dracula vs. Glasgae Ned
House fighters for today are nodachi and salamander
Not knowing who Ned is I€™m relying on my imagination here and for the purpose of this fight he is a wiry old crazy late middle aged man with sticking our hair and a wispy grey beard, he happens to on the sole piece of information I have happen have large numbers of sharp objects, which if my line of thinking resembles reality in anyway is not really suitable for a public forum so lets say he has lots and lots of knives.
Dracula reads the script and gives his Transylvanians accented chuckle while slurping a Bloody Mary, Mary doesn€™t have that much blood left in her so he finishes quite quickly and casts aside her corpse. The vampire transforms into a bat and flues up to the rafters while the crazed Ned wanders around aimlessly looking in a bewildered fashion at the gothic castle in which he finds himself. Dracula drops from the ceiling behind Ned, graceful as a cat, silent as an owl but seeing as Ned isn€™t actually focusing on anything as such he swings round and sees Dracula head on anyway. Dracula hates fighting people like this, they€™ve got no sense of style. The caped bloodsucker slams his fist into Ned€™s chest and the man smashes into a wall which he breaks through and disappears. Dracula whistles and Igor appears in a plume of smoke beside him to hand him a bottle of vintage Neanderthal blood that he€™s been saving for over 8000 years now. Igor then wipes the blood off his masters hand and disappears in another plume of smoke.
Suddenly a figure emerges forth from the whole that he€™d flown through, the impact seems to have actually knocked some sense into him and he has a flick knife in each hand, Dracula twirls around the knives and chops him in the neck rendering him unconsious with a great deal of style causing the Judges of strictly-come-murder-dancing to give him a high score and he subsequently wins the tournament, unfortunalty for him this means the press suddenly is upon him constant and relentless and the flash photography destroys his vampiric body with its bright lights and he becomes a small pile of dust.
Glasgae Ned Advances to Round 2!
Megaman X vs. The 5th Moon of Earth
House fighters for today: Darkerstar and Archangel of the Abyss
Megaman X has more gadgets that a swiss army knife, and they are all useful too, unlike a swiss army knife. He goes off in search of this fifth moon of earth ready to destroy it with his lazer type blaster thingies, he forgets exactly what his memory for upgrade names is finite. He fliues round the orbit of earth looking for this fifth moon, but to no avail he just cannot locate it, he didn€™t know there was more than 1, even his super advanced data sheets cant tell him anything. He searches and searches, goes to consult NASA but discoveres the moon is so irrelevant that they couldn€™t be bothered keeping track of it. Megaman searches through the earths magnetic area to no avail. He carries on searching, hours turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days and days to years and eventually megaman drops from the sky too decrepit to fly any longer, he would have survived the fall as well if it wasn€™t for the fact that on the way down he hit his head off an unidentified object which snapped his spine which was ironically, the fifth moon of earth.
The Fifth Moon of Earth Advances to Round 2!
Gollum vs. the Wootinator
House fighters: tengu and Baldur
Born from a sickening obsession due to an ancient evil that has been in the world from time ancient, he craves that which he has lost, his precious: the Wootinator wants coffee. Gollum jumps at him but the Wootinator arm morphs into a coffee cannon and blasts into Gollum€™s chest, scalding him and staining his loincloth brown. This really annoys Gollum, although people think that his loincloth is accidentally that bad Gollum is actually president of the Archaic Looking Loincloth appreciation society of the Misty Mountains and that was a middle earth renowned specimen. His eyes see red, and charges at the Wootinator whose hand morphs into a porcelain mug which smashes across Gollum€™s face. Gollum sees that strength will not help him and he calls up his friends to help him, unfortunalty he only has one and he abides in the same body so it doesn€™t help much. The Wootinator then unveils his ultimate weapon: his other arm shifts into a set of Dolby surround sound speakers and starts playing music, but this is not any music, this is the word woot by a thousand different voices played to the most annoying tunes that the world has ever seen. Unfortunalty for the Wootinator Gollum had to listen to the god aweful song by Pippin which was in middle earth, not this world and so these are nothing compared to this agony. Gollum then remembers one vital fact about his existence, he goes and consults with the visuals effects department and he becomes a hundred foot tall dinosaur coated in steel spikes, bone spikes, wood spikes, papier-mch spikes and every other material he could think of but the Wootinator cannot be stopped so easily, Gollum is about to sit on him whet the Wootinator€™s arm extends outwards with a coffee mug on the end, then with a borad beam on is face he tips the coffee onto the animators keyboard. Gollum€™s colossal form disappears to reveal Andy Serkis in a skintight motion capture suit. He runs away embarrassed.
The Wootinator Advances to Round 2!
Now two giant reptiles fight it out, no its not an Aaron Knight vs. Andy battle.
Bowser vs. Godzilla
House fighters are Baldur and Kali
Bowser looks up to see his opponent who is approximately 1,205 times taller than he is and gulps, in addition to that he cant pull any kind of cheap destroy the animator trick cos it€™s the giant rubber suit one. Bowser looks worried then he sees his face, and his worries are dissipated.
€˜Cousin Zilla? I€™d heard you€™d moved to Japan but I€™d have never have guessed how successful you€™d become I remember when you were just a bloated throbbing irradiated egg.€™
€˜Uncle Bowser!€™ the voice booms across the main street of Tokyo knocking Bowser back with its immense power.
