Dont take this as a complaint, but is there such a thing as a Wireless Playstation controller in this world we live in?
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Dont take this as a complaint, but is there such a thing as a Wireless Playstation controller in this world we live in?
I dont believe there is, however, do we live in a world where Thomas the Tank Engine is the anti-Christ? I think not.
There are wireless playstation controllers, I have one:proud:
Hmm...Change for Spyros tactics.
SPYRO
Before the fight, tie the duck to a chair and destroy EVERY single games console+handheld control, THEN fight.
And before you ask how Spyro is gonna move without controls...he moves fine whilst in the cutscenes.
quote:
DRAGONZORD
Eat the Mars„ bar. Though this fight sounds like John Cleeses self defense class...
BAD IDEA! The Mars bar will then probably infiltrate his organs, then disable him with a quick karate chop to the head!
Either that or just choke him...
Dragonzord is a machine...
Machines are people too, you know!
Please remember that if I dotn know exactly what something is I make it up, kapiche?
Cobra Commander vs. Funky Junkie
House fighters are Achilles and Allanon
The cobra commander has a machinegun, he€™s 100% true blood Texan enjoys shooting things. Preferably unarmed things. This particularly college kid looks more than a little out of it, so makes the perfect target, unfortunalty Horace P. Holmes or HP as hes known to everyone happens to be latently psychic. This in itself is not a problem, however what it does mean that if he sees something that€™s not there, for example a rapping real of selotape they are bought into existence to accommodate his 6th sense. Unfortunalty as someone who believes everything the media tell him he decides to shoot the selotape because rapping causes crime, unluckily for him there is a thick wall behind the selotape and some of the spray of bullets hit the person who fired them. The wise pink crocodile nods its head solemnly.
Funky Junky Advances to Round 2!
A hippopotamus vs. The Linear Launcher
House fighters are slammer and tengu.
The hippo charges, bearing its teeth and chomps into the flipper robot, despite this it€™s the fact that the linear launcher fires the flipper which does most damage to it, the hippo trips on the upraised bar and lands face down on the robot, halving the machines height. It doesn€™t help that the hippo had just been stuffing itself after Christmas. The bar tries to raise to lift the weight of the hippo off it, it creaks for a few centimeters and then snaps. Unfortunalty the hippy seems unable to get up. We call in slammer to pry the two apart, the ridiculously muscular man only just able to lift the bulk of the hippo, unfortunalty at that moment he has a call from Clover and drops the hippo to answer it, squashing the linear launcher flat as a pancake.
Hippopotamus goes through to Round 2!
Dr Ivo Robotnik vs. Spyro
House fighters are slaying mantis and Odysseus
Last years runner up is an internationally accepted figure, thrice Nobel peace prize winner, blomonge tycoon and the modern equivalent of Leonardo de Vinci in terms of inventions. On the opposite side is a rather weeny and camp purple dragon. Dr Robotnik feels sorry for it and tranquilizes it with a blow dart, putting the little dragon to sleep instantly. He takes it to a vet and he summarizes that the problem is that its got an inflamed throat due to an unusual growth there, but it shouldn€™t be too hard to remove.
Spyro wakes up several hours later to see a red mustached figure standing over him, he recognizes his adversary. He tries to flame him, nut he can€™t something is missing, he goes mad trying to flame, the stress gets to him however and he has a breakdown and is taken into care.
Dr Ivo Robotnik advances to Round 2!
Evil Dragonzord vs. a mars bar
House fighters are darkerstar and angel of the abyss.
The giant reptilian robot type thing crushes the mars bar, but suddenly it picks up something on its sensors, a vast mass of grey heading towards it. I comes closer and the dragonzords worse nightmares are fulfilled. Lawyers. Seven hundred and eighty world class lawyers for the Mars Corporation to be exact. They obliterate the dragonzords in a series of blistering legal defeats and the dragonzords ends up having to sell all its weapons and armour to hillbilly scrap merchants to pay off legal fees. The dragonzords is a broken death robot and goes onto the bottle, or should I say oil tanker fileld with vodka, damages its robotic liver and falls apart aged just 23.
Mars Bar advances to Round 2!
The Red power ranger vs. Thomas the Tank Engine
Tengu and Kali
The steam powered locomotive, who is also coincidentally the anti-Christ is annoyed at failing to win this last time around, however he€™s got more tricks up his pistons this time. The red power ranger starts doing clever looking martial arts kicks and flips trying to sound strong. Thomas rolls his eyes, he finds this kind of showing off patronizing and proceeds to shoots a scalding hot fireball at the power ranger knocking him flying into a brick wall. Fortunatly for the power ranger hissuit is made of a material which although tight and making the owner look like a complete pillock actually never allows any kind of damage to it. So despite being bruised and mildly concussed the power ranger is entirely unharmed. Unfortunatly due to slight concussion he doesn€™t notice the train accelerating towards him, and then past him with a loud squelch in the interlude.
Thomas the Tank engine advances to Round 2!
Dick Dastardly and Muttly vs. Teabag
House fighters for today are nodachi and salamander
The inept duo of man and dog aren€™t looking forward to this, they suspect that as with every other thing they€™ve done in their lives something will happen causing them to loose in a way which is a) spectacular, b) very painful and c) humorous for most people except d) themselves. They advance on the teabag which is sitting on the soil looking harmless. Muttly gulps, this makes it worse, the more inconspicuous an enemy the more humiliating this will be. This is fulfilled when suddenly a puddle of black paint which had been spilled in front of them somehow warps matter into being a hole in the ground. Dick Dastardly falls into it but Muttley avoids it by deftly sidestepping. Unfortunatly he slips backwards on a banana skin and follows Dick Dastardly down the hole. However theres one factor the teabag hadn€™t accounted for, and that€™s quantum probability; over all the mishaps over the years D. Dastardly and Muttly have build up a massive luck debt against the universe, as by the laws of probability on 50/50 odds they have lost on over 1000 times. Therefore a blast of the laws of probability teleports the pair out of the whole and the soggy teabag spontaneously combusts.
Dick Dastardly and Muttly Advance to Round 2!
Still to come€¦.
Mr Game and Watch vs. Bouncy Castle
Starfire vs. T-X
Apocalypse vs. Red Dwarfs Mr Flibble.
Nescafe Beans vs. Prof. Vengeance
Mars vs. Ringwraith
Seymour vs. Weginator Revilotion
Fryloch vs. Basket Ball
Kodiak vs. 100% Artificial Insecure Hypocritical guarantee
Nightmare vs. The Holy Bible
Gravity vs. teapot
Miles €˜Tails€™ Prower vs. a bar of chocolate
Monty Pythons My brain hurts Gumby vs. Homer Simpson
A Velociraptor vs. an electrical storm
Shiva vs. Hexadecimator
Jaina Solo vs. A London Red Bus
Sticky Popcorn Cinema Floor vs.
Kyp Durran vs. Golden Monkey
Sugar Cube vs. Intense Humming of Evil
AWOOHOO! :proud: 3/3 in todays proceedings! Dick and Muttleys extraordinary luck must be spreading to the rest of the team :proud:
Super stuff as ever, Alex! :)