It€™s ages since I€™ve seen you, hows the princess abducting business?
Ah not so bad, that cursed Mario doesn€™t know when to give in, how many times has Peach told him that she doesn€™t like him, the only reason they were ever together was an arranged marriage on her part, but after discussion with her parents they decided it wasn€™t necessary.€™
€˜Ah you know how it goes, you met my girlfriend Rodan?€™
€˜I€™m afraid I haven€™t had the pleasure€™
€˜Oj I€™ll call her over to meet you, Rodan honey!€™
€˜Giant booming wing beats are heard and a slim and elegant pterodactyl lands on a nearby skyscraper, Bowser would of complemented her scale pattern if it wasn€™t for the pact that the wing beats of his nephews girlfriend had not smashed him into the wall shattering his shell and causing his vital fluids to leak across the pavements of Tokyo.
Godzilla advances to round 2!
A triceratops vs. Triple H
House fighters are Baldur and Hector
The triceraptors guns forwards and gores triple H savagely, the colossal beats withdraws its horns and the body of the wrestler drops to the ground. Triceratops begins to walk of into the sunset when the triceratops agent points out that that was a cardboard cutout for publicity and hes forgotten his contact lenses again. He puts them in and realizes his mistake and sees that the wrestler is standing posing for the press he charges but the wrestler picks up a pairs of Uzi€™s and guns the triceratops down, in manages to dodge the first few rounds but eventually the prehistoric beats falls to the floor and its eyes close. Triple H wonders where he got the uzi€™s from but his intellect is to miniscule to tell the difference between a dinosaur and a table hence the reason he wasn€™t scared at all by the charge. Suddenly though the triceratops eyes flick open, no longer is the world normal, everything is made up of code, by all improbability the triceratops IS the chosen one, born to free people from the matrix. Triple H spins round and blast the walking table with the uzis but it holds out its stump like foreleg and the bullets stop in mid air and drop to the ground. Triceratops then leaps through the air and with a series of bullet time martial arts hits triple H backwards where he is impaled upon a random cheesegrater.
Triceratops advances to round 2!
Bigfoot v. A random Dalek
House Fighters: Allanon and Odysseus
Bigfoot lumbers forwards and hits the dalek down upon its head denting it slightly, however with Steve€™s upgrades it doesn€™t do any harm to it whatsoever, however what it retaliates with certainly does to damage to the overgrown apeman, it grabs the opponents privates with its plunger and proceeds to suck. The apeman bellows in rage and bludgeons the robot more still fialign to do anything. The daleks laser, with greatly improbable attack manages to get a hit so precise that it damages the bigfoots genes causing it to mutate, within a few moments it has devolved into the lower life form known as a big brother contestant. The Dalek would scream at what abomination it has created but having no lungs it decides instead to break Dr Robotniks run of Nobel Peace prizes by shooting it through the head with its lazer.
A Random Dalek Advances to Round 2!
Samus Aaran vs. Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat
House fighters: Archangel of the Abyss and Achilles
The intergalactic bounty hunter squares up her opponent with her scan visor, unfortunatly it turns up a blank with €˜Large Inflatable Purple cowboy hat; composition 68.9% tack 21.1% booze for inventor 10.0% vile colorings, weaknesses unknown, purpose unknown, destination unknown, idea behind it: too disgusting to repeat. She fires her dark ray at it to no effect, followed by a light ray, she realizes that this hat abides in neither light or dark realms but the realm of cheap tat, she doesn€™t know if she can face something from a realm so vile. Suddenly it unleashes its first attack and her infamous power suit is rendered made of cheap acrylic in vile shades of pink that would make Barbie puke. It they throws itself onto her head and tries to destroy her brain, but with the last ounce of strength she has she walks a few meters, by which time the extremely shoddy workmanship inherent on the plane of tack causes it to burst. Samas drops to the floor almost defeated, her most difficult fight ever is over.
Samus Aaran advances to Round 2!
Malomyotismon vs. brick wall
House fighters: Tengu and Black Panther
The digimon smashes the wall directly infrotn of it with its awesome power, it was an average red brick wall, but what Malomyotismon fails to appreciate is that all brick walls are part of the collective, they are all one and they look out for the individual members, suddenly walls slam in on all sides, its incased, every time it smashes the walls more pile up in the breach and within minutes all that shows of the digimon is a giant airtight cube of bricks through which no air can enter and the digimon gradually dies. Te brick wall collective leaves alert mode and its units return to the vital last of propping up buildings.
Brick Wall Advances to Round 2
More fights when there are some.
EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!
(Wonderfully weird stuff as ever, Alex! :proud:)
Wheres nae danger on that translator?
Neds dont say that, sophisticated Scotmen like me and Steve say that :-P
BUMPedy bump bump...BUMP BUMP
I cant post stuff if i dont have the itnernet at home, which got delayed cos BT needs to dig up our road, I cant psot at school cos Ill likely get blocked by the network.
Poor old Alex
At least its better than having BT to replace the either telephone network in the village.
In theory I will have the interent at home when I get home tonight, in practise I should be able to post the rest by December 2038 knowing what always happens in situations liek this one